To think DD and DSIL didn't give DGS this middle name to honour me?

[namechangeso]

DGS has been given the middle name Joseph. Joseph is my uncles name. They keep saying they gave him that name to honour me!!! Whenever any family or friends ask, they say oh we picked it to honour my mum's side. They could have used her dad's name, male version of my name, my dad's name, etc. I don't think they should have to do that and absolutely don't mind if I'm honoured or not, their baby, their choice, 100%, but to keep telling everyone it's in honour of me!!??

That seems weird, why don't they just say after the baby's great great uncle (or his mum's great-uncle)? Or just 'it's a family name'? Did they know your uncle well, or do you think that they just liked the name?

People are really fucking weird about the whole "honouring someone" with a name thing.

Someone on here once wanted to know if giving her baby the middle name Leah would be a good way to honour her father whose name was William which nobody got until she made the utterly tenuous point that Wil lia m has the same sound as Leah in the middle. Bizarre.

So no you're right it's barking. Did they even know your uncle? Were they close?

Sounds like they chose the name they liked best from the choices from your side of the family. They're saying it honours your side more than you specifically surely? I think it's a nice gesture - they obviously didn't like the choices you suggested so went for the one they liked.

(I mean the ones you suggested in your OP btw, not that you suggested names to them directly)

Well they must feel they need to?

Just smile and nod. It’s s nice name and a nice gesture

I think they mean you/your side of the family and they chose the name they liked.

I think henpeckedinchief hit the nail on the head. It's a name from your side of the family, honouring your side of the family

Have you asked her why that name, that Uncle?

It's a lovely name btw

I agree. A bloody tenuous connection to you!
Does the baby's first name have a particular association with the other side of the family? If so do they have some misplaced idea you might feel slighted?

Yanbu, it sounds like they liked the name Joseph and as it happened to be in the family, albeit distant, they're now saying 'oh its to honour family'. Did they ever meet this uncle? Did you get on with him? It sounds a bit like a way to suck up to me!! Just nod and smile.

It is nice though that they’ve tried isn’t it?

And congratulations on being a granny!

Oh ffs!!! Suck up?? How horrible!! Maybe just maybe they are trying to be you know nice??

Move on

Just realised you are a nanna to this baby?

Good grief what does his name matter? Being a nanna is wonderful I love it! you will love it. Who gives a shiny shite what he’s called.

It is a bit tenuous, but I guess they were trying to be nice.

I knew someone whose mum was upset because her new GS had a very similar name to her own (think Michelle/Michael); my friend couldn't fathom why her mum was so miffed as she'd partly done it as a compliment! People are unpredictable

I chose my Grandfathers name as my sons middle name and my grannies and aunts name (both had same name) as my daughters middle name. My Mum was really touched that we chose two of her ‘family’ names (we also chose my maiden name as a second middle name, to honour my Dads side and my dh’s Grandma who asked us to use my maiden name as a middle name, as it had been a family tradition on her side to give babies the Mothers maiden name as a second middle name. As my dh’s surname is our family name, we have linked our families through both of our children’s names and both of our children are very proud of the family links in their names).

Perhaps your DD and DSIL are trying to do the same? Are you annoyed that your DD didn’t choose a name more personal to you? Why don’t you like them saying that they are honouring you? Do you have a negative relationship with your DU?

My daughter is named after my dad's mum and my mum's sister. It is to honour the people they are named after not my mum and dad.

I think if they're saying they picked it to honour you, then they did. They picked it from your side of the family because they wanted to honour the connection to your family. I'm that you seem put out by it.

It's very sweet of them though!

I take it you don't have a name that is easily masculinised. And your father's name is too dreadful to think of?!

People get strange ideas. Why don’t you ask them why they keep sayingit?

I don't see why it's surprising that the OP is puzzled to be told that the baby's middle name honours her when he hasn't been named after her, but has her uncle's name (and the OP hasn't said the uncle was special to either her or her children). My dd is named after two of her great grandparents. When me and dh told our respective parents that she was named after their mothers neither saw it as honouring them, in fact they weren't really happy about it at all. So it was lucky we didn't do it to make them happy really :)

I got an absolute lasting by my uncle for not giving my kids names of family members (or indeed middle names at all) - people do get weird about this stuff!

*pasting

Just let it go, and appreciate that they were thinking of you, even if it ended up convoluted.