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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why they didn't stop

44 replies

cjferg · 10/07/2018 16:23

I was walking along a path this afternoon and came across this man on his hands and knees with blood dribbling all over his face and hands.

I stopped to ask if he needed help without thinking and he told me that a few people had already walked past without stopping. Turned out he hadn't eaten or drunk anything for days and so when he stumbled he couldn't get his hands out in time.

Can't help thinking that the people who walked past were just judgy pricks who were delighted to be nosy but too selfish to stop or phone an ambulance.

OP posts:
sonlypuppyfat · 10/07/2018 16:24

People are too frightened to get involved

bellinisurge · 10/07/2018 16:33

Maybe he scared them. Maybe they didn't see him in a well populated area. If it were me I would probably call from a distance to ask if the person was ok.

KneesupGaston · 10/07/2018 16:37

I wouldn't have thought twice before having kids, now i would of course still stop and ring for help but wouldn't be as keen to get up and personal with a blood soaked person carrying unknown diseases.

longwayoff · 10/07/2018 16:39

So did u help him?

MissionItsPossible · 10/07/2018 16:39

I wouldn't stop either. I've been attacked by some right nutters and will never intervene after trying to stop a woman getting beat up by her boyfriend when they both turned on me and left me unconsious and with a broken nose.

To be honest, round these parts, anybody crawling around with blood on them are most likely to be druggies. So no, I wouldn't.

Racecardriver · 10/07/2018 16:47

Well they probably either didn't notice it were too frightened to get involved.

hazell42 · 10/07/2018 16:49

Even druggies need help sometimes.
I have stopped before and would again.
I've even stopped for druggies

OfaFrenchmind2 · 10/07/2018 16:52

Of two minds here. In the London underground I stopped to give a bleeding maybe drunk man tissues and a bottle of water, because there was plenty of people to turn to if he decided to flip.
On a path with less people, sorry, my safety comes first.

Rosie342 · 10/07/2018 16:53

People are too wrapped up in themselves lately to notice or care about others. People can also be scared, I'm glad you stopped I would have too. I hope the man gets better

honeyishrunkthekid · 10/07/2018 16:58

I think you're over thinking.
You've decided they're nosy and judgey with nothing to back it up.

Maybe they had their own reasons- late for school pick up, family emergency, have tried to help someone before and it backfired.

Well done for stopping, you helped someone. That doesn't give you the right to judge everyone else

Mousefunky · 10/07/2018 17:01

I was with my DC a few weeks ago when we saw a woman in a similar predicament. I called an ambulance for her but kept my distance because I have children to protect and I had no idea whether she could turn or not.

ElementalHalfLife · 10/07/2018 17:07

I get some people not stopping out of a fear for their personal safety or not wanting to get involved but seriously, if someone's obviously bleeding having fallen on the ground, given everyone has a bloody phone these days why wouldn't you at the very least call emergency services to get the poor bastard some assistance?

Well done OP, too many people just walk on by these days and going by some of the replies on this thread very few of them have more than a pathetic excuse for why.

PinkHeart5914 · 10/07/2018 17:07

That is terrible. Even if people didn’t want stop and talk to him they could of phoned for help surely? Would of taken a few minutes to call 999 from a distance and say an injured man was at x location

Let’s hope one day when they need help someone has the heart to at least call help for them

GerdaLovesLili · 10/07/2018 17:09

I have been a person that did not stop in the past. I did however, keep an eye on the person and call an ambulance. Where I live stopping might prove to be a very bad mistake, especially with a small child in-tow.

steff13 · 10/07/2018 17:13

You were not unreasonable to stop and help, but you are unreasonable to decide that the people who had already walked past were nosy or judgmental. If he's been days without water, especially if it's been hot, I'd be skeptical of his memory, anyway.

MikeWyzowski · 10/07/2018 17:16

I live in a country town with a population of 15,000. My 7 year old daughter was involved in an accident and was knocked unconscious (and broke her arm), i had her younger brother with me. People stood and watched the accident and then me try and deal with them. I was in shock and didn't know how to handle the situation (I thought dd was much more seriously injured) and never thought to call an ambulance. I picked her up, and tried to hang onto her brother while I put them both in the car and drove them to the nearest GP. Not one of the gawpers (all with children) offered help, advice or even spoke to me. It was awful and I will always jump in to help people since.

I suppose people are afraid of getting involved but to not help a young mother with two children is appallingly bad form.

Original poster
cjferg · 10/07/2018 17:21

I didn't need to get up close and personal to help. My phone was even out of battery but I stayed with him and asked the next person along and gave him something to wipe his face on.

If the multiple people walking past all had somewhere super important they had to be then fair enough but I highly doubt that.

OP posts:
Original poster
cjferg · 10/07/2018 17:22

I did think he might be drunk but that makes no difference.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 10/07/2018 17:23

Why hadn't he eaten or drank for days?

Original poster
cjferg · 10/07/2018 17:27

Why hadn't he eaten or drank for days?

He was depressed after getting divorced and didn't have any motivation.

OP posts:
CtrlCandCtrlV · 10/07/2018 17:27

Can't help thinking that the people who walked past were just judgy pricks who were delighted to be nosy
you just said they didn't stop, how is that being nosy?

You on the other hand can post your amazing act of bravery on your local facebook group congratulating yourself for being so fantastic. Well done hun.

GruffaIo · 10/07/2018 17:30

Not unreasonable to wonder why others didn't stop.

Unreasonable to judge anyone for not stopping.

SlugsyMalone · 10/07/2018 17:32

I had a similar experience to you @MikeWyzowski about 10 years ago when my toddler ds tripped down a flight of stairs in a busy town and I had a newborn and a 4 year old with me. we were ignored by lots of passers by, poor ds was bleeding everywhere, no one stopped to help. Really shook my faith in humanity for a long time. I don’t think that can have been out of corncern for their own safety! They definitely saw us as we were blocking the stairs and they had to manoeuvre round us and step over the blood, one woman even tutted at me Angry. I hope your daughter’s arm recovered ok. Well done OP for helping that poor man Flowers

SlugsyMalone · 10/07/2018 17:33

*concern

oldsockeater · 10/07/2018 17:35

I was knocked off my bike and temporarily blind (sight came back after half an hour) it was on a busy Street and only one person helped me. It was a youngish lady with down syndrome. I was very grateful to her, she helped me get out of the road and phone for help. I was clearly not a druggy. It was 10 am in a country town and I am a young civilised looking female in nice clothes. I think people can't be bothered to get involved, and also just don't care. It's sad.

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