Secondary after school care

[littlemssilly]

Just wanted to know what people do with their children after school at secondary?
Dd goes to a childminder at the moment, do people still use them for secondary? Or does everybody work short days so they can pick up? I know schools have homework clubs for maybe an hour but I can't imagine my 11yo go home and be alone for an hour or two or AIBU?
Won't be applying yet but it will inform a decision to move house etc before applying.

He'll have loads of homework to do from the start of year 7. Just get him to go home and get started on that. It'll help him be more independent.

I do know people who used a childminder for the first part of Y7. Once both child and parent are confident about the child being home alone for however long they stop going.

Not every child is magically ready when they change schools even though some would be fine from an earlier age.

They do grow up pretty quickly in general though.

We did clubs and local library.

Thanks for starting this thread, OP. I've been wondering the same tbh. My DD is starting Year 5 in September, but I've been thinking what an earth would I do with her in the summer holidays? I dont think after school will be much of a problem, but I am worried about her being lonely in the summer holiday

Sometimes in the summer holidays the teens I have minded previously will come round to mine for an hour if they are lonely. So they have a lie in and potter around in the morning at home, come up to mine at lunchtime for a natter and company for a bit, then wander back home in the afternoon.

I'd say the summer holidays are the bit you'd need to plan for, simply because it isn't good for anyone's mental health to sit alone in an empty house for whole days over a long period. Let her get involved in thinking about activities, camps, things she might want to go to. My dd used to do youth theatre.

nokidshere it sounds like you offer an excellent service for those young people who are still practising spreading their wings. If I hadn't been able to be home by 3pm, I'd have loved to have someone like you giving them that sort of flexible support.

Ds (12) lets himself in and does his homework or watches tv till myself or dh get in. We both work no more the 10 mins away by car and he can reach us easily if he needs too. Sometimes he'll go to a friends or after school club and my neighbours who are retired look out for him too. He likes having the little bit of responsibility 😊

nokidshere it sounds like you offer an excellent service for those young people who are still practising spreading their wings. If I hadn't been able to be home by 3pm, I'd have loved to have someone like you giving them that sort of flexible support

Thank you.

I love having teens around (I also have 2 of my own). Most of them are articulate, funny and entertaining.
I don't "look after them" when they start secondary but I like to think that they, and their parents, can feel supported whilst encouraging independence.

OP have you posted about this before under a different name (apologies if it wasn't you) Are you the poster who is moving to a new area and wanted someone's au pair to look after your DD and in return you would take them to a National Trust property?

Anyway, I think it is very unusual for a NT child/teenager at secondary school to have any kind of after school care. Use this summer to build up her confidence and street smarts going places on her own and being left home alone.

Lots of teenagers get collected from my DCs secondary school because it serves a lot of villages as well as the town. As it's next to the primary school that adds more students who get collected - there is no issue with it.

It is the holidays you really need to plan for, otherwise get them to make their own way home, give them a key and ensure they can let themselves in. Ensure that they know what the rules are to be for the couple of hours that they will be alone, and what the consequences will be should you discover that these have not been adhered to.

Make sure they have a phone, and all emergency contact numbers in it.

I have three DDs, and the youngest is now almost 16. Barring any specific reasons such as school trips or sports clubs outside transport hours, or if they became ill during the day and needed collected early (maybe happened twice), they got the school bus and were expected to let themselves in, feed and water themselves as needed and begin homework.

I must admit that when my youngest started secondary school I saw it as the shackles coming off me. I was finally able to get back to work and have more money and freedom for our family.

If a child actually needs looking after you would probably need to find someone who does individual care for them.

I'm expecting DD to make her own way to/from school by secondary, as it's not like we can even take them to and from primary ourselves! The first few years of secondary I got a lift in but made my own way back.

We will probably still have an au pair until DS starts secondary, so until DD is 14, but they won't have much responsibility for her once she's moved up.

There are some rather self-righteous people on this thread accusing the OP of being silly and treating her child like a baby.
Since when does caring about your child's wellbeing make you silly?

We work it so DD has a friend to go home with most days. She is just coming to the end of year 7 and is ok going home by herself for an hour or two if she needs to but prefers company. She walks to and from school and has her own key. I started leaving her on her own at the end of year 6 so she should get used to it. Her child minder kept a space for her so she could go in the holidays with her brother but she didn't want to go after starting y7. It's just a case of getting them used to being on their own for periods of time, making sure they know what do if there's a fire etc and making sure they have a phone. It's daunting for parents but it's pretty much the norm now.

We did use a childminder for dd for Y7 as she was using a wheelchair and couldn't get into our house without help. CM didn't seem at all thrown by having a secondary child on her books, she could chill there and enjoy playing with the littlies, worked perfectly fine.

I started teaching my dc independence as soon as I felt it was age appropriate.
So, little things like carrying own school bag at 5, at 6 making own pack lunch, at 7 going in to swimming changing in own, at 8 short periods at home on own, at 9 walking to and from school on own etc
So that by 11, they can manage the two miles to school on their own, get to their own sports clubs, and manage a few hours at home alone.

Most of us haven't called OP silly. Only a couple of idiots. She isn't silly. The transition from primary school to secondary school causes these questions.

Childcare is much more of an issue throughout primary school. There is less provision for it for secondary school children and not needing it so much can take a bit of getting used to, for both parents and children.

For most of us with secondary school children, the days of the "school run" have largely come to an end, except for the occasional special reason as I mentioned in my other post.

It is a transition phase, to get used to and established during years 7 and 8, particularly during year 7.

The after school club my children goes to takes children up to the end of year 7.

We had Find Friends installed on phones, a key rock thing under the carport (she thought she would lose the key), and I took a late tea break in the afternoon and we had a little FaceTime catch up. She got herself a drink and a snack, did her pet care, organised her homework. She progressed to prepping the veg for dinner, taking the washing out of the machine. Those were the days!
Now I find her lying on my sofa watching Netflix with a strawberry cider moaning about the heat. (Now 17)

Depends, there is a difference between home at 4:30 parent walks in at 5:15 and home by 3:10 parent not home till gone 7. Also how many nights a week it will be...

As part of my DC preparation for starting secondary I let them walk to and from school from yr 6. They have keys to get in. We live in a busy city and there secondary was going to require public transport so we got them there oyster and did some trial runs for the journey and let them get on with it. Once they hit secondary they will be wanting more independence and will likely be a laughing stock if there being picked up by a child minder. You need to help prepare your DC for the transition.

Thanks for the responses. I think I had it in my head that kids couldn't be left alone until 13- no idea where I got that from.
I had older siblings when I went to secondary so it want an issue for me, it was also a five minute walk so getting on a bus for school isn't something I had to do. I probably am being silly (maybe my name gives it away🙈)
She isn't going until 20/21 so plenty of time to move to where I want her to go to and what fits in etc. She's very responsible but it just seems young. I do know some people who pick up as there are loads of cars parked near our local secondary schools. Some schools nearby have specific buses, but for others it's a bus into town and then another bus which makes me feel uneasy. She does have extra curricular stuff - dance etc that hopefully she'll continue so will possibly factor this in too.

I still drop my year 8 ds and his mates and pick them up, loads of parents pick up from his secondary school, there grateful for the lift and so are there parents, only one of his mates goes home to a empty home and parent gets back about 6, but he often comes back to ours for dinner and then there on Xbox, his mum is always grateful and says she worry's less knowing his dropped and picked up safely,

Please don't pick your child up from secondary school. They'll get slaughtered.
There's theee secondary schools near me and they all a lot of parents dropping and picking the kids up. I do sometimes wonder if Mumsnetters live in a parallel universe