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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Intrusive interview questions!

65 replies

ohbigdaddio · 13/07/2018 23:19

I had an interview today and was taken aback by a few of the questions - nothing shocking but things I thought employers were not allowed to ask!

After being asked questions relevant to the role things got more personal and I was asked about my 'situation'..."Are you single? In a relationship? Married? Kids?" I felt this was a little off but caught off guard I said I was married. They then repeated "Kids?" And I said "l have no children" and the interviewer said "no children...yet?" I ignored this but felt distinctly funny about it as isn't this discrimination not to mention this being quite possibly the worst question to ask me after 2 failed IVF attempts?

They then asked how old I was...how is this relevant to my ability for the role?! I answered and they noted it down. They then asked if I was a 'sick' person and how many days did l have off work in the last year?!

They then asked what my DH does for work...this is relevant how?! And finally they asked if I could drive (job involves no driving!) I said no and they said "why not?!" and seemed horrified at the thought of a fully grown adult who doesn't drive. I told them it was because I live in London, get trains and tubes everywhere and can't afford the expense of a car that I wouldn't even use much! This was a really weird question as the job is in central London!

Is it just me or were these questions a bit 'off'? It's put me off working there anyway!

OP posts:

NinetySixer · 14/07/2018 12:34

As others have said - every question was discriminatory.

I recruit in a very male dominated industry. I had a female applicant who is known for being one of the best in the field. She was asked similar questions at a Director level interview. (Not with my client). She promptly ended the interview and walked out. The man they ended up appointing was leagues below this women so they well and truly shots themselves in the foot.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 14/07/2018 13:04

How about, dads take time off 50% of the time and employers expect that because humans keep humaning.

DH works for a large, well-known, government-fucking-funded organisation. DS had D&V, I had a training course I'd waited six months for a space on so really didn't want to cancel and needed the certificate from it or I wouldn't be able to work, my parents were at work, FIL was away, so DH rang work to say very sorry but he wouldn't be in as DS was ill. His managers response? "I can't authorise that, you've got a wife who can take time off......"

Sexism is very much alive and well.

TittyGolightly · 14/07/2018 13:06

Asking your sob and no of sick days is fine but whether you have DC or not is a no no

Oh no it bloody isn’t fine to ask age or number of sick days in an interview. FFS.

Original poster

ohbigdaddio · 14/07/2018 13:31

The more I think about it all the more pissed off I feel! At the time I did think how on earth are these questions relevant to the role but me being me and wanting to seem keen and polite answered them! I guess if you say respond "and how is this relevant?", like someone upthread mentioned, they will rule you out as defensive/not playing nicely etc. But I do wish I had questioned it as it really put me off the whole thing.

OP posts:

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 14/07/2018 13:37

Good grief. Where were you interviewing, 1955?
That interview was like a role play from one of my interviewing courses on what not to do!
Very very poor technique.

alltoomuchrightnow · 14/07/2018 13:54

As I say..I have had this in about the last 15 interviews. As Ohbig says, if you question it , they will see you as being defensive.
And I'm really desperate for work.. I can't afford to pick and choose. But I'm really furious and if I don't get the job (awaiting second interview) I'll be telling the agency about what was asked

alltoomuchrightnow · 14/07/2018 13:54

Oh... in this last one , I was also asked what DP did for a living

OliviaStabler · 14/07/2018 15:44

There's nothing illegal/improper about asking a candidate if they have children, only discriminating against them as a result of their response

Why would you even ask the question in the first place if it will not factor into the recruitment process? This is not a 'getting to know you informal chat at a BBQ', it is an interview to establish if the candidate had the right skills and experience required to do the job and also if they would fit into the company culture / team.

By asking questions as in the OP related to age / kids / illness they open themselves up to a claim of discrimination in the recruitment process.

MyOtherProfile · 14/07/2018 15:48

Wow what an awful interview. I would be tempted to send them interview guidelines!

alltoomuchrightnow · 14/07/2018 16:06

So.. can we clarify... is it ok for them to ask (well, not ok but legal) as long as this isn't used against you? (not that that could be proved v well)

KittyVonCatsworth · 14/07/2018 16:11

Wow! Definitely not ok! I went to an interview recently and the MD said there was a bit of international travel then asked me if I had young family. I asked him back if he would’ve asked the question if I was a man...put him back in his box anyway.

I would mention it to the hiring company.

OliviaStabler · 14/07/2018 19:31

So.. can we clarify... is it ok for them to ask (well, not ok but legal) as long as this isn't used against you? (not that that could be proved v well)

It is not illegal in itself to ask those questions. However it is illegal to act on the answers and discriminate against one or more candidates on issues in the answers such as race, sexual orientation, being married etc. Where the issue lies is in the proof that the company did or did not use that information to eliminate a particular candidate therefore official guidance is not to ask the question/s at all.

If you have a genuine need to find out a certain fact about a candidate's ability to do the job, you can ask but not in a discriminatory way. As an example, if you had a young person being interviewed for a role in a business that sells alcohol to the public, you could ask the question 'Are you over 18?' as anyone under that age cannot sell alcohol so they could not carry out the role they are applying for.

Graphista · 14/07/2018 20:02

"They seemed very interested in me which will be awkward if they offer me the job" if they do PLEASE tell them why you're turning them down.

"Sounds like your interviewer was drunk" I actually was interviewed by a drunk (at 9.30am!) interviewer. VERY well known prestigious retailer, could smell it as soon as I entered her office, slurring her words and at one point fell out of her chair! Most bizarre interview I've ever experienced. And I was offered the job! It would have meant working directly under her, during the interview she had completely slated both employees (describing them as lazy and selfish) and management (unsupportive & incompetent). It was through an agency and I did tell them exactly what had happened and why I wasn't taking the job.

MindatWork · 14/07/2018 20:14

for you for the ivf op, been there and it’s shitty.

Good for you for looking for a new job though - I stayed in a job I hated through 4 rounds of ivf and it nearly finished me off.

Best of luck with everything, hope you find some better new employers than these twatweasels!

Original poster

ohbigdaddio · 15/07/2018 09:22

alltoomuchrightnow Yes, I really don't know why they wanted to know what DH does? I can only think it's to try to gauge salary?! God knows.

KittyVonCatsworth the job wasnt through an agency, I just applied direct to the company. But yes I will tell them why I won't be taking the job if it is offered to me!

OP posts:

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