Secondary after school care

[littlemssilly]

Just wanted to know what people do with their children after school at secondary?
Dd goes to a childminder at the moment, do people still use them for secondary? Or does everybody work short days so they can pick up? I know schools have homework clubs for maybe an hour but I can't imagine my 11yo go home and be alone for an hour or two or AIBU?
Won't be applying yet but it will inform a decision to move house etc before applying.

OP your not being silly at all. My eldest was self assured and street wise bythe time he went to secondary. My DD I was worried about but she was fine. My DS will be starting secondary in September. He I am a little more worried about and myself and his older brother and doing a little more with him as part of the preparation as he will be getting a train! All DC are different

There generally isn't child care at that age. When DSis started secondary, DM got her to ring DG just for peace of mind. Is that something you could do? If they are travelling by the bus alone, make sure you go through what to do if you miss the main school bus (if there is one). I remember a teacher keeping the whole class behind in the first week and I wasn't sure what to do until I saw someone who loved nearby.

bonefireheart think your right. As where I live the DC are walking home with there friends. They would be ridiculed if they had anyone waiting outside for them. However for some they need to get collected or a school bus.

My DM is a CM and she does and has often had Y7s who shes minded since babies still come after school (make their own way to hers) for dinner then either collecred by parents or then make their own way home at an agreed time.

She does summer hol care for them too (think she has had y8 and y9 too during summer) but this is more casual - they meet her if shes out and about with the smaller mindees at an agreed later time; they can then go home at an agreed earlier time.

Sort of similar to what I would imagine a grandparent would provide for those interim years.

I think we need to encourage secondary school pupils to be as independent as possible, pushing them and ourselves as far from comfort zones as we deem appropriate.

So much easier to say than to do though!

Our local after school club would take children til age 12 or even 13 ( if there was a good reason they needed extra support). Most parents used the extra time to build up the amount of time their children were on their own. After school activities also help bridge the gap or a casual arrangement of hanging out at friends (with an at home parent) returning the favour at a weekend.
I was lucky in that my retired parents lived nearby so my teenagers usually spent one after school afternoon with them (helping them with jobs around the house) one afternoon a week at an activity, two afternoons at an activity in the summer months. One afternoon at a friends house and just by themselves at home on the other afternoons. A mix and match approach that worked for us.

Of course you aren't being silly. Ignore those who have said that. It is a big transition, and the need for and level of required childcare is now changing rapidly.

You know your child. You are the best judge in the end.

At this age many children are learning to be much more independent. You start small (perhaps even in year 6 if appropriate) and build up gradually.

I suppose I didn't really have much of a childcare issue with my older two DDs. I was still mostly at home because DD3 was small. By the time DD3 went to secondary school her two older sisters were aged 18 and 14, and all rubbed along fairly well. Therefore it was no longer an issue at all and hasn't been since (DD3 is about to enter sixth form in September - yikes, how did that happen?).

OP, I took my DD to school nearly every day through secondary as it was on my way to work, it was a walkable distance but without a path and across a major junction so no children walk from our area. There is ONE bus which as we are the last stop is packed in the mornings and nearly always late.

They were able to catch the bus home as it did 2 trips. DD1 was very mature for her age so always chose to come home alone for the 2 hours between school and me finishing work. I was happy with this as our shared nanny/childminder was still looking after DD2 and was a 5 minute walk away.

Even when DD2 started we still had the nanny/childminder on call if needed as she was a family friend.

During the school holidays especially in Y7 and Y8 we tried to not leave them at home for days on end. We used holiday clubs, days out with the 'childminder' or trips to see the Grandparents if DP or I couldn't take leave.

2 of my nephews start Y7 in September, one I might just about consider mature enough to go home to an empty house. The other is young for his age and immature, fortunately he has younger siblings and his mum will be there for him.

I will still have one at a Childminder’s when older one starts secondary, I could imagine arranging for him to walk there and then I collect both together, at the start at least.
Though it would be bloody lovely to have to pay less childcare!

You aren't "silly" at all. The poster up thread who suggested you are aptly named is just rude. It's a couple of years away however and I know it's hard to imagine how much they grow and change. Your DC will be fine sorting themselves out. Independence is good for them.

Start building up independence in last year of primary (no idea what year that is as I’m not in England). Start by walking home alone, then walking home to empty house for a little while, then a longer time etc. My 10 year old is starting to walk home alone from August (final year of primary) one day a week, and building up from there. It’s a learning process for child and parent!

This was me a year ago. For the first couple of weeks i finished work at 4 so Ds1 was at home on his own for about an hour. Then he got used to letting himself in, making a Snack ( and mess) and chill on xbox or tv until big bad mum gets home and mentions homework. Just have a plan (hidden spares/neighbours) for when you get the 'ive forgotton my key' call.

I think a lot of parents do pick up from secondary as I notice a huge number of cars turning up at 3 outside the school.

My year 7 daughter has a (very lovely) childminder who's looked after her since she was a few months old. My dd is pretty independent and would be fine being at home but my main concerns have been making sure she has a decent meal (she's ravenous by 4pm) and someone to chat to if she's needed to after school, this first year of secondary.
These days she eats at the childminder's and then walks home to be on her own for an hour or so and fairly soon now she'll be going straight home from school.
It's been pretty perfect for her in terms of childcare and a great transition for her first year of secondary.
Also where we live it's pretty normal for parents to pick up and drop off, partly because you need to take out a second mortgage to afford the extortionate school bus fares! It's also not uncommon for secondary children to have some sort of after school care in year 7. The children I know who've had childcare are all fairly chilled and independent but like the food and the company!
At the weekend my dd is happy to be on her own for a few hours if I want to go shopping, so I've got no concerns about her independence, in spite of the fact she's had after school care this year!

My dd is the same age as yours op, and I can imagine her being fine in a couple of years. She can't walk home on her own as we are in a rural area and a distance from school. But she goes out to call for her friends on her own, to our village shop, I leave her in the house on her own. I think you need to start preparing her now by just starting to make her more independent. I really can see my dd will be fine in a couple of years.

I do agree re:holidays. DH wfh though - he's self employed so that will massively help us.

When I started at secondary school, my bus home stopped outside the local library, already a familiar and friendly spot for me, and I could stop off there and use reference books etc. while tackling my homework (pre-internet childhood!) I realise that with libraries a victim of cuts (shamefully in my opinion, but that's a whole other thread) this may not be an option.
I see from your post that this is not an imminent problem, so maybe time to check if the school makes homework club provision? I used to prefer getting it over and done with before I actually got home when I could, so that I could really relax.
The school where I worked before retirement had "supervised study" under the school librarian's watchful eye as one of its "keep them off the slippery slope" sanctions, and a few pupils asked if they could do this, not as a punishment, but as a support. But many schools have budgets too stretched for this, I realise.