I feel like a total failure..can't drive ...advice please

[pippaharriden43]

I'm 32 and I passed my driving test at 22.
First time with 1 fault (no clue how)
I drove for a month and couldn't do it.
I was a nervous wreck,I rolled back on hills,stalled etc.
I gave up.
Three months ago I started taking auto refresher lessons.
After 10 lessons I felt good.
Yesterday I bought a car ..it's a multi mode car.
No clutch pedal so no worry of staling.
I would drive it fully auto.
I drove home yesterday and first thing I did was nearly crash into parked car..my instructors car you had to put your foot down to get it moving and my brain thought this would be the same.
Luckily I didn't hit it and managed to drive home (only 15 mins)
Now I'm terrified again that I won't be able to learn how much gas I need to give it etc and worrying il roll back on a hill etc.
I wish I wasn't like this,I love my new little car.
It's only a 1litre engine.
Any tips would be great and if anyone can tell me if I'm on a small hill with a roundabout ..how I move off without rolling back?

Maybe you should arrange a couple of lessons with your instructor, in your car. It might help build your confidence after the change.

Could you book a couple of driving lessons in your own car to get your confidence up?

If it's an automatic then moving forward on a hill should just be a case of pressing the accelerator but I don't know the specifics of your car obviously. I would find a nice quiet area and an instructor and have a few practices to get your confidence up.

If it's an automatic you need to make sure you press the break fully and it shouldn't roll when you start again. Is there anywhere you can practice with minimal to no traffic? You just need to get your confidence up.

Having passed my test relatively recently (I'm 31) on my second try and after years of putting it off due to high anxiety over it, I'd say: practise, practise, practise.

Seriously.

Between the time not having a car because we couldn't afford one and then not having one because we bought one and it broke I've only been actually driving maybe three weeks. I already feel a lot more confident than I did to start with.

I mean, a LOT more confident.

I'm still occasionally stalling and struggling a bit with parking in tight spaces (it's a big car) and I put a hole in the side the first time I tried to reverse onto the drive.

But I'm getting there and it's worth it for the freedom it's brought.

You just have to keep forcing yourself until you feel more confident.

I can't help with questions about how to drive an automatic, though, I'm afraid.

My instructor won't give me lessons in my own car,only hers.
Which wouldn't be any good for me.
I was thinking Sunday morning going out about 7 am and just go to a trading estate first and practicing starting and stopping and how much I need to press the pedals etc.
I wish I didn't worry so much

I think there's a chance I might be over thinking.

Please get some lessons with an instructor, you did so well on your test! Well done!! You just need practice everyone forgets if they haven’t used it

IT sounds to me that you have anxiety about driving, you should refer yourself for CBT. I loved driving then I had a series of accidents close together and had to go for psychological counselling. I was fine for years then last year I had a very minimal nothing bump at a supermarket and since then have catastrophised every situation and as a result have not been able to drive. I started cognitive behavioural therapy a few months ago and I am starting to cope better

Can you do a pass plus course in your own car?

Find a new instructor and have some lessons in your car.

If you still cant drive then don't feel like a failure. Its a specific skill set and not everyone can do it safely. I can ride a horse and a motorbike, and I cant drive a car to save my life.

I've had v similar situation. Had a break from driving after passing my test, once I did start I absolutely hated it, just the thought of having to drive and knowing that I would need to do a 5 min trip would ruin my day. I rolled back on hills, stalled etc etc

Give yourself time and don't give up. It's scary but you have to force yourself to do it to make yourself feel better about it.

Take a friend with you to practise on hills when it's quiet and look online about situations you're scared of and how to handle them. Even if you know how it can still be reassuring to hear some practical advice.

Keep up with it and you'll get comfortable! Best of luck!

generally, everyone takes some time to get used to a new car

You're not a failure! Sounds like you're doing really well! I'd second finding a driving instructor who will go with you in your car, but getting out at a quiet time is a great idea too. Once you're used to driving your car, you'll find it much easier to know how much to press the pedals and so on...

Stop overthinking, just go and good luck! :)

Oh sweetheart. I bet you are a much better driver than what you give yourself credit for.
Getting used to a new car - especially an auto when you've driven a manual - is always tricky.
I've driven for years and have a 70 mile round trip commute on the A1 and city centre. I'm a confident driver. But I was really scared when picking up my new car - my first auto.
Honestly, just take it out on a trading estate like you suggest and try out hill starts etc.
What type of car is it? Does it have an electric parking brake or a normal hand brake? If you're ever unsure about rolling backwards remember you can always apply the hand brake. Then give the gas a little press before taking it off. If you practice this a bit you'll find the sweet spot.
If it's a new ish car it may have hill holder too which means it will not roll back on hills.

I did write the above in paragraphs but they haven't formatted correctly for some reason :-/

I passed at 31 on 5th attempt in an automatic! I remember nearly crashing while trying to park right after I passed and took ages to build confidence but I agree you just need to practice practice practice ... I'm still not THE most confident driver but way better and more relaxed than I used to be and it's just driving daily (even just short distances and build up) that's helped. I also don't let myself be rushed, park if possible where there is plenty of space etc. It will get easier!

Oh my goodness, you've only just started up again, give yourself a chance. You just need to practice as much as you can. Going out early to build up your confidence again is a great idea and once you get to know the car it will become automatic to you.
Please don't give yourself a hard time when most people take a few weeks to get used to driving a new car no matter how long they've been driving for.

It's like anything, it takes practice.
You will do it!
Early Sunday morning on a trading estate sounds like the perfect plan.
If it's anything like my older Citroen with a tip tronics (sp?) gearbox then the accelerator works as kind of a clutch.
Left foot on the brake. Right foot on the accelerator, then slowly push down with the gas and off with the brake (slowly).

Some cars you can find a kind of 'biting point' on the accelerator.

You'll get there - I passed my test first time but have always hated driving (I barely bother). We then went to an automatic which was better and I now drive an electric car which is lovely, but still prefer not to drive.

Depending on the model of the car, it may have start-stop so as long as you press the brake to stop fully, it will cut out and hold on a hill for a second or two when you accelerate. You just have to get used to what the car does.

The best thing is just to go out when it is quiet and practice. Do you like football? If not, take the car out partway through an England game and the roads should be nice and quiet to practice on!

What type of car is it?

Most automatics will roll without applying any pressure on the accelerator, unless it has an "auto hold" facility. That AH can normally be switched on/off as you want it.

I have a BMW which doesn't have auto hold but does have "hill hold", so you can move your foot from the brake to the accelerator without the car rolling backwards.

The best thing about auto hold (which my car doesn't have!) is that you can remove your foot from the brake at traffic lights.

Whatever car it is, don't panic! Your idea of going out when it's quiet is fab. You can go out really early on a Sunday or late of an evening as it's so light at the moment (assuming you're in the UK). Practice, practice, practice!

I've been driving an auto for 6 months now and I still have days where I try and find the clutch pedal. It takes time to get used to a new car, let alone when it's effectively the first car change you've ever had.

Oh, and read the user manual that came with the car. This normally gives you instructions on how hill starts should be done if it's anything unusual.

I've been confidently driving for over 10 years but still turn to sh*t when I drive a new car! Especially when switching from manual to automatic and also an electric vehicle! It's just a case of getting used to it x

If your instructor won't do this in your car please find another who will. Ask around/post on community group or whatever to find one who will. It's a common request for driving instructors.

I shit myself at first, took about 3 months to feel safe and 6 to feel confident ( including some big cross country drives) to feel confident.
You've just got to push through it!

Been out tonight and didn't feel safe.
Really annoyed at myself for buying a semi auto instead of a auto.
It rolls back and is really jerky.
It's a Yaris multi mode and the reviews are dreadful ..my instructor says they have a common fault .
Think il wait for my logbook then sell it and buy a full auto.