Ex wants specific times to FaceTime DS whilst on holiday

[Winosaurus]

Ex has booked to go to America for 2 weeks... knowing this I booked our family holiday for whilst he’s away.
The time difference will be 9 hours whilst we’re abroad too and Ex is insisiting that DS (3yo) FaceTimes him at specific times whilst he’s away. Suggesting 11am or 7pm our time.
Where we are going (family holiday home, regularly visited) I know I don’t get 4G in many places and that FaceTime is only an option whilst we’re in the villa where there’s WiFi and I can’t and won’t guarantee we’ll be home at those times as it’ll restrict our ability to go out.
I explained to Ex that I have phone signal most places so he can always call and if we’re in the villa he can FaceTime, but if we’re not then he’ll just have to speak to DS on the phone.

Ex has kicked off saying I’m unreasonable and that he “can’t go 2 weeks without seeing DS”... well I pointed out that we’re actually only away for a week so he can FaceTime whenever the week we’re home and actually if he was that bothered then why did he book to go away for 2 weeks without considering DS?

He’s not letting it drop and I’m not having my holiday movements or planned being dictated by him wanting to pin us down to specific times.

WIBU to just tell him to fuck off if he carries on? He’s getting on my nerves always trying to be so controlling

Good text.

I bet once he's in Vegas he won't want the inflexiblity he's demanding on the calls. I suspect he's trying to ruin your holiday before it's begun. I'd make a vague commitment, 'yes, we'll aim for this time depending on WiFi of course'. Then just get on with my holiday, if you can Face time fine, if you can't, don't sweat about it.

Well now you know there’s no point trying to accommodate him, sounds like he just escalates. So you can book the cheaper holiday period next time!

Well now you know there’s no point trying to accommodate him, sounds like he just escalates. So you can book the cheaper holiday period next time!

Except that OP did this for her DS not her self-absorbed ex.

Thumbs up op have a great holiday

My previously unaccomodating ex, has just said he’s recorded a video of DS (5 time zones away) and will send it on WhatsApp.
Could an exchange of video messages. ( when DS is in the mood) possible? I find my DS is not keen on chatting on the phone to order & hes 8

Holidays aren't for routines and regimentation. They are for relaxing and doing exactly what you want. Stop engaging with him about this.

Don't send that message. Just agree that he's welcomed to FaceTime whenever he likes.

Then just get on with your day as you want and ignore his shenanigans with a brief "oops sorry the WiFi is very unreliable here", which it is anyway in many villas. I'm currently writing this post from a villa in Spain. The WiFi is ok but very, very slow. I'm pretty sure that it would be lagging like crazy if I was to FaceTime anyone.

The wifi is very dodgy where you are staying though isn't it?

The text sounds fine- don't engage further. He ought to know that it is silly to carry on when even if you are in WiFi connection may be poor or non existent.

So I will text him this
“Sorry specific times won’t work for us as we don’t really have a routine on holiday. Feel free to call me to speak to DS whenever you like and if we’re home you can FaceTime us
Perfect

Don't let him control you.