to think I was right not to report this as I just overreacted?

[themiss]

I live near the seaside and last night popped out to take some photos of the sunset. There were quite a few people about. I was leaning against a railing by the beach focusing on a shot when a guy came right up behind me. He didn't touch me, just came really close behind me and kind of whispered in my ear, I can't remember what, but probably something to do with me taking a photo. I'm a naturally anxious person and felt hugely uncomfortable with this invasion of my space. So I told him to fuck off. He backed away laughing, he was holding a pint and was probably a bit pissed. The laughter unsettled me more, so I shouted fuck off again. I know it was a bit of an overreaction, but it just felt humiliating to be laughed at for getting a fright. He then kept laughing and mimicking me shouting fuck off. So I just left and went straight home. He seemed to be with a girlfriend, but she didn't say or do anything, just stared at me when I swore at him. I mentioned it to my mum today and she thinks I should have reported him to the police. I feel that would be an overreaction. Any thoughts?

If someone whispered in my ear, having sneaked up behind me, I would probably spin round and smack them. And it would serve them right.

I think OP was absolutely justified in yelling at this prick to fuck off. Why should women put up with men who think it's funny to creep up on them and bother them when they are just going about their business?

I'd have been upset by this too, I see red if someone mimics me but you were right not to report it, sadly being a pathetic tw@t isn't against the law.

Can't see how the name-calling by other posters on this thread is in any way constructive, though.

...but context is everything if you're deciding what intentions were.

Take something simple like my example above, someone has their lens cap on. You might whisper this to someone rather than saying it loudly as the first one might seem more friendly/less rude. Poor judgment perhaps to get in someone's space unexpectedly hence you might frighten them and get a reaction, but no bad intent.

Completely understandable that someone might get a fright and react badly, but if you have no idea what they said, you have no idea whether they meant to frighten anyone ir have any bad effect at all.

But the context of the situation is actually pretty clear I think. If the guy, for whatever weird socially inept reason, thought creeping up behind her and whispering in her ear some well meaning piece of information was the best option, then when she jumped out of her skin and spun around he'd have said "oh gosh I'm sorry to startle you, I was just saying your lens cap was on..." or something like that. Or even huffed and said "wow, sorry, just trying to be helpful" or something. What he wouldn't have done is laughed and then started imitating and mocking her. The context of the situation makes it very clear that his intentions were not well meaning.

I don't think hitting him would have been a good idea myself though for her own safety, and also because I don't think violence should be used unless you genuinely feel it's necessary for self defence. The OP said she felt intimidated and humiliated, but she hasn't indicated that she though he might actually hurt her. If I'm wrong OP and you did feel in physical danger from him then that would be a police matter in my eyes. But lashing out physically and hitting him just to teach him a lesson isn't something I'd encourage.

ReanimatedSGB, that's fine, if that is your choice, but, as said, people are dying and receiving brain injuries every night in my City, because they don't let go shitty behaviour.

Listening to the Parents on Eastenders, about the 'reasons' why their children were stabbed to death, was heartbreaking.

I can guarantee that if I look on my local Newspapers site tonight, there will another incident that didn't have to happen.

If the Man wouldn't have reacted to a slap, his Girlfriend might have and then the Man jumps in to defend her. It isn't worth the possible consequences.

I wouldn’t have reported it but the man would have received an absolute earful and I would have felt intimidated, very uncomfortable and annoyed. I think you reacted as most people would.