To get rid of all the sugary junk in the house, even though family don’t want to?

[ShirazShirley]

Just needing to know if AIBU really.

As a bit of background, I haven’t decided to do this for shits and giggles. I bloody love chocolate.

However I have recently been diagnosed with PCOS, and shortly after that, pre diabetes.

I’ve spent the last few days frantically researching a healthy diet to combat this and have settled for the Mediterranean one. I’ve even written up a few menus that won’t impact the family’s favourite dinners (essentially just tweaking mine and leaving theirs the same)

I live with dh, dd 5, ds 2 and dsd 15 stays often.

My suggestion was that we don’t keep mounds of chocolate, crisps etc. in the house, and that instead when anyone fancies a treat they go to the shop (which is literally one minute away) and buy it. I don’t expect anyone else to stop eating anything they like.

It is a selfish request I guess, I just think I’m going to struggle with cutting out excessive sugar for a while at first, and hoped everyone would be ok with this idea as it will really help me.

The two youngest won’t really care, they like going out for even the smallest walk and are able to verbalise when they fancy something.

Dh, dsd and mil are another matter however.

Mil, while she means well and only wants the dc to have nice things, will bring round bags (yes, bags) of chocolate, crisps, and ice cream often. Dh told her in the past we don’t really want the two youngest to eat tons of it everyday, but the only change that made was that she now says ‘sorry’ as she’s lugging it in.

Dh isn’t supportive of the idea either. He hasn’t really said why, he just said I should know that when dsd comes a there will always be bin bags (yes, bin bags) of crap in the house (again, supplied by mil, who appears terrified that dsd won’t want to eat anything else)

Dsd would be fine with it I think (she’s over next week) Like I said, the shop is extremely close by and no walk at all.

But then maybe not, lately she has taken to storing bags of rubbish in her room, eating it and then pushing her dinner around her plate. So maybe it wouldn’t hurt her either.

But dh and mil are unsupportive of even giving it a trial run.

Dm is terrified for my health and says of course I’m not being unreasonable (but she would say that wouldn’t she )

So I need an mn verdict please. I feel like AINBU but will accept if I am.

Thanks.

Take whatever MIL gives you to the food bank- the kids they help will love a treat. Quite frankly having bags full of sweets and crisps in the house is completely disgusting and not something I'd ever do to my kid. Your changes are a good thing, stand firm.

Could your DH keep some at his office and bring it bak in small amounts? There is also the food bank option.
I think YANBU but you need to make provisions for healthy snacks instead (carrot sticks, rice cakes, etc...)

Do you have older relatives with diabetes? There's a strong genetic link, and it isn't hysterical at all to sit down with your DH and MIL and point out that's she's setting the children up for lifelong eating habits that are likely to make them have a miserable time of it in later life.

It isn't kind or loving to do that.

I think your plan sounds fine for all of you btw. It isn't good for any of you- not least your DSD- to be keeping large amounts of junk to be binged on in secret before meals.

There's always the corner shop if anyone really can't get through the day without a Twix.

YANBU. Sounds as if the whole family has been in bad habits wrt junk food and diet, and it's your health that happens to have been the first to go (unless your DH is genuinely very restrained in his eating habits and doesn't see the need to limit what's in the cupboards. Regardless, he should give some thought to the welfare of the rest of his family: you are becoming ill, and no child benefits from being constantly surrounded by mountains of junk).

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Your MIL does sound very unhelpful! Can you set a limit of what she can bring and enforce it (I.e. don't let her in with bin bags)? Appreciate this may not be easy, especially if DH is not onboard.

I struggle to not eat stuff if it's there. Would never occur to me to buy crisps or chocolate, but if it's sitting in the kitchen...

Op this is your home not your mil's.

I would literally say to her 'sorry you'll have to take your junk back with you. We are a healthy lifestyle family. It would just be put straight into the bin otherwise.'

Everyone can walk to the shop and it will also do your dsd a world of good to have food boundaries. She sounds unhappy with the way she's eating. Not to mention your other children.

There is no need for it to be in the house at all and I think you need to take no nonsense. If they want a chocolate bar they can still occasionally go buy one.

Ultimately the only way you will lose weight is with willpower, only your in control of what you choose to eat.

Exactly.

Op is accepting she has a problem with addictive sugars ect so is taking control by not having them in the house.

Accepting your powerless against addiction and changing your actions to put you in the strongest position is the greatest willpower.

I'm short, my dh has his treats on the top shelf where I can't reach and i easily forget they are there. Could try that. It limits the amount, your temptation but a middle ground so to speak. He occasionally offers me some and i say yes. But i also keep something like 1 bar for me where i can get it if i want. If you are pre diabetic I think a total ban for yourself may set you up for a fall, try finding out what it is that you personally are going for and reduce just that to start. Be more aware of what you are eating.

I think you have a parental responsibility here to not raise the young ones with bags of junk.

Unfortunately barely had m as tall as dh, so hiding it in the top shelf wouldn’t work 😁

My GP said it as it is my weight, but my blood sugar that was the problem. My weight is ok (very tall for a woman, thank god, or I’m sure I’d be overweight as I do like my chocolate)

Thank you everyone. I was concerned that maybe it was more due to my old eating habits that I wanted all ‘binge’ foods out of the house.

I’ve actually had mil over, and me her and dh have had a heart to heart in the garden. I’ve explained that I’m not doing this to be spiteful, and that everyone can eat exactly what they want, it will just take a one minute walk to the corner shop/garage/supermarket (all of which are extremely close to home)

So it looks like we are going forward with my plan. I have no desire to get type two so feeling very motivated, and I do feel this will help me (and the family by proxy) to do this.

Urm, not sure what happened with spell check there, but it was meant to say ‘unfortunately I am as tall as dh’.

I'm useless at resisting chocolate in the house and as a pop said you aren't banning it overall, just not keeping it in the house!
Would you be happy to share your menu plan? I'd love to know more?

I think this is unreasonable because of why you are doing it.

If it was a health push for the family in a general ‘cut down on shit’ movement, then I could see why you were doing it.

But, you are doing it for you. You don’t appear to have the will power to not eat, therefore you will deny everyone any treats because it suits you.

We have cupboards sometimes full of junk. I eat it when I fancy (not often) as does my DP, and the kids have to ask before getting anything other than a glass of squash/water.

I think you need control in your house rather than an outright ban.

Go for it OP ... YA definitely NBU.

I am a complete sugar addict. I cannot have any in the house or I will just sit and think about it until it is gone. I have tried so many times to be moderate and use will power and I just can't do it.

But then sugar is highly addictive isn't it? Which it's why it's virtually impossible to give it up by using will power if there's loads of it right under your nose.

The only way that I can deal with the sugar issue is to not buy it in the first place. So we don't have any juices, biscuits, smoothies, ice-cream, sweets, chocolates, puddings, yoghurts etc etc. Lets face it it you will probably be doing your family a favour because it's all just junk anyway and won't be immediately available to them.

Plus if you are responsible for doing the shopping I think you can do as you please :)

But when you do give it up expect to get some withdrawal symptoms! Mine were surprisingly bad :)

What size is your step daughter?

It's properly disgusting that you allow her to sit upstairs eating bags of crap. What does she do at home? Do you want your own kids thinking that stuffing your face while sitting alone in their rooms is normal?

What an odd family set up.

I don't like the sound of such an extreme. I don't understand why you can't have some chocolate and crisps in a box. You need self control not to eat it.

I don’t think yabu.

I don’t keep sweets, treats or soft drinks in the house.

It’s not banned, just if they want any they go to the shop. It stops that mindless wandering round the kitchen peering into cupboards when you just fance a “something” but are more bored than hungry.

There is no real reason to have chocolate and crisps in the house. They aren’t part of your staple diet.

All this talk of self control is so frustrating. Op has admitted she has had bulimia and if she could have it in the house and eat a bit now and again she wouldn't be going to such lengths.

There is less of a middle ground and it's extreme because many people who had eating issies can't do moderation. Would you tell an alcoholic that not drinking at all is extreme. It's cutting out junk which does no health benefits at all. Why is it so important to have junk that is literally making op ill around?

We wonder why obesity is high in this country when having a cupboard full of sweets crisps and chocolate is “normal” and you’re somehow depriving your family by not having one.

No one will die or suffer malnutrition from not having a treat cupboard. It is not an essential food group.

What about having a lockable box for your DH and DSD to store their crisps and chocolate in so that you don't know the code and cannot access the treats. This one could work: www.amazon.co.uk/Lockable-Medicine-Container-Combination-Emergency/dp/B071RK9JJ1/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?psc=1&keywords=lockable+boxes&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1531577513&sr=8-1-spons

You are fully in control of what you and your little kids eat so it sounds reasonable!

Oh and I have 'Binge Eating Disorder' and potentially PCOS too so know that this is important. Where possible I do get family members to hide high calorie snacks!

Dsd is a normal healthy size, in fact very much on the slim side. She’s been going through a lot of stress at the minute, hence me not getting on at her about food.

Everyone in the family has agreed to try it this way. I admire those who can have lots of junk in their house and no one eat it all the time (even skipping dinner sometimes because they are so full up with other stuff, like dsd and dh do sometimes)

That doesn’t happen here. I can control myself to a certain extent, but have admitted that I will struggle, at least at first, to not eat the chocolate/cakes/whatever if I know there is a mountain of treats in the cupboards/fridge.

I think yanbu. As an adult, it is up to me what I eat, what I want. Multibpacks of things can be cheaper, than buying individually wrapped. So why should I pay more. If I buy a multi pack of chocolate, I pace it through the week and beyond.

What about having a lockable box for your DH and DSD to store their crisps and chocolate in so that you don't know the code and cannot access the treats. This one could work:

Genuine question, but why? Why do they need to have treats in the house, when they can walk two minutes to the shop and get some?

There is no circumstance ever where someone would need access to treats immediately, sooner than walking to the shop. (And no, not even if they are diabetic, there is hypostop and glucose tablets that should be kept for emergencies, you still don’t need to store chocolate).

I am struggling to understand why people seem to think everyone has a “right” to access treats immediately, should they want one. Even if you are a healthy weight it isn’t great to be able to mindlessly grab a bag of crisps or a bar of chocolate out of the kitchen. A walk to the shop makes everyone think a bit more about what they are eating.

Haven't read all the posts but I am flabbergasted at all the people who have said YABU. I almost never have any biscuits crisps or chocolate in the house. If I did I would eat it! People talk about willpower being important, but the main indicator of success is limiting opportunities to cheat (whether diets or in relationships). No one should be eating junk except very occasionally anyway. Do your whole family a favour OP and ban all crap food from your house. I never had any junk or dessert in the house when I grew up and think it's helped me be a healthier eater as an adult.