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Original poster

Intrusive interview questions!

65 replies

ohbigdaddio · 13/07/2018 23:19

I had an interview today and was taken aback by a few of the questions - nothing shocking but things I thought employers were not allowed to ask!

After being asked questions relevant to the role things got more personal and I was asked about my 'situation'..."Are you single? In a relationship? Married? Kids?" I felt this was a little off but caught off guard I said I was married. They then repeated "Kids?" And I said "l have no children" and the interviewer said "no children...yet?" I ignored this but felt distinctly funny about it as isn't this discrimination not to mention this being quite possibly the worst question to ask me after 2 failed IVF attempts?

They then asked how old I was...how is this relevant to my ability for the role?! I answered and they noted it down. They then asked if I was a 'sick' person and how many days did l have off work in the last year?!

They then asked what my DH does for work...this is relevant how?! And finally they asked if I could drive (job involves no driving!) I said no and they said "why not?!" and seemed horrified at the thought of a fully grown adult who doesn't drive. I told them it was because I live in London, get trains and tubes everywhere and can't afford the expense of a car that I wouldn't even use much! This was a really weird question as the job is in central London!

Is it just me or were these questions a bit 'off'? It's put me off working there anyway!

OP posts:
Graphista · 14/07/2018 00:56

Amazing - that's not true in every job though. If that's the case for the job then it's directly relevant to the role making it - imo - a reasonable question.

But op states no requirement to drive - therefore unreasonable question.

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 00:57

no matter how politely you phrase it, they're going to be putting you on the 'no' list.

If they're smart they'd be scared to put you on the 'no' list after that question.

quizqueen · 14/07/2018 01:00

I would have asked them if they were asking the same questions to the male candidates. It's fair enough to ask about past sick days as no one wants to employ someone who is likely to be unreliable. However, if women want equality with men in the workplace then they shouldn't expect time off to look after children who are ill either. You can't have it both ways.

Graphista · 14/07/2018 01:05

No - if women want equality in the workplace men should ALSO be taking time off to look after THEIR sick children.

And employers should be treating women employees equally.

AmazingPostVoices · 14/07/2018 01:09

Graphista I agree which is why I said “it wasn’t necessarily an unreasonable question”.

Both DH and so have taken time off or rearranged our work for sick children. We take turns as do most people we know.

Jonbb · 14/07/2018 01:12

Quizqueen actually you are wrong and the interviewers must NOT ask about sick days during an interview because if people have a disability they may need more time off in order to cope with that disability. It is not me saying this, it is the law. They may ask on an application but that information must not be shared with the interview panel. The questions the OP was asked is enough to put the questionnaire to the company as part of an information gathering exercise to make a claim at an employment tribunal. If every woman who is asked these questions, made an ET claim, they would soon stop asking them because the damages available at tribunal do not have a ceiling.

PaintedHorizons · 14/07/2018 01:24

I wonder what the figures are on interview success nowadays. How many successful applicants really are the right and best person for the job. I'd be interested to see the figures on staff retention - although that's hardly the full story.

Whilst not disagreeing with PPs I know I like to be upfront about my kids, sick days etc at interview as I prefer to be open. I also think that we have now adopted competency interviews which actually are useless at identifying the right person for a job.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 14/07/2018 01:24

I've had this before, in fact they had obviously properly searched my background and found out all about my DP, who the interviewer had come across before (similar industries). I found out after that the interviewer and my DP had an argument years previously so that probably explained all the questions about him.

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 02:03

However, if women want equality with men in the workplace then they shouldn't expect time off to look after children who are ill either. You can't have it both.

Confused who the fuck is supposed to look after the sick child if their parents can't do it and they can't be send to child care or school? The fucking day care fairy?

How about, dads take time off 5%0 of the time and employers expect that because humans keep humaning.

BlueBug45 · 14/07/2018 02:21

The questions are completely off and you dodged a bullet working for a company run by discriminatory idiots.

While it is still illegal as their criteria should be relevant to the job, there are ways of working things out or putting things in the advert/job description to deter people they don't want.

For example if they want to know your approximate age they can ask for particular qualifications e.g. a degree, then work it out from when you did it. If they want no epileptics etc then they should have put it in the advert/job description that you are required to travel regularly to their other offices/clients in middle of nowhere. If they don't want parents/people with hobbies/life outside the job then you put in the advert/job description stuff about having to work irregular hours to meet tight deadlines.

BlueBug45 · 14/07/2018 02:26

@PaintedHorizons the majority of interview techniques are crap for finding the right person for the job. Generally recommendations work best but they tend to be discriminatory as most people only know people like themselves.

Monty27 · 14/07/2018 02:33

AFAIK not allowed to ask stuff like that at all. I wouldn't want to work for them quite honestly. They sound like assholes.

KickAssAngel · 14/07/2018 02:54

Do you still want the job? (maybe you don't fancy working with these people)
Is it a big co with a HR dept?

Because if the answer to both of these is 'yes' - I would email HR tonight telling them that you felt very offput by the questions and would like to raise that you don't think you got a fair and equal opportunity at the interview.

I've been in teaching for over 25 years and have NEVER heard of anyone asking these questions. I've even managed to spend entire days with candidates and not be so nosy, even over lunch. One applicant did volunteer the info that it was her due date on the day we interviewed her - no-one had even hinted about her pregnancy even though it was really very obvious.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/07/2018 02:58

You should report this outrage to every and any agency you can. What a prick.

walkinginshadows · 14/07/2018 07:56

I once had an interview where I was asked about a partner/kids (had neither at the time), then was asked well who do you live with then? Then I was grilled about my flatmate - was he truly ‘only’ a flatmate, his job/age/ nationality.

Then it was “do you like to go out drinking?” I was a bit taken aback and replied something like yes I like to meet up with friends for a drink and a meal. One of the interviewer’s response was, in an odd petulant voice, was “well, we like to work hard and we like to play hard.”

The above combined with a series of vague job-related questions, the giggling and unprofessional manner of the two interviewers, led me to believe very quickly in the interview that there was no way I’d want to work with such idiots. The company was a world leader in its field so why they put such people in charge of interviewing is beyond me.

I complained to the recruitment agency and also told them to withdraw my application. A few days later they rang back to say they had spoken to their HR department who apologised for their employees behaviour and inappropriate questions.

Rollonweekend · 14/07/2018 08:23

Completely inappropriate - it should tell you something about the culture of the company. I would see that as a major red flag and not want to progress with the process to be honest.

PaintedHorizons · 14/07/2018 09:24

BlueBug45 - exactly.

Putting specific requirements in a job ad should weed people out but doesn't always.

Babdoc · 14/07/2018 09:38

V disappointing to see that sexism is still alive and well in interviews even in these supposedly enlightened times.
Thirty five years ago I was asked (by a female consultant!) “How will your husband breast feed your children while you’re at work?” in an interview for a junior hospital doctor post. I was childless at the time!
I agree with the many PPs who advise you to make a formal complaint, OP. And in any future interviews like that, fix the HR rep with a beady stare and ask them to list the relevant section of legislation that outlaws said question!

Original poster
ohbigdaddio · 14/07/2018 09:42

KickAssAngel I don't want the job now that I've had the interview! I got a slightly bad vibe from the 2 women interviewing me and felt they were handling the interview from a suspicious point of view rather than an position of trust (in me and my answers). When they asked my salary expectations I pointed out that I have over 10 years experience in the field and so would be looking at £xxxxx per year. One of them got defensive and said "Yes, but you don't have experience working here so you would need to get up to speed with how we do things" (!) I was just trying to sell myself!

I also think they were mother and daughter - just the way they spoke to each other at certain points. It's a medium sized family firm and I don't think they have a HR department!!! All communication about the interview etc was through them.

Red flags went up immediately for me when they questioned my attendance/illness (I may need time off later in year for more IVF) and I instantly felt I would not be comfortable asking them for time off for this and could imagine them being nasty about it.

They seemed very interested in me which will be awkward if they offer me the job. All in all it was a rather uncomfortable experience!

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 14/07/2018 09:49

V disappointing to see that sexism is still alive and well in interviews even in these supposedly enlightened times.

And disability discrimination on this thread. If it's not ok to ask about children, it's certainly not ok to ask about sickness.

Legally, they can ask any questions they wish, what they cannot do is use the information about protected characteristics to discriminate in the decision making process. Asking the questions in the first place leaves the whole process open to question, hence why it is good practice (though not a legal requirement) to avoid such questions.

Ketayuzu · 14/07/2018 12:03

Yep they can ask anything they want. They can't use it to make a decision though- it would be discriminatory. So they are idiots. Because if you don't get the job you can sue for discrimination. Though I'm fairly sure you don't want to work there anyway!

I had an interviewp panel (male dominated industry) of all middle aged men who asked whether i was married (I asked how that was related to the role?) And what i would do if i was asked to do some filing- as they don't have women in role, just female secretaries.... (suggest they find someone more qualified to do that). They offered me the job. I turned it down. They came back with more money. I turned them down.

WonderfulWonders · 14/07/2018 12:09

There's nothing illegal/improper about asking a candidate if they have children, only discriminating against them as a result of their response

Blackness78 · 14/07/2018 12:19

*WonderfulWonders

There's nothing illegal/improper about asking a candidate if they have children, only discriminating against them as a result of their response*

If the response didn't matter, why ask the question?

The answer is going to either work in the candidate's favour or not.

Jonbb · 14/07/2018 12:23

WonderfulWonders Asking the question can result in an inference of discrimination, so why ask it? What possible relevance could that have to employment?

cricketmum84 · 14/07/2018 12:32

Sounds like your interviewer was drunk Grin

In all seriousness they have just broken pretty much every single rule in the book! Defo would not want to work for them and would be speaking to their HR dept if possible!

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