Help me survive a 3 day festival with anxiety disorder!

[ChinaCrisis]

It's Rewind in August (Henley).

I really want to go. By that I mean I really want to be the sort of person who wants to go and is capable of enjoying themselves.

For personal reasons, I can't duck out (to support a lovely friend) so I am determined to survive the experience at the very least and not cock it up for her.

She is very snap happy and I know that there will be 100's of selfies taken of both of us for Facebook and her Instagram account.

The main thing that worries me is that I won't look the part. My wardrobe is very boring - with semi formal work wear at one end of the spectrum and then joggers/t-shirts at the other end. There is no middle ground, i.e 'going out' stuff because I don't really go out.

I'm very happy to buy some new clothes in order to look the part but don't know where to start. I am mid 40's and a size 18-20 20

I'd prefer long dresses with 3/4 length sleeves or otherwise happy to look at long shorts/t shirts.

I know I am already overthinking this but if I have the right clothes then I think I will cope better with the fake enjoyment of the whole thing.

Please don't suggest that I don't go. I am usually very well versed in avoiding social situations as I just can't handle them (have had years of practice) but I absolutely cannot let my friend down on this.

If I have a panic attack, I tend to faint or feel faint and I'm worried that this is all going to happen so publicly. My friend is completely lovely by the way, she knows that this is an issue for me although perhaps not quite how much of an issue and she has been very lovely and supportive over the years but I don't want to ruin what is essentially going to be her weekend or make her feel she is responsible for me in any way.

Also practicalities, I have never been to a festival before - so I need to start thinking about what to pack. I have a basic list but I thought that some of you on here might be more seasoned festival goers or even have knowledge of Rewind.

I'm sure I should be asking more questions but I don't know what I don't know if that makes sense?

Also, please wish me luck - I can't stop shaking but I am so determined to go.

I really can do this, if I am prepared and can make myself look 'festival ready' (whatever that is) then I know I can get through it

This is brilliant. V proud of a fellow anxiety sufferer for being firm with yourself. I can help with clothing and lists of what you need to take, I hope.

Good on you! I would start with the premise that its camping, the outdoors, and potentially bad weather. Long dresses might not be too practical. How about the shorter dress and leggings look? Comfy wellies, flip flops and pumps. A good waterproof and brolly. A warm fleece.

Take ear plugs. Ear phones to listen to anxiety apps. Nice bright lippy.

Suggest converse or trainers for your feet and wellies in case.
Loose dresses might be the thing... there is a mumsnet favourite under discussion at the moment. Hold on...

I don't have festival advice but just wanted to say you sound like an ace friend. I suffer from anxiety which manifests itself with very similar symptoms to yours. It's shit.

You've got this!

It's scary yes but so worth it. You'll be so glad you did it and it will be so much fun. I struggle with anxiety myself but usually once I'm there I can have fun and even if I can't, I still feel elated once it's over at having pushed myself. One step at a time.

I quite like wearing long sleeve mesh tops over short sleeves as I find it hides my arms enough to make me feel confident but not totally. Look at wrap dresses, quite airy and tend to give a lovely waist.

I'm very much loving the boho style at the moment, this kind of thing: www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Womens-Floral-Print-Short-Sleeve-Boho-Dress-Ladies-Evening-Party-Long-Maxi-Dress/322821719042

Wellies, suncream, rain poncho, big sunhat, wet wipes, breakfast bars, loads more pants/socks than you need, pain killers, savalon or something similar for bites

A shorter dress and leggings sounds good too - I am worried about looking ridiculous in clothes that are 'too young' for me though but will take a look x

Bright lippy sounds very adventurous for me as I don't wear makeup really apart from foundation but I guess I could go along with that on the basis of an 80's theme

Pack rescue remedy spray and calms. Both herbal and helpful to keep that edge of panic at bay.

Have a look at some long midi shirt type dresses and add a few accessories to jazz it up.

I live in these during summer www.silkfred.com/boutiques/likemary/clothing/silk-look-maxi-harem-trouser-jumpsuit-midnight-blue?utm_source=criteo&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=lowerfunnel

You can pull them up to cover boobs and I wear with kimono style loose jacket or bolero shrug You can pull them down to go with vests so they become loose trousers too. You can also pull the ankle cuffs up to your knees so they are very versatile and look lovely. One size fits up to 18 I think - Im a 14 and there is plenty room in the ones I have. Something like this, with a pretty loose shrug would look fine. I have OCD and PTSD and GAD and the only think that works for me after extensive CBT is keeping busy and forcing myself to do things outside my comfort zone. Take ear plugs, eye mask, headphones for listening to relaxation apps, and plenty of wet wipes. Bag that goes across the body too or old style bum bag is a must - have fun!

I know people who go to rewind and looking cool is not on the agenda.
Maxi dresses with a denim jacket or bolero cardi would suit you plus something cool and loose to wear to bed.
Some cute sparkly sandals that are comfortable. Lots of wet wipes, face wipes and suscreen plus a bright coral lipstick. Anti bac spray, light perfume, pedicure, clear varnish on fingernails.
With regard to anxiety, try to avoid triggers, crowds can be daunting so set up camp with some privacy. A few glasses of your favourite tipple to calm you down.
I've heard it's a very friendly atmosphere and i hope you have a wonderful time.
Maybe think of the courage of the boys who escaped the thai cave and use them as your inspiration.
Nothing awful is going to happen to you. Take a brown paper bag in the event of a PA. Well done for supporting your friend.

Thank you! Definitely some ideas and links to follow!

Will add cross body bag to list and yes to Rescue Remedy!

So I was at an 80s festival last weekend - my first - have just seen your line-up. You'll be seeing a lot of the same acts!! They were fab, so you'll have a great time.

Take loo roll and antibac.

Ear plugs and sleeping mask. Paracetemol.

Flip-flops and wellies. Sun tain lotion and a sun umbrella. (NO shade - it was boiling.)

Folding chairs or travelling rugs.

Cool bag and drinks/snacks (for the first day anyway).

Clothes - anything goes. Bikini, shorts, long festival boho dresses, big straw hats, glittery make-up! How about some pretty tops and a shorts? Whatever you feel comfortable in.

And someone else can advise you on camping gear and tents!!

Basic meds - tampax, plasters, aftersun, bite cream, antihistamines...

Have a fab time!!

rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F262927365806 this maybe?

Buy smelling salts: if you feel faint they'll help!

Also, have you thought about asking your gp for something to help calm you? Lorazepam is shorting acting than diazepam and I find can be useful to just take the edge off it all.

Don't worry too.much about what you look like. Go for comfort. Brighter clothes will help you feel summery and patterned bottoms with a looser and plain t shirt always looks good if you're not used to 'loud' clothes: patterns next to your face can look odd if you're not used to it!

Try sainsbos and asda for cheaper stuff.

Have fun!

I hope you have a wonderful time.

I hope what I'm going to say now comes across as reassuring rather than being snotty about your festival. I've just had a look at the line-up, and there are some cracking bands on there! But Rewind is not a "cool" festival. Yes, there will be some youngsters there, because 80s music is appreciated by people of all ages. But you won't be the oldest, you won't be the biggest, you won't be the only one whose sense of style has been limited to workwear and sportswear since 1984.

There will be lots of people in essentially 80s fancy dress, with varying degrees of irony, and lots of perfectly normal people who just want to relive their youth and might run to donning a lacy glove or a set of plastic beads. So find yourself something comfortable to wear, perhaps with some accessories that have a nod to the era (even deelyboppers!) and then try to forget about it. Have nice big sunglasses you can hide behind.

All festivals have quiet areas, and all festivals have medical centres. There will always be somewhere you can go and sit down and gather yourself, or talk to a professional if you need to. Good luck!

Just cover yourself in glitter and wear a flower crown. You will be fine and most people will look terrible by the end of it so out really doesn't matter how you look. Most people don't dress up for festivals in my experience.

If you can, treat yourself to a pass for the posh toilets. Worth its weight in gold!

At the last festival I went to, there were no lights in the loos. From now on, I will always take a strap-on head light. Sorry, but I will.
Anti-bac, plasters and wet wipes are a good idea too.
Suncream, a hat and sunglasses.
A packaway rain mac.
Comfortable shoes. (You can end up walking a lot.)
A big plastic bag / sheet to sit on.
Some food, eg baguettes. (It can be pricey.)

Check out this thread for a fab festivaly outfit:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/3290951-I-started-a-thread-on-these-jumpsuits-I-bought-from-Amazon

Denim jackets are a great staple - go with everything.

Also, find out where the tea tents are. They're great for taking time out when it gets too much.

Amazon sell noise-cancelling headphones.

That's all I can think of atm.

Find the tent, if there is one, where they will paint your face with glitter. Everyone looks funky with a glittery face.

find out where the tea tents are

1,000 times this! They always have loads of comfy seating and are quiet and TEA. This is probably the best advice on this thread, I really think a tea tent saved my life once

Blackout eye mask and ear plugs if camping.

Blister plasters

Could be cold in the evening so suggest leggings for under dress. Don't go too long with your dress - you don't want it trailing in the mud or getting stood on. Warm but bright and fun zip up long sleeve for evening if cold

Biodegradable glitter (be good to the environment and don't get plastic )

Not sexy but a bum bag is v practical and fits with the 80s theme! Have your debit card, cash, phone, a sunscreen stick and bright lipstick in there.

Extra power pack for your phone to charge from.

Spray in hair dye?

I came on to say type boho tops size 18 or 20 into eBay. But I have been beaten to it. Go for the long cotton ethic/gypsy style tunics. Long and then you can wear leggings or shorts. Trainers are a good suggestions, so are cheap flip-flops. Cross over body bag is essential. EBay is great way for trying out stykea you are not sure of - embrace your inner festival goer.

I have a selfie mad friend and I loathe having my photo taken. So I say five only joint selfies a day and I count them down but I do take her photo then send them to her at the end of the day.

Key thing to remember. Everyone there is going for a good time, your friend wants you to be there and it's just three days to let your hair down.

Enjoy Op. Let us know how you get on

I am also mid 40's and hefty. Most of my wardrobe is stuff I've chucked in the trolley whilst doing the weekly grocery shop, so that's what I take to festivals (we do 2 or 3 smallish ones a year with the kids). I tend to wear chinos and tops or tunics with leggings with flip flops, wellies or my most trashed trainers which I bin afterwards. Hoodies are handy and I usually treat myself to a nice Fat Face one each year as it's the thing most people see. I don't take make up, so after day 1 I'm bare-faced.

I also find being around people all the time exhausting, so I take myself off for a walk every morning for 40 minutes or so.

It doesn’t sound like YOU actually want to go. Supporting friends is good, as is trying new things, but so is taking care of yourself.

I have anxiety and would not enjoy or feel mentally well at a festival, even for one day. So I wouldn’t go!

You could ask your friend not to include you in photos.

Faking enjoyment can be bad for anxiety.

You don’t “have to” go in order to be a good friend.

I'm an anxiety sufferer but am usually able to control mine now. It's all in the breathing.

Also, I play eye spy with myself in my head, great tip someone told me.

Pick a random letter then try to find 8 things around you that begin with that letter. Sounds silly but it really distracts me!

Take long slow breasts until your chest can't inhale any more, then slowly release and repeat