To have breastfed one but not do with the other?

[Wellthisunexpected]

I breastfed DS for 2 years. I had not physical issues with feeding, it came easily to me. But he would not, under any circumstances take a bottle and my milk was high lipase so didn't last well when expressed.

But despite this, I hated every second of feeding. I was touched out, never got a break (he was only ever consoled by the boob and fed every 45-90 minutes for 4 months, then every 90 until 8 months) and had nursing aversion. I think this and the lack of sleep really caused my PND.

I am expecting number 2 and have no intention of bfing this one. I may do the first few days until my milk comes in but that's it. I just don't want a situation where this one won't take a bottle. But I just feel so guilty! Seems like I'm favouring one over the other! But I know deep down that if DS had taken a bottle I'd have switched anyway. Urgh. WWYD?

You had a fairly extreme situation with a bottle refuser for two years.

There’s a middle way. We introduced at 6 weeks. Both mine were interchangeable with breast and bottle consequently.

It may not go down well but I do think you should try for more than just first few days considering your first had two years

If you don't want to breastfeed then don't. It's as simple as that.

I'm all in favour of breast feeding, but it's definitely the case that some bf babies simply can't be persuaded to take the bottle. After your precious experience YWNBU to bottle feed from the start.

Up to you. Either do bottle or combine feed using formula. I hate this all or nothing approach.

I think it’s a totally legitimate reason reason to not tbh.

In fact, I think ‘I just don’t want to’ is a totally legitimate reason not to.

I introduced a bottle at 4 weeks with dd1 so that I could pass the feeding to others when needed. She was a good feeder and sleeper so we didn’t use it much which meant when we did it was a bit of a battle but it was possible. I’m pg again and planning on introducing at 4 weeks again and being a bit more diligent with regular bottles so that the baby is used to them when they are needed.

It is possible to have it both ways in my experience/opinion. Also you could also feed for 6 months or so and then stop - many women go back to work at this point so it’s sureky possible. If they won’t take a bottle then a cup would be fine.

If it makes you miserable then don’t do it but I think it’s worth trying mixes feeding again.

Caribbeanyesplease we introduced one at 6 weeks and initially he took it, then just off me, then not at all. I'd have ideally mix fed, but it wasn't possible. We really persevered, and even my mum took him for several hours and he refused the whole time.

If I could guarantee this one would mix feed I'd do it, but it was so hideous with DS I couldn't face that again.

Feed your baby how you are most comfortable i dont believe there is a right or a wrong, however my mum had this issue with my brother so from birth i had one a bottle a day and breast fed the rest which meant she could have a break if she needed one. I did the same when i had dd, it worked great for me too. It doesn't have to be all or nothing but still doing what ever you feel comfortable doing and will find least stressful is the most important thing i think.

Allthewaves we attempted mixed feeding with DS, it was the goal but wouldn't work. I think people who assume everyone can mix feed have never met a bottle refuser.

And when I say tried, I don't mean once or twice. I mean for 9 months.

Crossed posts sorry. I suppose you just have to have fingers crossed mixes feeding is better this time. I’d also introduce a bottle much earlier. The only reason to delay introducing is if it interferes with breast feeding which you’ve already said you’re happy with.

We also tried cup/spoon feeding milk (formula and expressed) and it had the same the result.

My first was an outright bottle refuser, we tried everything as you did and he wasn't having it.
Second child wasn't fussed and would happily switch between breast and bottle from 3 weeks. I think it's all child dependant and you could have another refuser or have one happy to do both or one that prefers the bottle. You won't really know until the time but if you don't want to then that's a good enough reason not to.

Sounds fair. I had a horrid experience with DS. I vowed not to with DD. Did a few colostrum/early milk feeds as bonus feeds in the early days but I was happy to do it as it was a bonus not an obligation.

I also discovered on the NHS website prior to her birth that infants can take their formula milk chilled or room temp from the beginning and it does no harm. I got a few of the premade ones for the first week or so and left them at room temp before opening the seal. Later on when I started using powder i made up the formula with boiled water, flash-cooled it from hot and straight into back of the fridge, and served chilled. She was perfectly happy.

Mine were all bottle refusers (4 of them). They would play with it or bite the end off. We moved straight onto cows milk at a year, from a cup. They were down to 2 feeds a day though and water from a cup in between. I would work on making sure you introduce solids as soon as it is healthy, then the baby is less likely to be using you as a main source of food for so long. I fed all of them for between a year and 18mths.

Six weeks is too late to try a bottle. Try between 2-3 weeks.

But up to you if you don't want to bf.

I think you should do what's right for you.

All I would say is that all babies are different and you may not face the same situation (though I can understand you're worried about doing so).

I'd try and keep an open mind with a view to mixed feeding and see how it goes, but when all is said an done a happy, rested (as they can be) mum is more important to a newborn as breastmilk (especially if you've passed on the colostrum).

I'd try mix feeding from the beginning in your case.

Ds3 had one ff a day from 3 days old and still bfs now at 14 months.

@Sheeparemyfriends he was great eater from 6 months and took water from a cup very well and happily, he was just a total boob monster.

I went back to work at 12 months and he happily had water, food and cows milk at nursery and at home, but was still desperate for boob when he got home. We also night weaned at 14months and he was fine with that, but am and pm he wanted boob. I stopped at 2 years because I just couldn't stand it any more, he's 2.5 now and hasn't had any for almost 7 months. He still asks for it.

I have had 2 BF bottle refusers and I found it soul destroying. I’m pregnant with number 3 and still debating how to feed this one!

Yanbu. Feed your baby how you like. When your second is 2, you won’t be able to tell any difference in your children.

I agree with others who have said - don’t do what you don’t want to do. My sister had a similar experience with her DS. When I was pregnant with my DS, I asked if she had a single piece of advice. She said ‘don’t bf if you don’t want to.’
In the end, I combination fed my DS for a long time. I actually found it really good, he took a bottle very early, and it took a lot of the pressure away with bf, so I found a rhythm where I would bf him first thing, during the afternoons, and last thing, and I supplemented with formula around that. I stopped bfing when I started weaning him at 6 months. So I think it’s possible to do both if you want to. Enjoy it though, and don’t feel guilty.

Yadnbu.

Do what you want. Don't feel that you have to do any feeds at all, if you prefer not to. No need to do feeds until your milk comes in, probably easier not to stimulate your milk supply and just go straight to formula from birth.

No one is ever being U to not BF for any reason or no reason at all. Your breasts, your choice.