I really really REALLY don't want a c-section

[SaffronSands]

More of an AIB unrealistic as opposed to AIB unreasonable.

I'm pregnant with my first. Pregnancy hasn't gone the way I wanted it to (of course we all want it to go smoothly, so far it has been far less than smooth and very, very scary).

I am desperate to have a natural birth. Absolutely do not want a section (unless of course I have to for the safety of the baby). I hear that things such as epidural and the type of hospital you birth in can make a difference. I can't give birth in midwife led unit sadly but still have time to choose a different hospital.

Both times I've had a local I've been quite sick afterwards. The idea of surgery of course is not one I enjoy, as I have quite a fear of it and had a bad experience with a complicated appendectomy when I was younger.

So whilst I know that a section may be necessary for safety reasons, is there anything I can do to to reduce my chances of needing one?

Never done this before or felt so out of control in my life.

TBH giving birth usually involves being sick. I threw up with every contraction with my 1st, then again when they gave me the placenta injection. My other 2 kids involved vomit, but not quite so much. All vaginal. My pelvic floor is shot to pieces.

I really wouldn’t get hung up on a ‘natural’ birth. Women used to die in childbirth, thank God for cesareans! When the time comes you’ll just really want that baby out, anyway, anyhow, any place!

@Haworthia really? That's really interesting. I've always thought the opposite about childbirth in general. That it's generally awful and painful!

Childbirth IS overrated ;) it’s a bit like concentrating on ge wedding rather than the marriage iyswim.

Of course that doesn’t mean it’s not important - women should be listened to and their wishes taken into account - a good birth is one that leaves Mum and baby physically AND psychologically intact, with consent asked for and given as needed through the process and women being in control as they can.

What you can do is to think about factors you can control and factors you can’t.

What you can’t control: how the baby presents on the day. Cochrane reviews have shown that none of the yoga positioning stuff works. If your baby is anterior and facing the right way you have a batter chance of an easier birth. How easy it is depends on your own anatomy, plus how the baby is lying and any other medical issues you or it has. That is all out of your control.

What you can control, to a point: the pain relief options you want, and your birth plan. Birth plans are not for the ‘I want to breathe it out to whale music ‘ stuff, they are for the serious stuff. So, think about:

What pain relief you want
Water birth if possible?
What happens if baby is breech before labour, will you consent to an ECV? (I wouldnt under any circumstances but you might if you want to avoid CS.)
What kind of forceps does your hospital use?
What happens if you’re in a situation where it’s high rotational forceps or CS? What would you want then? (Again no one would come near me with high rotational forceps while I have breath in my body, but your thinking could differ.)

Think and talk through these options with consultant and midwife - it’s like a flowchart - if X happens then what?

That doula statistic is bollocks btw - lower risk births tend to get attended by doulas, its correlation not causation. ;)

Hypnosis techniques are great for straightforward births. Be aware that if there is something that’s going to go wrong it will regardless of hypno and don’t blame yourself if it does. All you can do is be positive but realistic.

Best of luck, and CS honestly is fine - I had to have one for my first due to placenta and vasa previa and it was OK.

Another very positive c-section experience (well, two):

First was an emergency due to slow heartbeat - no complications, cracked breastfeeding despite crazily engorged boobs, great and quick healing. Second was planned due to breech, and was incredibly calm and lovely - again, no issues and no trouble healing or feeding.

I desperately wanted a natural birth second time around, so tried everything to turn my DD from breech - in the end, I accepted that it wasn't going to happen, and the experience of a planned section was superb.

I really hope it goes the way you want, OP, but c-sections can be very safe, calm and positive experiences (both of mine were in a hospital with very mediocre stats).

Ah I’ve just read your further responses. I’d focus on things that will help you feel you can manage the situation - hypnobirthing, doula, antenatal classes spring to mind. I found my if, then plan helpful rather than a birth plan eg if intervention is needed can I have options and explanation (unless action needs taking immediately).

I think putting energy into figuring out how you can handle anxiety with childbirth which is such a massive unknown will be most fruitful.

You won’t do any harm trying to reduce risk of emergency c section... but I was a low risk pregnancy planning on a homebirth. every medical professional who saw me missed that baby was breech until we were 36 hours in and 9cm dilated. However! They gave me the option to continue. So I could have avoided surgery. It was still a positive experience. I believe that had I gone for vaginal delivery at that point we would have ended up with episiotomy and forceps, with possible baby in distress. He was a big, long baby and I was tired. The consultant who did the surgery saw me in recovery and said she thought it was a good call to go for c section and I agreed. I understand your concern with c section may lead you to make a different choice and that’s not unreasonable. However I will make an observation that surgery turned out to be a good option in my situation, and I’m glad I made the choice I did. Had I been chasing a particular method of delivery, I’m not sure I would have had as positive an outcome. Set yourself up so that if you do need surgery, it’s as ok as it’s possible to be for you. And if you don’t, then no harm no foul! Wishing you straightforward rest of pregnancy and delivery.

I think @bowlofbabelfish sums it up very well and that’s a good list to think over. I have to say I’m in the bollocks off with forceps camp...

Keeping yourself as calm as possible and keeping oxytocin flowing is the best way to keep labour progressing naturally. For me what helped was staying home until the last minute (and home birth second time but obviously not an option here), warm baths, keeping myself quiet focusing, and a TENS machine. If things slow down using a breast pump can help speed things up.

Ultimately though, although many women are capable of natural births and I'm a big believer in people trying to achieve this if possible, things do go wrong, and interventions are sometimes needed. That is absolutely ok and doesn't mean you have failed in any way at all.

Have a look at a 'natural c-section' because this can be a really good compromise and many hospitals offer it now.

Also, don't panic! If you approach labour feeling frightened then you are more likely to have problems because your fear can interrupt the oxytocin and slow labour down. Contractions come in waves, you only need to take one at a time. If you feel you can't cope any more then you get an epidural. You'll be ok!

In my experience as an antenatal teacher:

1. Hire a doula if you can
2. Hypnobirthing
3. Avoid induction unless a medical necessity
4. Try not to have an epidural and of you can't avoid it, try not to lie recumbent or semi-recimbant. Try kneeling on bed if you can.
5. Don't be scared of ceasareans - they can be very positive experiences.
6. Buy this book....www. class="break-all" href="https://amazon.co.uk/How-Avoid-Unnecessary-Caesarean-Handbook/dp/1904750168/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ref=plSrch&keywords=avoid%20caesarean&dpPl=1&dpID=41NgHzfkojL&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&ie=UTF8&qid=1531507511&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-am-i-being-unreasonable-3305466-i-really-really-really-don-t-want-a-c-section" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazon.co.uk/How-Avoid-Unnecessary-Caesarean-Handbook/dp/1904750168/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1531507511&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=avoid+caesarean&dpPl=1&dpID=41NgHzfkojL&ref=plSrch

I was absolutely terrified at the idea of a section when I was pregnant. Like you, I have OCD and anxiety, and knew there was a really good chance of a section (twin pregnancy). I searched on here for positive only c section stories, and read and reread them. I had the choice in the end to be induced, or have an elective, and I picked c section.

They’re my first babies, (so have no vaginal birth to compare to!) but the entire experience was absolutely incredible. So calm, I was reassured completely every step of the way (good old anxiety came out and I was convinced they hadn’t put enough meds in!) and we had an army of drs, nurses and midwives, with many more rushing in because DT2 had difficulties.

I have no advice about how to avoid a section, but can only suggest reading, and talking to others who’ve had one to try to make you comfortable with the idea. Without meaning to sound patronising, by the time you reach the point of delivery, you won’t care how it happens, you’ll just be desperate to get the baby out, and for everyone to be safe and well!

Hi there OP.

Some stuff I’d recommend - i’ve had two natural births, no pain relief, no injuries, but I am not medically trained or involved in childbirth in any way:

1. Educate yourself about what a c-section would entail, and why you might need one. Don’t ignore the possibility; research and address it. Think about the adjustments which could be made in the event you’d need one (skin to skin, delayed clamping etc). You don’t need to be fearful, so spend some time really thinking about it.

1. Hypnobirthing. If you can’t do a course, buy a download track. I listened to one from about your stage onwards, every night. I always fell asleep. Practice the breathing, visualisations, and mindfulness. Some hypno coaches don’t like the word ‘pain’, and to a point if you can think of the experience as a physical compulsion, with a goal, and waves that crest and fade away, it helps a bit. But I wouldn’t ignore the fact that it is a major physical ordeal!

1. Be as fit as you can be - I recommend prenatal yoga, Pilates, or swimming. Natural births can be physically very taxing if they go on.

1. Brief your birth partner - he/she is your advocate, and will need to stand up for your needs in the face of possible opposition. Plan as much as you can, but expect to have to compromise - unexpected things will happen!

1. Focus on the end goal - a healthy baby and a healthy you. You have preferences, but you haven’t ‘failed’ if you deviate from the plan. You just adapt in the best way you can.

Good luck! FWIW I had complications in delivery due to gestational hypertension, and long hospital stays. I had panic buttons activated in my first birth, and was moved at 10cm/transition both times. DH missed my second birth entirely (due to the hospital not believing I was in labour and sending him away). However, I did hypno both times, was in my zone, chose my birthing position (though not location!) and was able to assert my needs and advocate for myself. So my births were in no way perfect, but I was prepared for that, and didn’t set myself high standards.

There was some luck involved in all of the above, I’m quite sure, but I can at least say that I had some agency, some control, and some options.

Good luck to you!

I had a natural delivery and afterwards took far longer to heal and had more complications and issues than any of my friends that had c-sections.
Very large baby with huge head caused 3rd degree tears and then issues for 11 months after birth.
I'm hindsight, it would have been far better for me to have a c-section but I was convinced and determined that natural was best.

Nothing much to add the the advice you've already had but if you're worried about being sick, ask for anti-emetics. They work wonders.

I felt similar OP. I don't have general anxiety but I do have a fear of hospitals. I did loads of research, engaged an independent midwife (as continuity of care is supposed to be a factor in avoiding CS), booked a hypnobirthing class, stayed as active as possible, etc.

My pregnancy went to shit at 28 weeks. The baby was struggling and there was an issue with blood flow through the placenta. The drs said if I could get to 36 weeks I could attempt a VB. But at 34 weeks it became too dangerous to wait and they wanted her out. I begged to try induction but the consultant thought it was too risky for the baby and refused. I ended up with a CS. The anticipation was terrible and I hated every second of it. I got through it and so did the baby. I recovered pretty well and the baby needed some nicu time but did ok.

I guess my takeaways are that you can do everything possible to avoid it but you might end up with one anyway. And if you do, you don't have to like it, just get through it. No one is expected to "enjoy" any other kind of surgery! I enjoy my life with my child. I didn't enjoy her arrival. But we've bonded fine and both got through it.

Why would people think that by saying bad things about vaginal birth makes c-section more palatable?
The best thing you can do is to choose a halthcare provider you can trust. You won’t have much choice in what kind of birth you’ll get, but you’ll have the support you need.
Hope you get the birth you want.

I was terrified of the same thing I totally understand. I chose my hospital and obstetrician with that in mind and refused an epidural and I got lucky and had the drug free birth I wanted I think it is down to luck and a supportive obstetrician though.

It's funny. I had exactly the opposite thought when I was pregnant. I didnt understand why women had to go through a natural birth when we've better options available and I desperately wanted a c section. Neither the midwife or later on,the consultant I was under for several issues would even entertain my request. (NICE guidelines anyone?)

However, when bubba was checked just before i was induced and found to be breach I was offered an elective section the next week.

I cannot say more that it was the most calm, pain free and easy experience ever,compared to some of the noises I heard night after night whilst I was on the ward. I've had no issues whatsoever and genuinely can't understand why people would prefer to put themselves through the uncertainty of labour, often with frankly horrifying stories of long labours with emergency sections after days of pain and risking both their lives. Sorry to be so blunt bit that's just my honest experience.

Everything that @NamelessEnsign has said!!

I don't like how there's so many scaremongering comments. I had a natural birth with just gas and air and you CAN do it. I read the hypnobirthing books and listened to the tracks but didn't practice it properly (wish I had done!) but more than anything it's amazing for teaching you to not be scared and to just trust in your body.

Unless like you said it's absolutely necessary you don't need a c-section. Just don't even think of it. I never even considered it an option (unless of course it was an emergency in which case you do what you have to do) You can have a birth in the way you want. Obviously have realistic expectations and allow flexibility but trust in yourself that you can do it!

Treacletoots could I ask what year did you have your baby? Did the current nice guidelines exist then?
I’m Going to request a cs for this birth and I’m so scared of being refused.

First DC not great pregnancy, vaginal birth on gas and air with huge baby.

Second DC not great pregnancy, emergency c-section under GA with small baby. Had been desperate not to have c-section, really really didn’t want one.

Recovery was slower but not a lot, I was driving at 2 weeks (emergency and had to), running at 4 weeks and totally back to normal by 6 weeks. I was very lucky with recovery but after I got over that I’d had a c-section I kept moving which they said would help. I actually trained and ran a marathon before DC2 was one despite never having done anything like that before. I also breastfed for a year and had a quicker close bond to DC2 than I did DC1.

I’d already had a vaginal birth so knew I could do it and my body knew what to do. It wasn’t meant to be second time round. My c-section was no bad thing and saved both our lives.

@starryeyed01 last year ! So yes they did. Pregnancy hormones on the whole made me scared to challenge back when I was told 'no' with a condescending look .. there's no coincidence that health care professionals on the whole.choose elective sections. I make the clear differentiation between an elective and emergency. Not the same beast.

Just anecdotal Saffron, but for what it's worth, I had a "natural" birth, an induction, an emergency C-section, and a planned one.

Of all of them, both the C-sections were absolute bliss compared to the natural births. I was pain-free, it was well-controlled with multiple staff members present, and baby got out swiftly and in good health.

Natural recovery is advertised to be far quicker, but in my experience, after the inital week post C-section, I bounced back far quicker than my vaginal births, and with far less long-term damage.

I don't think there's any right/wrong when it comes to childbirth, but I do think C-sections are somewhat unfairly demonised for the sake of an agenda that is not all about health/wellbeing of mother and child.

Best wishes whatever happens

OP I also have GAD, I can honestly say that my C Section was the best bit about my experience of birth (aside from meeting my baby obviously!)

I had a long induction & baby just wasn't moving, I'd read EVERYTHING, all the tips & advice, it didn't make a blind bit of difference. No amount of positive thinking, active labour, breathing, all the things I was supposed to do were going to make a difference to the outcome; what I will say is I would 100% opt for a C Section again, no doubt, in fact I was relieved when they said that was what was going to happen after 2 days in labour! Good luck with everything and I hope all goes well.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I do know what c section entails and do know it can be a nice experience for some but thanks for sharing nonetheless! Not so big thanks for those telling me how awful vagina birth is (you know I MIGHT ACTUALLY have a vaginal birth so the scaremongering is not appreciated!).

Just one nervous mum to be, thanks again.