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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bitter comments from DH over the washing

75 replies

Pooshy · 08/07/2018 18:21

Sorry for this boring thread but I can't work out if I'm being over sensitive

A couple of times I've shown DH how to hang the washing out. As he will have hung things by the shoulders only or whatever and they get pointy shoulders

Today he's been in a foul mood all day as our toddler is winding him up. He saw i'd hung his T shirt out and made one of those jokey but bitchy comments about how I'd hung it out the wrong way up. I was going to say any way up is fine, it's just better not to get the fabric pinched, but he cut me off and said something about my "pedantry", in quite a nasty and bitter way

I can't quite believe I'm writing this as it's so dull, but I feel quite pissed off about it

Just think he's a bit of a grumpy prick really! Aibu / over sensitive?!

OP posts:
Undercoverbanana · 08/07/2018 18:54

I think the heat is getting to people.

Dljlr · 08/07/2018 18:54

I've lived with 3 men and none of them appeared to have any common sense re how to hang washing so it doesn't dry in a peculiar shape. None of them are stupid. I couldn't give a fuck if their clothes look weird through their own stupidity but I do care when they do it to mine, so with the last two I've told them to leave my shit alone and I'll leave theirs alone. Funnily enough with both that was sufficient to prompt them to hang out shit properly, since I tend to do the lion's share of the laundry and they didn't want the hassle of hanging up their own shit more than they had to Hmm

NewYearNewMe18 · 08/07/2018 18:54

I suppose there is a back story - do you often trail behind him, correcting him?

MikeUniformMike · 08/07/2018 19:00

Tops from the bottom, bottoms from the top.
DP used to fold things over the line and peg t-shirts at the shoulder, until he realised that I don't iron t-shirts and he was going to work with pointy shoulders.

Kewcumber · 08/07/2018 19:03

Who cares if his T shirts have pointy bits Confused if he doesn't like it he'll change how he does it.

I can't imagine correcting anyone on how they hang the washing out unless they're leaving rust marks by spearing them onto the line with a medieval sword.

MikeUniformMike · 08/07/2018 19:05

I would. Pointless folding a bathtowel in half over a line - it takes too long to dry.

crazychemist · 08/07/2018 19:08

Amazed by people commenting that an adult can't be wound up by a toddler. Have you MET toddlers? "Why?" Halo

Personally I think having a good vent on mumsnet is a good response. I doubt it's actually the washing he's annoyed about, you'll probably find out the real reason soon enough.

However, I would definitely have put the washing back in the basket, handed it to DH and walked off.

mathanxiety · 08/07/2018 19:08

A toddler is not capable of winding anyone up, if normal toddler behaviour annoys him that much, think he has a bigger problem than pointy shoulder OP.

THIS^^

SilverySurfer · 08/07/2018 19:12

This reminds me of the thread complaining about the DP's inability to do a food shop properly so he is no longer asked to do it.

In both cases presumably reasonably intelligent men are seemingly incapable of basic tasks like shopping and hanging out the washing, so the women in their lives tut and pat them on the head and do it themselves.

The DHs meanwhile think how clever they are to get out of doing boring, mundane tasks so who are the stupid ones?

Beamur has the right idea.

Giraffey1 · 08/07/2018 19:12

You argue over which way to hang out the washing? Why does it matter, I’ve been doing it ‘wrong’ according to you for a few decades ... so what. I’d pick your battles!

supersop60 · 08/07/2018 19:13

Op - I get you. We share the washing, but DP does hang stuff up 'wrong' - in the sense that it will dry creased, or with pointy bits. His own trousers he hangs up 'double' ie leg against leg - then wonders why they take so long to dry.

Imstickingwiththisone · 08/07/2018 19:16

Sometimes my mood is low and I can be tetchy and stressy because toddlers had a bad day. I thought that just made me human, but apparently I'm an arsehole.

I'd be fed up with having a dp so condescending that they tell me the 'right' way to hang washing. I'd definitely at something if they then hung it wrong!

duckfuckduck · 08/07/2018 19:22

Don't do his washing.

raisedbyguineapigs · 08/07/2018 19:26

Ive been doing tops from the top, bottoms from the bottom for years! the other way round makes more sense! Wonder why it never occurred to me Grin

diddl · 08/07/2018 19:34

Was he not just trying to make a joke?

Idk-he thinks you're wrong, ypu think he'd wrong...

I vary the way I hang stuff-yea me!Grin

Couchpotato3 · 08/07/2018 19:38

So if he hangs his T shirts up the wrong way and gets a pointy shoulder as a result, he will either learn to do it a different way or have to put up with pointy shoulders. Not your problem? My DH would deliberately create pointy shoulders and then pretend not to care, rather than admit that my way was better.....

MissMarplesKnitting · 08/07/2018 19:41

Just don't do his washing.

Mind's just put a load in, he's been away working and just got home.

He will hang it up weirdly to get darked on but I give no shits as I haven't had to do any of it.

JennyBlueWren · 08/07/2018 19:46

Sometimes when things are stressful we say things we shouldn't (me and DH both did that yesterday) but should apologise and forgive and move on unless it is a regular thing.

DH and I do lots of things differently (obviously I do it right and he does it wrong) and have had to live and let live. You are wrong to fold clothes over to peg. DH does that and they don't dry properly and leave creases. I have sometimes changed them.

You both have different ways of doing things. Don't expect him to do them your way or else he will be disinclined to do it at all.

FrayedHem · 08/07/2018 19:48

DH and I peg the washing different to each other. I would never tell him to change nor him me. His mum has re-pegged my washing in the past.

So he was petty to make the comment but he should have just told you at the time he would do it his way.

StaplesCorner · 08/07/2018 19:55

I wonder if its a "thing" - my husband is in his 60s and I have just made him start doing his own washing as he retired and I work and he likes to change his clothes after an hour or so some days so huge loads of heavy t-shirts. Anyway, occasionally if I am away or out I have to ask him to hang up clothes or bring them in. He always makes sure he twists a tiny bit of fabric somewhere - say the chest part of the item, and pegs it by that so the item is likely to be damaged.

Or if things are slightly damp he likes to throw them into the basket in a heap and not tell me so that the next day I find everything irreparably creased. He says he has to do this as he doesn't know how to hang out/take in washing.

cathcath2 · 08/07/2018 19:59

I think the question is: do you iron his t-shirts. If you don't, let him hang them up whatever way he wants! If you do, I can see why you would get frustrated.

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey · 08/07/2018 20:04

Is there anything he is particular about ? That’s your bargaining zone !

SilverySurfer · 08/07/2018 20:23

He says he has to do this as he doesn't know how to hang out/take in washing.

Of course he says that! It's boring, he doesn't want to do it so says he doesn't know how. Of course he does! But if he does it badly for long enough he is hoping you will do it yourself.

Brunsdon1 · 08/07/2018 20:33

I think if you classify someone not being able to hang out washing because they don't hang it out the way you want ? That's rather making a rod for your back

Yep I think I'd snap a bit if I was constantly being "corrected "....if there really is such a person who notices that someone has 'pointy ' bits on their clothes due to incorrect clothesline procedure.....well no...i can't honestly believe anyone would be ridiculous enough to think that

OP he shouldn't have been a smart arse..but lay off a bit and both accept the heat is getting to you both

And toddlers don't wind you up.??? Have any of you met toddlers? Do they do it deliberately? No of course not , do they know they are doing It? No

But after three hours of insistent requests to make things that are not trains into a connected line like a train....it can get annoying...and result in me being a tad sharp with DP if he catches me the wrong time

I really do think heat is making us all far snappier than usual

ShoutyMcShoutFace · 08/07/2018 20:43

Gosh it seems like lots of people are deliberately misunderstanding the op. She has previously tried to explain its best not to "pinch" bits of fabric. The OP's husband has (wrongly) seized on the orientation of the item has hung out nicely to have a cheap sarcastic shot at her. He definitely sounds like he's being an arse.

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