To think that if they can't be bothered to invite us maybe we shouldn't bother going?

[sharkirasharkira]

Dp and I have 2 friends who are getting married very soon. It's been a bit of a whirlwind romance so the whole thing is being done very quickly and on a small budget. All fine.

The wedding is on a weekday morning, with a reception in the evening, meaning Dp and I have to take a whole day off to attend. We don't have to take annual leave but do have to swap days around with colleagues to make it work, especially due to the short notice.

Dp asked if we were going and I said I didn't know because we hadn't been 'officially' invited by either of them - not just no paper invite, (which is fair enough as they are on a budget) but neither of them have even bothered to get in touch directly to ask us. We found out the details (time, etc) and that we are indeed invited, through another friend who is also going.

Aibu to think that if they can't be arsed to even text/phone/fb us to ask us to come they can't be that fussed if we aren't there? I'm just wondering if it's worth going to the effort - I do like to make an effort with these things and would have bought a nice card/gift but I'm really short on money at the moment and the thought of spending what little I have on someone who didn't even make an effort to invite me is irking me a bit. It feels a bit rude to turn up with nothing

Aibu?

Op I would skip it, if the bride and groom themselves don't give you a verbal or written invite then it's best to take it as your haven't been invited.

I wouldn't go to a wedding just because a friend said i was invited, can you imagine if you get there and find out you weren't invited

On top of that you and she have to miss a days work each (both lose a days wages)..I imagine you would both have to get new outfits etc and you might want your hair doing...then there is the gift...the cost of travelling to the wedding and function of they are far away....it soon adds up...you probably had a lucky escape, just wish them well and send them.a congratulations card and gift of you want to after the wedding

Jeez! if you don't want to go to the wedding just tell them rather than overthink the whole thing into a million knots. I have a feeling you wouldn't have bothered posting this if the wedding in question was at the weekend.

Ffs, the groom invited you by phone. You're invited, go or decline. What ridiculous nonsense was that all about in the op. Worst drip feed ever, literally. Op: "we haven’t been invited, shall we not go?" Everyone: "of course don't go, you're not invited". Op: "OK, we were actually invited though, directly by the groom". Everyone: wtf?!

I was going to say It sounds like you haven’t actually been invited, so why worry about the logistics?

But then you say you’ve had a message with all the details.

Two options, go, or don’t. Not my problem, not sure why you’re asking anyone for advice!

Actually if the wedding was at the weekend I definitely wouldn't be able to go as I work weekends. So it wouldn't be an issue

Just to clarify a small detail - no one has phoned anyone. It was all done by text/fb messenger. Dp didn't phone the groom or visa versa. Don't know why people keep assuming there were phone calls involved!

FFS. You have been invited. Go. Don't go. No one cares.

neither of them have even bothered to get in touch directly to ask us

But the groom did get in touch with you?

Go and have a nice time, or don't and stop worrying about it.

Fair enough, tbh I was a grumpy bitch due to lack of sleep when I posted. I probably Abu.

You are invited, but they are acting strange and don't sound like great friends so if you don't want to go then don't!

Sounds like they are very laidback and a bit disorganised, but you have clearly been invited. It would annoy me too OP

Well, it looks like you have been invited doesn't it? [

To be fair to the OP in MN terms she hasn't had a proper wedding invitation.

No cringey poem asking for money
No demand to fly to Maui at own expense
No dress code
No request to decorate the venue

I can see why she's had to think up a bit of drama , I mean a MN wedding isn't legal without a misunderstanding/miscommunication/ bridal hissy fit /offence taken.

If you don’t want to go then don’t go. The end.

I can understand your situation, my DH has family like this when there has been a occasion but we have been invited by 3rd party it is a bit lazy way to invite tbh and one time 3rd party forgot to invite us but blamed the host , (communication problem) which I think this ispossibly 3rd party was supposed to give you details but didn't so groom sent text with details.
I would take this as invite. They are obviously doing things low key .
I'd go enjioy it, weddings are always good fun.

So you have been invited then.... what's the point of this post

I wouldn't go.

I wouldn't inconvenience my colleagues and spend what little money I had for a half arsed invite to people who don't really speak to me and where one has actually been horrible to me. Life is too short.