I really really REALLY don't want a c-section

[SaffronSands]

More of an AIB unrealistic as opposed to AIB unreasonable.

I'm pregnant with my first. Pregnancy hasn't gone the way I wanted it to (of course we all want it to go smoothly, so far it has been far less than smooth and very, very scary).

I am desperate to have a natural birth. Absolutely do not want a section (unless of course I have to for the safety of the baby). I hear that things such as epidural and the type of hospital you birth in can make a difference. I can't give birth in midwife led unit sadly but still have time to choose a different hospital.

Both times I've had a local I've been quite sick afterwards. The idea of surgery of course is not one I enjoy, as I have quite a fear of it and had a bad experience with a complicated appendectomy when I was younger.

So whilst I know that a section may be necessary for safety reasons, is there anything I can do to to reduce my chances of needing one?

Never done this before or felt so out of control in my life.

Thanks @Carboholic I think I needed someone to point that out! I have nothing against sections and am not worried about issues surrounding failure and not bonding with my baby. I just really hate the idea of surgery and with an anxiety disorder and OCD to contend with, I feel that having a few things I can do to reduce my chances of needing a section will work wonders for my mental health in the mean time. When I am giving birth I will just do what I need to do and if that is a section then so be it!

@SaffronSands Likewise! I was pregnant at the same time as three friends and they all sailed through happy as can be with the exception of morning sickness. I had low BP and fainting for the first 14 weeks, high BP and swelling from 22 weeks on so really the middle 8 weeks was the only time I felt ok! Not being able to take any anti-anxiety medication doesn’t help either, especially when it’s such an unknown and unpredictable time. Do you have a counsellor or MH support you can lean on and talk your fears through? Especially given the sad times in your past, can your doctor refer you?

Thanks @Monr0e - I'm consultant led so thankfully I have someone extremely experienced in childbirth to bounce ideas of and ask for opinions. I'm just really quite scared of the whole thing to be honest.

@IncorrigibleTitmouse gosh, you poor thing! Yes the cold turkey off medication is not easy...

I spoke to my midwife about my mental health problems but she kind of just brushed it aside. Asked me briefly about it again and didn't mention any sort of help. I've had counsellors before but they have never worked for me. I've been on a waiting list for about 4 months for CBT but not sure when this will actually materialise...

@SaffronSands In my experience, they were so focused on the baby and physical things (which is their job, I’m not knocking them!) that fears and MH issues take a back seat. This is such a normal, commonplace thing to them that sometimes I think they forget everything is new and scary to you. I waited forever for CBT too and didn’t find it all that helpful because they only funded six sessions which wasn’t enough for me. I went through several NHS counsellors but never found one that worked well for me. In the end, it became such a high priority that I went private and paid for someone that I feel comfortable with. I only go monthly now because it’s expensive but for me it was worth it.

you cannot fail at giving birth!! It’s not a test of motherhood! It’s nothing to do with your antenatal classes or doulas or raspberry leaf or yoga or bravery or positivity or anything else but the position of the baby and the progress or not of that baby through your birth canal

You sound v. sensible. You've had a lot of responses from women who have had C-sections so I will add that I've had two vaginal deliveries, everything is exactly the same "down there" (in fact, bit TMI, but sex is 100x better since childbirth), and I have never leaked wee. I enjoyed my births.

List of things that may help, which is what you asked for:
SpinningBabies.com - click on the "menu" button and there is a list of techniques for optimal fetal positioning
Eating dates in later pregnancy - doi.org/10.1080/01443615.2017.1283304 and doi.org/10.4103/ijnmr.IJNMR_213_15
Perineal massage won't help avoid a c-section but may help avoid tearing - doi.org/10.1111/jog.13640

I think the list you posted above is American (from the use of language etc) and I suspect that in the UK, C-section rates do not vary quite so wildly between hospitals. A doula will definitely help though - the NICE guidelines advise that continuous support from a woman in labour helps reduce the likelihood of needing a CS. I would also suggest a hypnobirthing course and antenatal yoga - the yoga in particular really helped me both mentally and physically.

Good luck

I went through my first pregnancy exactly the same. I was terrified of the idea of a section. As it happened, I did have to have a EMSC after my baby (now a 9 yr old) got into distress after 72 hrs of labour.

I’ve read a lot since about the ‘cascade of intervention’. Not for a number of years now, but in the early days I was quite traumatised by it all. I felt like I’d done something wrong to ‘end up’ with a section. I remember reading that induction can lead to the need for epidural and other interventions, which increases ‘risk’ of CS. In my case, I don’t think anything I did caused my cs, nor do I think it was avoidable.

What I’d say to you know, which is what I do love to tell myself 10yrs ago, is that:

1. honestly, the actually CS is not as bad as you think. I’ve had a tooth out which was far worse. There was no pain (although if you’re anything like me, pain isn’t the issue. I’m not scared of pain, more the idea of what’s happening). I was in more control in the OR than I had been so far in the labour. It was very fast, I had so much stuff to distract me. It felt like I was there for 2 minutes.
2. embrace it as a possibility and focus on how to handle the situation once you’ve got your baby. Organise skin to skin, bf, etc according to your preferences.
3. definitely put effort into avoiding a CS, but not completely ignore the possibility of it happening. You cannot really control what happens during your labour, but you can be ‘in control’ if you’re informed on all the possibilities and prepared to ask questions.

Best of luck. FWIW, my 2nd child was born by elective section!

That wasn’t directed at you op but in general. You talk to your HCP and honestly sometimes in life things you dread are actually quite bearable

Sorry about all the typos...predictive text thing on my iPad that I can’t control. Now, not know, what i’d love, not what I do love, and other annoyingl mistakes.

I had an emergency section with my dd and am hoping for an elective section this time. It wasn't what I would have chosen first time but needs must and you will ultimately do whatever needs to be done to deliver your baby safely - c section or not.
I would say have an idea of what you would like but be open that things change. I didn't want an epidural last time but had said all along that if I needed one, I would absolutely have one.
My c section, although I was scared at the time, was actually a very positive experience. You are still able to do immediate skin to skin and baby was breast feeding within minutes of being born. And if you have to have a c section with this baby you can absolutely chose to have a vaginal birth next time if that's what you want.

@Blushah 2 csections here and I also pee when I sneeze

@fixingabrokenhesrt no experience of any child birth here but also pee when I sneeze and have been told I may continue to do so regardless of what type of birth I have argh!

I’ve had a drug free water birth and a caesarean, and I’d rather have ten caesareans than experience one minute of active labour.

I found natural birth VERY overrated.

@Haworthia overrated? That's such a strange way to refer to childbirth! If you don't mind me saying...

What is it about the idea of a section that scares you so much? Is it surgery itself? Recovery times? Needles? If you can break it down and figure out step by step what the process is, how you feel about it and how best to handle it you will be much better prepared for the possibility.

Around a quarter of woman in the UK have sections, which means around three quarters don't, hopefully you will be one of the three quarters

OP I felt exactly the same - I read every natural birth, hypnobirth book and did pregnancy yoga, NCT, the works. My DD had other ideas. She was transverse at 38 weeks so I had to stay in hospital for 2 weeks then have a C section. I was gutted but it wasn't too bad - I recovered well, DD was perfect and I breast fed her for 2 years. I chose to have another CS for DS last year. It's amazing how your perspective changes. Try to keep an open mind and not let the stress and worry overshadow your pregnancy

I always said NO but both labours in the thick of it I have agreed to them, both times I had natural births in the end (by the skin of my teeth the second time, they were about 3mins away from wheeling me out) but in the throes of an emergency side effects or recovery aren't at the forefront of your mind when your baby starts to go into distress.

@Haworthia overrated? That's such a strange way to refer to childbirth! If you don't mind me saying

I didn’t say childbirth was overrated, I said natural childbirth was overrated. Like a lot of women pregnant for the first time, I’d swallowed the idea that drug free (preferably) water births were the gold standard of birth, so wonderful and empowering, yadda yadda. Then I experienced it and found the whole thing very overrated indeed.

I have only had one and it was a planned c-section due to a huge fibroid. Other mums in RL imho only discuss the reality of birth with you after you’ve had your baby.
At the end of the day it’s another human being leaving your body, so it’s not going to be all scented candles and breeeaathe baby out.

Just trust that modern medicine will do what is right for yours & the baby’s safety first and foremost. Once your baby is born, you will be so caught up in the whirlwind of new motherhood that you won’t really think about how s/he arrived.

Mmmm if men gave birth there would be none of this drug free meditation bollocks!

Haworthia sgree with you. Giving birth is generally messy painful and shocking.

I don’t think flossing over the fact helps first thing mums because they then feel if they need drugs etc they have somehow failed it’s craxy

I had both mine at 37 weeks and both were c-sections. It may not be your ideal, but please believe that C-sections can be just as lovely and beautiful as 'natural' birth. You can't see any of the stuff that goes on and your consultant (if it happened) may be as lovely as mine and sit and hold your hand while the anaesthetist is putting the drugs in. They put a shield up so you can't see what's going on and you can have skin to skin just the same as after a vag birth. you can't see or feel anything. I know nothing can make you feel differently and I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, but it genuinely isn't the worst thing in the world to have a CS. I lost IVF twins late in pregnancy before I had DD1 and I was terrified about everything to do with the whole pg all the way through. The birth was one of those things I was utterly paranoid about but it was lovely, despite being an emergency CS.

I had an emergency caesarean before labour had started and surprisingly I really enjoyed the experience. It was completely pain free, my partner and I joked and chatted throughout it and got more and more excited about the baby coming. Afterwards I got to stay in hospital for a few days which I found comforting as I was clueless about how to look after a baby and I got taught to breastfeed and other help from the nurses. The recovery was very quick. I understand you have a fear of surgery, but I would say it seemed a lot less stressful and painful than natural labour. Best of luck whatever happens

There are things you can do to help you to be in as good a place as possible before the birth and reduce your anxiety. Hypnobirthing is a big one - you can sign up for a class or just buy a book with a CD. Have a read or positive birth stories online and watch some YouTube videos of hypnobirths.

They really won't give you a C-section unless you really need one. They pushed (pardon the pun) a vag birth with my second to the point of almost doing us both serious damage.
Having had vag birth and an emcs (consultant led with both, serious complications with the second) they both have pluses and minuses. My recovery from my emcs was fantastic, the experience was wonderful and I actually preferred it birth-wise. Downside was scar and I had a cold when I gave birth which developed into a cough and a cough post C-section was awful!!! I was up and around really quickly though and outside the cough the pain was minimal. Obviously a vag birth is best in most circumstances, but seriously don't worry about a C-section. They can be a really positive experience.