To think that if you kick a ball into someone else's garden, you should ask for it back?

[lovehatelove]

Next door have 2 children, not sure how old but I think the older boy is about 6/7 and the younger boy is about 3/4.

They play football in their garden a lot which is fine and doesn't bother me at all. But they manage to kick balls over the 8ft hedge on a regular basis, but never come and ask for them back or shout over the hedge.
They never mention them. A few months ago I found 7 different balls in the back of my flower bed!

We were out yesterday and have come home to three balls on our lawn.

When I was a kid and I did the same, my parents took me round and I had to politely ask for them back, which was fine.
But the assumption here is that we'll just throw them all back every time.

I'm tempted to start binning them.

AIBU to expect them to just come and ask for the balls back?

My agreement with neighbors' kids has always been if I see balls when I go out there I'll throw them back, had same agreement with neighbors when my kids were younger. My kids were warned if the ball went over the fence that was it until neighbor kindly tossed it back over. Most would rather do that than having constant knocking at the door asking for balls back or the potential of kids damaging plants trampling around looking for balls, though we did have one nice elderly neighbor who didn't mind them going back there.

Honestly OP, just throw the balls back.

If you know where they've come from, just throw them back, surely? We have a gate between our gardens, and I wouldn't mind even if they came through to get them, but assume they're not wanting to intrude. Neighbours have small children, and some random things end up over the fence on our side. I either throw them back, or hang them on the fence, depending on what it is.

I think it's reasonable for kids to knock the neighbours once a day to get their ball back.
If I see one in the garden I'll throw it back but with kids both sides sometimes it's easier to wait till they ask as I don't know whose it is.

I had this with previous neighbours, they damaged several expensive plants with their balls. Drove me mad as they never apologised or replaced the plants.

If they are not damaging anything then I'd throw them back over and maybe just ask that they are more careful.

If they are damaging your flower beds then I'd take them around and speak to them re the damage etc. I'd be in no rush to give them the balls back though.

You sound so petty and small
minded in your posts.

It seems a shame these kids are playing ball in a garden, which is usually quite a limited space and likely to annoy neighbours. Are there no fields, pitches or parks in their area? My kids took their ball to the primary school football pitch at weekends or during holidays, and when I was young we went to the park or the woods to play.

My neighbours kid came round at 9pm last night knocking for his ball ('my ball is in your garden' - not 'can I get my ball back please?) and when I answered tried to barge into my house to get it from the garden. I told him I'd throw it back and closed the door. DH had just got out of the shower and a rude and uninvited 8 year old was not welcome in the house.

The temptation to not through it back given the lack of please and thank you and the barging in was very high, but they are nightmares as it is, so decided it wasn't worth the hassle!

I'd rather they left it and I throw them back at my leisure when I'm outside.

Balls going over the fence into gardens seem to cause all manner of problems on MN. Does anyone remember the thread where the lady couldn't walk on her newly laid turf to get a ball back.

In RL you just throw them back every now an again I believe.

We have children on both sides. Until recently found we found balls in the garden we had no idea whose they were unless we actually saw them come flying over. However one neighbour has solved the problem by writing his house number on his children’s balls.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3228175--to-think-this-woman-is-being-unbelievably-precious-about-her-grass?pg=1

Babdoc , I agree with you

Our gardens are not huge , they are not tiny either , so somewhere in the middle (though its a matter of perspective I suppose on large or tiny)>
We have one garden where the little girl often screams , some of it is because she is wound up by a brother , but some of it is just screams .
We have 2 parks in walking distance , both with a playground and large fields to play in . Not far is the lovely Beckenham Place Park (a 10 minute bus ride, if that) and that has a lot to offer.
Like you I don't understand why the kids are in a garden, day in and day out, when they could be taken to any number of said parks,

Blimey it’s way more annoying for people to keep knocking the door and asking for you to throw stuff back most people would be pleased to have your neighbours OP .

Are the balls damaging your flowers? If yes, let the neighbours know.

If nothing changes, just start sticking a knife in the balls to deflate them and bin them.

I’m not best placed to comment considering my recent parcel thread re. neighbours. But I’m guessing they think they have an arrangement with you whereby you return the balls at your leisure and they kind of keep their head down about it 😬

several balls everyday, even in the winter ? Really ??? I doubt that very much, unless you live next to a toy shop or your neighbours parents run a importing balls business...

Wouldn’t you get more annoyed about a child knocking on your door 3 times a day to ask for a ball? They obviously think it’s less annoying for you to throw them back at your own leisure.

What is wrong with people today. Nobody will do anything for anyone without thinking they deserve some kind of acknowledgement for being a good person. You should just be good for the sake of being good and just understand that there are going to be annoying things you do in life to benefit others without getting a parade all the time.

There was another poster a while back that complained about her neighbours children asking for their balls back and said she should be able to return them at her leisure. Maybe they don't want to disturb you.

I’m surprised you would rather they knocked on your door and ask for it back rather than you just throw them back. And that you would rather add to the landfill problem with their toys. It’s odd. Do you want them to beg or something?

Just return them when you’re out there anyway.

My next door neighbour's little boy (3 yrs old) is in the habit of 'posting' things over or under the fence between our gardens, as well as accidentally kicking a ball or two over.
If I'm out in the garden, he gets the things back and is reminded not to 'post' things if he wants to keep hold of them. If I'm not in the garden, I lob the things back when I find them.

MarklahMarklah

You’re a normal person!

If you've been throwing them back for ages then they'll assume they don't need to ask. And I'd not want to have someone at my door constantly. Equally though, if it's happening so regularly their parents should have either told them stop being so careless or put a net up to stop the balls coming over. Keep the balls. Eventually they'll run out - problem solved!

querty I quite often think I should bung over a bottle of wine or something for the parents as little boy next door is quite prone to tantrums at the moment. They are so, so patient (whereas I have the patience of a gnat's wingbeat).

Would much prefer to give balls back at my leisure rather than being interrupted at all hours of the day by kids knocking on the door.

And .... parents should stop it happening - or supply a bottle of prosseco for every ball chucked back 🍾😂

I kind of see the point of making kids ask each time - it makes it awkward for them, helps them realise their lack of aim has consequences on others and so encourages them to avoid kicking it over. But I really think having them knock several times a day for a few weeks and then At slowly diminishing frequency for a few years will be more annoying than throwing them over at your convenience.

If it really bothers you, go and talk to your neighbours and come to some kind of mutual agreement (maybe you store them and the kids can come round once a week on a Saturday to pick them up).