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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hew arrogant?

54 replies

Supermummy101 · 15/07/2018 08:12

AIBU to think my boyfriends comments are arrogant- during a game of football down the park he won and he said "I always win at everything in life" .. it was sort of jojey but he generally think very highly of himself.. so this comment made me cringe

It sounds minor and petty but he has a v good job car pension and at 40 has paid off a lot of his huge mortgage on his big house so yes he is doing well in that side of life but i hate that hes a trumpet blower!

He's also said things like he thinks hes a better partner than most men (when he does stuff around the house). Hes said before "i think im a good catch".

He say things like he doesnt do things by half..when he does something he goes all out to make it the best (this was after i commented hes never taken me away for the weekend).. so he was suggesting he hasnt yet but when he does it'll be the best :-/

The language/words he uses when he talks can often be pompus and it grates on me.

He discusses his pension n mortgages with his dad in front of everyone. He mentioned a new work deal the other day and he said "if i get this deal i will be a hero".. probably fine to say this but even this comment made me slightly cringe.

He says he knows he has arrogant stresks and that theres nothing wrong with confidence (ive tried to explain the difference). Hes not rude to waiters etc hes just a trumpet blower and i cringe.

The first time he met my parents he arrived one hour late (no reason), didnt apologise and when he left said jokingly to my dad "so as i like to say Alan, im not always right... just most of the time"... cringe!!!

Could u put up with this???

OP posts:
wakemeupbefore · 15/07/2018 08:14

Twat. Embarrassing twat.

RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb · 15/07/2018 08:15

I don’t know really. Some people make these comments and I just laugh, but it’s all in the delivery isn’t it? If it makes you cringe, I don’t think that’s great tbh. It sort of suggests you don’t share the same sense of humour at least.

PurpleDaisies · 15/07/2018 08:16

I would find that deeply unattractive.

ICanOnlyLaugh · 15/07/2018 08:17

.. so he was suggesting he hasnt yet but when he does it'll be the best :-/

No joke, this made me think of Donald Trump.

I think it’s fair to say that anyone who thinks they’re a really great catch probably isn’t that amazing.

If he’s lovely otherwise then I’d just come down on this aspect hard and hopefully get him to keep his thoughts to himself.

PalePinkSwan · 15/07/2018 08:18

You’ve posted about him before. He sounds like a twat to me. Why are you still with him?

MrsSteptoe · 15/07/2018 08:20

Sounds like something that's going to grate on you more over time, rather than less, so if it's annoying you already, it's going to be intolerable in time. Even if he's kind in other ways, it won't compensate. He does sound like a bit of a bad sitcom character, tbh.

NewPapaGuinea · 15/07/2018 08:21

He sounds like a Harry Enfield character 😂

Claredemoon · 15/07/2018 08:21

What's his good points? Is he kind? Generous? Compassionate? He sounds like he is compensating for something, have you asked him about his constant need to show off?

AtrociousCircumstance · 15/07/2018 08:21

I hare being around people like this. It’s like they seek to erase everyone else, they think they’re so brilliant.

I couldn’t tolerate that shit.

Next time, ask him if he’s found a cure for cancer. Or say - if you donated your massive wealth to charity, then I’d be impressed.

Dick.

GabriellaMontez · 15/07/2018 08:22

Hes nor succeeded at humility yet has he...

rainbowstardrops · 15/07/2018 08:24

Does he have a small dick penis? Sounds like he's trying to overcompensate for something else that he's lacking in Wink

chicola · 15/07/2018 08:26

Sounds like a bullshitter to me.

Run. A.Mile.

Poloshot · 15/07/2018 08:28

Fair play to him

Doyoumind · 15/07/2018 08:30

He does sound like a twat. Why do you need that in your life?

He didn't apologise to your parents. I'm sure he never apologises because no one really matters but him. Does the conversations always come round to him? Does he ever do anything that shows he cares about anyone else?

ColdShoulder · 15/07/2018 08:31

My DH is exactly like this too. People think he's arrogant but he thinks he's just confident and that people in the U.K. downplay their achievements. I spent a lot of time cringing at what I saw as unnecessary bragging but the more I got to know him the more I realised it was a cover for insecurity.

emmyrose2000 · 15/07/2018 08:31

Why are you wasting your time on this insecure, arrogant, pompous twit? Dump him and find a real man.

wakemeupbefore · 15/07/2018 08:32

People who sing their own praises are more often than not deeply insecure and/or carry a 'chip size of a boulder' (bows to Julia Donaldson Grin ) on their shoulder.

LakieLady · 15/07/2018 08:34

He sounds like an arrogant fuckwit with an over-inflated ego. YANBU.

I'd dump him just to bring him down to earth.

wakemeupbefore · 15/07/2018 08:35

@rainbowstardrops Hmm

Does he have a small dick penis? Sounds like he's trying to overcompensate for something else that he's lacking in ---

Just imagine someone posting about a woman being rather loose where it counts Hmm, the bloodbath following would be a sight to see.
Hmm

littleskittle · 15/07/2018 08:36

I had an ex who said similar things. He was actually a lovely guy and it was said half jokingly (I think?!) but it did make me cringe too. He only talked this way to me though, not in front of other people thankfully! 10 years later, we still work together but as we're not in a couple I am spared from hearing this cringey stuff!

HappyGowerGirl · 15/07/2018 08:36

Cringe and unattractive!

KC225 · 15/07/2018 08:37

He has been watching too.much of The Apprentice. I hate the 'I'm a one stop shop, I'm a brand, all I do is win' attitude it's cringe worthy. Most of them are trotting out stockphrases because they are too dull to come up with anything original.

Do you ever laugh or challenge him on it?

Can you see yourself with a lifetime of that ear assault?

EvilMorty · 15/07/2018 08:39

Did he go to a very competitive boys school? I have of group of friends that did and they are all like this to some degree. My DP actually went to the same school but several years older and he says the culture there encourages this kind of bragging about acheivements.

I once said to one mutual friend “I just cannot stand xxx, the way he goes on about his house and his job” (significantly cheaper than all the other boys houses btw but in a cheaper area so bigger) and he said sincerely “no! He’s a good guy! He’s got a big house you know...” Hmm

It’s a way of self soothing.

Mimmim112 · 15/07/2018 08:39

I think eventually you will start to hate him

ElsieMc · 15/07/2018 08:39

Well, they could be jokey comments but it is clearly hacking you off op and I dont think you will be with him much longer. Other things will grate on you very shortly, probably even his breathing.

The main issue here is the disrespect to your parents by arriving one hour late, embarrassing you in the process. Just beyond rude and uncaring.

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