Help me survive a 3 day festival with anxiety disorder!

[ChinaCrisis]

It's Rewind in August (Henley).

I really want to go. By that I mean I really want to be the sort of person who wants to go and is capable of enjoying themselves.

For personal reasons, I can't duck out (to support a lovely friend) so I am determined to survive the experience at the very least and not cock it up for her.

She is very snap happy and I know that there will be 100's of selfies taken of both of us for Facebook and her Instagram account.

The main thing that worries me is that I won't look the part. My wardrobe is very boring - with semi formal work wear at one end of the spectrum and then joggers/t-shirts at the other end. There is no middle ground, i.e 'going out' stuff because I don't really go out.

I'm very happy to buy some new clothes in order to look the part but don't know where to start. I am mid 40's and a size 18-20 20

I'd prefer long dresses with 3/4 length sleeves or otherwise happy to look at long shorts/t shirts.

I know I am already overthinking this but if I have the right clothes then I think I will cope better with the fake enjoyment of the whole thing.

Please don't suggest that I don't go. I am usually very well versed in avoiding social situations as I just can't handle them (have had years of practice) but I absolutely cannot let my friend down on this.

If I have a panic attack, I tend to faint or feel faint and I'm worried that this is all going to happen so publicly. My friend is completely lovely by the way, she knows that this is an issue for me although perhaps not quite how much of an issue and she has been very lovely and supportive over the years but I don't want to ruin what is essentially going to be her weekend or make her feel she is responsible for me in any way.

Also practicalities, I have never been to a festival before - so I need to start thinking about what to pack. I have a basic list but I thought that some of you on here might be more seasoned festival goers or even have knowledge of Rewind.

I'm sure I should be asking more questions but I don't know what I don't know if that makes sense?

Also, please wish me luck - I can't stop shaking but I am so determined to go.

I really can do this, if I am prepared and can make myself look 'festival ready' (whatever that is) then I know I can get through it

Clothes wise I would suggest George at ASDA. They do a fab range of dresses and big loose tops and crop trousers. It is all cheap and cheerful so it won't matter to much if it gets wrecked.

I would also second the poster who said you won't be the only one there in 1980's sportswear if that is the look you go for!

she could return your efforts by putting the bloody camera phone down and perhaps enjoying the moment. hardly a big ask.

brickphone addicts waste their lives.

but is this actually your idea of fun??

Thanks everyone. It's hard to explain why I need to go and not let her down without outing her. There is very poignant reason why she wants to go to this particular festival at this particular time and why she asked me to go with her.

I can't say any more than that, but not going, simply isn't an option.

Yes the phone/selfie thing is maddening but it is what it is and I don't want to look like a massive miserable fucker in all of them

I'm loving all the tips thank you and they have been quite reassuring - there's a TEA tent????

This is my Glastonbury packing list, may not all be relevent, but hope it helps!

Group stuff

Sleeping tent
Front porch tent
Airbed
Fold up chairs
Airbed pump
Airbed pump batteries
Picnic blanket
Plastic wine glasses
Stakes for wine glasses
Hammer x2
Tent pegs
Alcohol
Trolley

Clothes

Knickers
Normal socks
Knee high socks
Bras
Bikini
Shorts
Leggings
Hoody
Furry hoody
Coat
Poncho
Skirts
Dresses
Cycling shorts
Waterproof trousers
Woolly hat
Pyjamas
Shmangle

Toiletries

Make-up
Showergel
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Hairbrush
Deodorant
Body spray
Suntan lotion
Razor
Shampoo
Dry shampoo
Glasses
Contact lenses

Accessories

Hairbands
Hair flowers
Jewellery
Sunglasses
Earplugs
Eye mask

Medical

Plasters
Tubigrip
Painkillers
Resolve extra
Gum

Equipment

Wet wipes
Small wet wipes
Anti-bacterial wipes
Makeup remover wipes
Eye wipes
Loo roll
Small bags
Bin bags
Phone
External charger
Torch
Lamp
Sleeping bag
Pillow
Handbag
Purse/money
Tickets
Swiss army knife
Zippo

Footwear

Wellies
Flip-flops
Trainers

You're a bloody marvellous friend. Good for you for sticking two fingers up at your anxiety and showing it you have bigger priorities. You never know, it could be the start of something amazing...
Recommend having a browse on the links given, also ASOS and Joe Browns. Great clothes in all sizes that won't break the bank. Please don't worry too much about what you're wearing though - comfort is the main thing. And who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy it!

Hat and big sunglasses - essential if it’s sunny, plus makes you look festivally AND disguised. Shoe wise, flipflops or similar, converse or similar, wellies. Of the last three festivals I’ve been to, I spent two in mostly birkis (converse in the evening when cooler), the third in wellies almost 24/7.

Pockets/bumbag/bag (dress and leggings is great but can lack places to put stuff).

Insect repellent. My go-to for everything this year as apparently I’m v tasty.

That camping list, by wine, is perfect. I would say to get a bigger tent than you think you need and practice pitching. I had to help so many people (I didn't have to obviously, but I'm nosy and didn't mind) to put theirs up at two festivals last year. If it's raining the last thing you want is a tiny pop up tent you can't stand up in. If you're feeling a bit anxious having a nice space can help.

Do buy a VIP toilet pass if you can, makes the world of difference.

Clothes wise I don't think maxi dresses work well at festivals if it rains. I'd look for knee length dresses (try asda for cheap options) and leggings. Do get good wellies and welly socks. It makes the world of difference to your comfort.

Finally, I wouldn't be without my gigsack, it's a picnic rug you can shelter under.

@ChinaCrisis - Not only are there tea tents, but sometimes, they're free!! The WI tent was excellent at the last one I went to - not free sadly, but really good value.

Wow! Super awesome of you to go! It will be fine and you will have a good time with your friend!

Good for you!

(Agoraphobic, mostly recovered here)

I have been to rewind at Henley and it was awesome. One thing that I do remember was it was really really cold at night. Make sure you take plenty of toilet roll, a basic first aid kit, crocs were great for walking around in, dry shampoo as showers had big queues.

Wear what you feel comfortable in, no one will care what you wear just as long as you have a good time.

Can you have a conversation with your friend and explain how uncomfortable you feel about her taking selfies? A good friend would understand.

What's a shmangle?

You sound lovely OP. Can't advise on the festival but I've suffered with panic attacks before and learnt to tune in and try to catch it early. If I felt one starting i would try and get somewhere quieter (possibly not an option for you), then I focused on slowing my breathing and my senses. There is a kinda protocol where you listen for two sounds, felt the clothes or wind on your skin, smelt the smells around you. It sounds a bit wooo but it helped to bring me back into my body and not loose it. I would suggest practicing before you go. Good luck.

Can you go for a short camping trip beforehand to test out the equipment, being organised and prepared really helps. If you get familiar with the camping gear and clothes ahead of time you won't have as much to deal with.

Can you talk to your friend about what to do if you do have a panic attack, if people around me panic it makes things worse but you could ask her to give you some water or whatever would help you.

Seasoned festival goer here!

I’d really recommend taking things easy and not trying to pack too much into your day, don’t worry if you miss a band or turn up late to one. Wander around the site, take a look at the stalls and grab some yummy bites to eat!

Essentials to take:

Emergency foil blanket to go UNDER your sleeping mat/air bed/sim this will keep you warm!
Hand sanitizer
Tissues (for nose and bum!)
Wet wipes (Glastonbury shower anyone!!)
Your own pillow!
Eyemask and ear plugs for over night
Tent big enough to stand up in (ideally with blackout bedrooms!)
Picnic blanket or lightweight chairs
Shoes for all eventualities!

As some one who has been to festivals as a size 10 and size 26 I know how hard the clothing thing is. Don’t worry about it, no one is looking!!! Leggings and skirts or short dresses are much better than maxi dresses (unless no rain) and don’t bother with jeans. If it’s going to rain invest in good waterproofs - worst things in the world is getting sweaty inside a plastic Mac in the pouring rain!!!

Wear coloured nail varnish on fingers and toes as it hides the dirt! Lots of chewing gum, tissues, easy snacking food, drinks. A paper fan, insect repellent. Definitely a bum bag. Hats are good for covering greasy hair. Lavender oil for getting to sleep and tiger balm for rubbing on stiff neck. Also rescue remedy for anxiety helps. Have fun!

Home bargains have a whole section dedicated to festivals...lots of bits and pieces to pick up very cheaply like wipes, travel size toiletries etc, but also flower garlands and fun things to decorate yourself!

Shoes must be comfy. Dry shampoo is your friend. Anti bac gel for hands.

Well done on going. Another anxiety sufferer here. Oddly enough, I was pretty chilled at the last festival I went to. It is very much like living in a bubble for a few days.

Have a great time. X

I go to Rewind Henley every year and literally anything goes. It's very laid back in the fashion sense........nobody cares what you are wearing and lots of people do 80s fancy dress. A long dress won't be practical, but jeans, leggings, t shirts are all fine. Take a waterproof and something warm for the night and you will be fine. It can be a lot of fun. I hope you have a great time.

Hi everyone, I just wanted to pop back and update everyone as I had received lots of lovely fab advice on here.

I did it! I survived and had a FAB time, more importantly my lovely friend did too :)

I did have a bit of a wobble when I finally got home yesterday, I think just a release of tension probably but non of that matters.

It was a brilliant festival, very relaxed and a massive giggle.

I now have cankles, sunburn and a sore throat but a big smile on my face.

Thank you to everyone for reassuring me and encouraging me and all the fab tips for a first time festival goer!