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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that yr3 is not too young for sex education?

114 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 11/07/2018 20:27

Obvs age appropriate. Another mum is DS2's class was outraged that her DS had to hear such things as he is so innocent and naive.

I am quite happy with it as tbh he has heard all of this already from his older brother. FWIW the boy in question also has an older sister so chances are he knows too.

But AIBU? There seems to be a difference of opinion in RL!

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 11/07/2018 21:05

Its definitely not too young and age appropriate consent education should be under way well before this.

Its basic biology and with the amount of disinformation children get the sooner they get proper, factual, information the better. You don't keep children "innocent" by keeping them ignorant.

countingkids123 · 11/07/2018 21:05

Sex Ed in yr3 at our school is a video of kittens giving birth. I know because they’ve watched this video this week and I asked their teacher what would be covered so I was prepared to answer DS’s questions if any arose. Pretty tame really for a bunch of 7 & 8 year olds. More detail heading their way next year.

user1499173618 · 11/07/2018 21:05

I bought DD a great DVD that explained everything about making babies in lots of scientific detail but in a child friendly way. We watched it together and she then chose to watch it several times. She was about 5 or 6.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 11/07/2018 21:06

Being knowledgable about a completely natural process doesn’t rob kids of their childhood you know...

I’m not sure what people think will happen to their kids if they know what a penis is for?

I asked my 10 year old DS the other day, as I was sure he knew, but sex Ed was coming up so I wanted to check. He knows it all... puberty, sex, babies, periods. He’s always known so there’s never been a ‘big reveal’. Why wouldn’t you just answer questions as they happen?

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 11/07/2018 21:09

My eldest DC is Y3 and has had zero sex education. I might speak to the school actually. It never crossed my mind because we talk very openly at home, they know all about it: mechanics, emotion, consequences, consent, body ownership. In an age appropriate fashion of course. It never even occured to me that school-based sex education at this age could be thing. I'm totally for it.

upsideup · 11/07/2018 21:09

I'm guessing the people who think its too young only have the one child?
Otherwise what did you say when your kids ask how the baby got in your tummy and how is the baby going to get out?

rwalker · 11/07/2018 21:09

it's building a base level of understanding very very basic really just about naming the parts not a full on graphic description of full on sex . If they were that bothered they could of gone in and there child did not have to attend the lesson .

PellyBay · 11/07/2018 21:10

Start with the "who has what" stuff when they're 2 or 3 ... answer all questions honestly, but don't give any more information than they're asking for until they're asking for that information, iyswim.

My 4 year old & 6 year know the facts of life because they watched me being pregnant with their brother and wanted to know why he was in there, how he got in there and how he'd get out... I told them the truth but keep my answers very short, they didn't seem especially surprised and didn't ask for any further details... it either didn't seem that or relevant or that interesting to them at the moment, so they've either forgotten or taken it in their stride.

I'm happy with that - I don't want to overload them with too much information too early, but at the same time I don't want it to be this big mystery that arrives as whispers in the playground before they've got the facts straight.

bellinisurge · 11/07/2018 21:11

@upsideup - I only have one and I don't think it's too young. As I have already said , should already be an age appropriate conversation going on.

haribosmarties · 11/07/2018 21:12

of course its not too young. Not telling kids about sex doesnt protect them it leaves them even more vulnerable to abuse because they simply wont have a clue what is going on or how to talk about it or what is and what isnt appropriate behaviour towards them or from them. The more taboo it is and the more adults act like its something mysterious and only for adults to know about the less likely children are going to come to you and talk frankly about any concerns and problems they have. They will be more likely to turn to things like porn or the dubious knowledge of other children for information.

NoKnit · 11/07/2018 21:16

In Germany kids are taught this in 1St or 2nd year of school so around 7 years of age, maybe 8. There is no option to exclude your child and everything is taught in a factual way. End of.

I am not certain but I think Germany has lowest teen pregnancy rates in Europe, certainly lower than UK anyway.

Do people really believe that them knowing at that age means they are going to do it?

Actually quite fascinated by the replies here about age appropriate etc

museumum · 11/07/2018 21:16

When kids learn about genocide rape serial killers torture and the holocaust. That’s the end of innocence.

Not when they learn how babies are made 🙄

emwithme · 11/07/2018 21:16

I'm 41 and we had sex ed at school in y4 (I think? Second year juniors anyway). It was v basic, naming body parts accurately, changes that will soon be happening to our bodies, how a baby is made.

Now that puberty is starting earlier, I think that moving it to y3 would be sensible (only one girl had started her periods while I was in junior school, now it seems quite common)

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/07/2018 21:18

I don't think it's too young, as long as it's explained in the right way. I remember being very frustrated after asking my mother how come a neighbour's son looked exactly like his father, when the baby grew from an egg inside the mother? She wouldn't tell me - this was many decades ago - presumably she found it too embarrassing.

A friend's dd at 8, asked her - while friend was peeling potatoes! - whether it was true that to get a baby, the dad put his willy, etc. etc.

Friend thought Oh Lord, but answered, ' Well, yes, it is.'
'Oh.' (Brief silence.). 'Did you and Daddy do that to get me?'

'Well, yes, we did.'
'Oh.' (Brief silence.). 'YEEEEUUURRCH! 😄

Itchytights · 11/07/2018 21:18

My eldest is seven.

Of course it’s too young.

Kids of five knowing about sperm and willies...

Let them be children. Please.

ShockShockShock

NataliaOsipova · 11/07/2018 21:20

A male friend of mine was shocked that my DDs knew about sex and reproduction. In the end, he came round to my view that it's better to be be straightforward about these matters. "Better than the way Qi found out", he added. "How was that?", I asked. Answer? "From another kid in the playground with a copy of Razzle." Quite....

BertrandRussell · 11/07/2018 21:21

"Let them be children. Please"
I really don't understand this. Why does knowing how bodies work stop them being children?

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 11/07/2018 21:24

How is knowing about sex not letting them be children?

InDubiousBattle · 11/07/2018 21:26

Itchy do your children have genitals? I'm genuinely interested in what you tell them they're called and what they're for. What do you actually say when they ask where babies come from? Just lie randomly? How does that help them to remain children?

upsideup · 11/07/2018 21:27

Let them be children. Please.

I can assure you my children who know what sex is are still very much children.
Happy children who will never have to hear something they dont understand and thats not true on the playground that upsets or confuses them, won't ever have to experiance something natural and normal happen to their body that scares them and always feel they can come to me and ask questions because they know I answer them.

Getoffthetableplease · 11/07/2018 21:27

It's not too young at all. We've always been open about most things here (periods, body hair etc) and there was a brief sex in very basic age appropriate talk when I was pregnant and eldest was 5. I helped out on a school trip recently and heard a couple of kids on the coach (age 7) sniggering about sex and it made me immediately want to have more of a talk with my 7 year old so he's not hearing things passed from school mates no doubt originating from older siblings! I have bought www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0785PCRNM/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21 and it looks really good. I'd much rather it all wasn't some mysterious unknown that my son only heard about through peers.

GorgonLondon · 11/07/2018 21:29

I agree with napqueen about it being an ongoing conversation. My kids are 4 and 8. We talk about 'naked cuddles' and they have an idea about an egg and seed. But we don't bang on about it, we answer their questions when they ask them, but don't go into loads of detail unless they ask further questions. It's just a natural part of life, isn't it?

I agree with the poster who says that learning about the Holocaust etc is far more appalling and destructive of innocence. Sex is or should be a positive thing!

Flobalob · 11/07/2018 21:31

Seeing as there are at least 4 girls started puberty already in year 4 then, yes, late year 3/early year 4 is age appropriate.

What is actually shocking is how young kids are starting puberty now compared to when I was a kid ie one girl with boobs in year 6, nobody else.

My two kids have had BO since age 6 and 7 and I definitely didn't have it until about age 12, periods started age 14.5.

MarthasGinYard · 11/07/2018 21:31

Yabu IMO

But I guess it depends on child/setting

It's not taught in dc school I'm Y3 and I'm happy with that.

LittleDoritt · 11/07/2018 21:31

My eldest is going in to year 3 in September and hasn't a clue about sex. I always said I would be completely frank and open with her - but she has no interest in the topic at all and has never asked me a single question. It didn't occur to her even when I was pregnant with her sister. I feel really awkward now that we are going to have to have "The Talk" because she's just so oblivious to the whole notion.