What age is ok for these things for kids?

[PerfectSunflowers]

Not really aibu but DH and I have very different ideas about ages so wanting a variety of replies - what's the 'general' consensus on ages for kids to be able to do things on their own...

1. Be left in the bath?
2. Be alone in the house?
3. To go out on their own to play?
4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home?
5. To walk themselves to school?
6. To cook using the oven / hob?

1. 2 if you are pottering about upstairs so can listen for silence, if child normally chats whilst they are in the bath.
2. depends for how long but i would have thought 9 or 10 for short periods to build up to longer.
3. again depends where. If out in the road 5 or 6. If further away like out on bikes 7 or 8
4. 14 or 15
5. if primary school is close i'd stay year 5 or 6. From day 1 of secondary school
6. 10 or 11

1. 7ish
2. 10ish 3)11ish
3. 15ish 5)11ish 6)13ish

But as lazy says, it depends on the exact details of “how long for”, “who with?”, “supervised or not!”.

It also depends on the individual child.

1. Be left in the bath? I would say age 5. But even then I'd like the door open till they're around 8.

2. Be alone in the house? Age 12.

3. To go out on their own to play? Depends on the local environment - age 8 minimum. Older for many areas. And it depends on where they plan to go. Sadly public parks are often not safe for children.

4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home? Age 13, small amounts under supervision - don't want to create a forbidden fruit.

5. To walk themselves to school? Depends on the route - age 6 for very easy and safe route. Where I live it would be age 10.

6. To cook using the oven / hob? Age 6 with supervision. For some DCs (mine!) a little older.

For my eldest:

1. could be left while I pottered on the same floor at 4/5 and left to bathe fully with the door unlocked at 8
2. left for 20 mins from 9 now 13 and can leave her for a few hours with us checking in on the phone.
3. 3/4 in the back garden or friends garden next door 7ish with other friends on the street, 11 before she had the run of the neighbourhood.
4. not really there yet as she’s only 13, she’s had occasional spritzer type drinks but I’d imagine 16 for anything regular.
5. she could have walked sensibly from 8- 10 min walk.
6. with no supervision to heat something simple- soup etc etc 10

I’s expect varied different answers as children are so different, my youngest is very independent and confident, we also don’t have the same PFB attitude so things could be different as he grows.

With mine:

Bath 4/5, bathing without me being involved at all 7/8
House 9/10
Play 5/6 on quiet street
Alcohol eldest is only 11 but I’d say 14
School simple 10 minutes walk 8
Cook trying to convince 11yo he’s able to use it now (unsuccessfully 🙄)

1. Around 4.
2. 9 or 10 for 10 minutes to pop to the shop, 11 for longer periods.
3. Really depends on where you live. Mine have from around 7ish.
4. None of mine are interested (I have 4 teenagers and a pre-teen) so not really sure.
5. Again, depends on route to school. One of mine did it at age 7, but we were very close, then we moved and I had to walk him till year 6 as it was a busy long walk.
6. 10 or 11, supervised. 13 unsupervised.

Of course it all depends on the child too. Mine vary a lot in capability and common sense, so the ages have been different.

1. 5
2. 9/10 for short periods. 11 if coming home from school waiting for parents.
3. 5/6 depending on how safe your street is.
4. I don't know, really, as nobody drinks in our house...but 12?
5. 10 but depends on how safe / far the route is.
6. 11, as this is when mine naturally seemed to take an interest.

It varies really and depends on the individual child and where you live, if there are busy roads near by, etc. With mine I think it was:
Alone in the bath: about 3 (can't really remember though, too long ago!)
Alone in the house: 9, for short amount of time, gradually getting longer as they got older.
Play out: About 5 (quiet cul de sac)
School: 8/9 (very short distance, no roads to cross)
Cook: Can't remember.

1. 4/5 with a listening ear
2. from 8ish for short periods depending on child. They need to understand emergencies and what todo and basic first aid. They also need to be sensible enough to know no to start cooking or playing with sharp knives etc 3)From 7/8 if with a group of friends. I had 3 close in age who used to come home from primary school,change and cycle back to the park. They knew they had to stick together but also were only about 5 minutes away. There was a pedestrian crossing over main road and having seen a friend of theirs knocked over even whilst green man was flashing, they knew not to trust that cars would stop!
3. Mine have been allowed to sip/try from fairly young and now youngest is nearly 12, they would all be allowed small glass of bubbly for a treat. DH and I hardly ever drink but also know that to ban drink can make it seem more desirable. They are currently not that keen although would enjoy a weak Pimms.
4. School allowed from KS2 which for my August baby was aged 7, but she cycled with 2 older siblings so was not alone. Younger than that, I was forced to go too but they would arrive, oin bikes 5 mins before me and I would arrive, check all bikes there and go home again!
5. With you in house, from about 8/9 providing they are tall enough to reach safely(my DD15 is 6'2" and has not grown for 2 years so we do not have a height issue with cookers...other than too low!!) but independently , probably 12ish. They need to be able to put out a fire if needed and deal with a burn. My 3 have been helping with eve meal for a few years if DH is away and I am stuck at work. This week my DD15 has done 3 evening meals. I did come home once to all doors and windows open and smoke alarm battery removed.They had decided to do pancakes and the hot fat had set everything off but house was still standing. I did then say no oil cooking unless an adult in the house!

1- age 7 onwards
2- from ten onwards for short time
3- From whatever age your area is safe
4- 18!
5-10
6-10

1. Be left in the bath? 4/5, if I’m upstairs
2. Be alone in the house? 10
3. To go out on their own to play? My 5 year old ‘plays out’ but only in front of our house and I can see him
4. To drink alcohol - 14? In moderation.
5. To walk themselves to school? I’d say Year 7. But that’s because of where we live, if he had a friend to walk to school with maybe younger.
6. To cook using the oven / hob? I think you’d just have to assess that child by child. At 10 I would’ve been fine, but my sister probably not until she was in Year 7!

1- Around 3 or 4 if I was upstairs pottering around.
2 - My DS is 8 and I leave him alone when I walk around to the shop (5 min) I wouldn’t get in the car and go somewhere though, maybe 10/11 before I start that.
3 - DS has been playing out in street since he was 5, out of sight around 7.
4 - 14/15
5 - DS (8) has just started walking home from school alone (10 min walk, 1 residential road to cross), he does have one of those V bag trackers in his bag so I can track his route.
6 - 6 with supervision, depends on the maturity level of child without supervision.

My answers are dependent on the children that I've experienced, so they are dependent on the child.

1. Be left in the bath? 2

2. Be alone in the house? around 8, but it should always be dictated by the child's comfort in being left etc.

3. To go out on their own to play? can be from 6.

4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home? 13

5. To walk themselves to school? can be from 8.

6. To cook using the oven / hob? can be from 7/8.

It’s trIcky isn’t it as it really depends on the child. Bear in mind mine are still young so I may be over cautious!

1. Be left in the bath? Totally unsupervised at all, 8. Popping in and out 4/5.
2. Be alone in the house? Assuming you mean for a substantial period. 11
3. To go out on their own to play? In front of house where you can see them 4/5. Totally Unsupervised at least 8, maybe older.
4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home? Dunno what you mean really, I’ve really never got to the point where I can drink moderately with my parents so maybe 35?
5. To walk themselves to school? Year 6 (based on our school)
6. To cook using the oven / hob? Ours is all gas, so year 7.

Couple more for views:

• use kettle?
• drink coffee/coke?

1. Be left in the bath? I still like to be in hearing distance at 7 & 8, so maybe 3 for leaving the room and puberty for full privacy
2. Be alone in the house? 10
3. To go out on their own to play? 6 here but very quiet cul de sac
4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home? 14
5. To walk themselves to school? 11
6. To cook using the oven / hob? 8 supervised

What do people mean by ‘moderation’ with alcohol? I would assume that meant 1-2 full drinks, so I would definitely be saying 15/16+. I wouldn’t let a 12yo have a pint!

I'd go by maturity rather than a set age, but in general:

1. 8/9 - need to be confident they wouldn't mess around, possibly injuring themselves / flooding the place
2. 8 or 9, if sensible, for a few minutes. 11 or 12 for any length of time ie over about 30 mins.
3. Hugely depends on the area you live in (and the neighbour kids)
4. A sip of an adult's drink on special occasions if they ask - as long as 5 or over, many people don't know that kids can legally have alcohol in the home supervised by a responsible adult from 5. One watered down wine, weak lager or cider (not alcopops) on special occasions from 14, and gradually increasing I guess from there, it's important that alcohol isn't made into a huge deal and forbidden ss they will just binge when they can - responsible moderate drinking should be modelled.
5. Depends, 5 mins in naice residential area with low traffic/ no major roads to be crossed and other kids walking 6 or 7, more complex route possibly 11.
6. 16 but I still forget stuff is cooking and nearly burn the place down

1. Be left in the bath? 3ish if someone nearby
2. Be alone in the house? from 9 for short periods
3. To go out on their own to play? from 7 depending on area
4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home? 16. I'm sure I've read that studies show that those who start younger just get a taste earlier, so I don't buy the 'forbidden fruit' reasoning. Brains are still massively developing as teenagers.
5. To walk themselves to school? 9/10 if nearby
6. To cook using the oven / hob? 8 ish (if tall with good motor skills)

I wouldn't leave mine alone in the bath now at age 5 and 6 - mainly because I like the bathwater IN the bath and not some kind of interior water feature! I'm happy enough to run into a bedroom (about 10 paces away) to get a new nightie for them now - but since they sing in the bath constantly if the audio barrage of tuneless "This is Me" stops I'd run back sharpish!

1. Be left in the bath? 7 or 8 with chatting all the time until older
2. Be alone in the house? 11 for short periods during daytime
3. To go out on their own to play? 10 and within eyesight of needbe
4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home? 18, children shouldn't be drinking alcohol, bit of a strange question. We don't model it being the norm either as it's not good for health etc.
5. To walk themselves to school? 10
6. To cook using the oven / hob? Once they start cooking lessons at school

I find the discrepancy between 2. and 8. really weird.

Lots on this thread will allow their kids to walk to school years before they'll leave them alone at home.

If your kid isn't responsible enough to be alone in your own home for any amount of time, no way should you be letting them out unsupervised imo.

Discrepancy between 2 and 5

Obviously it depends on the individual child:

1. Be left in the bath? I started wandering round the top floor when mine were about 3yo. So I'd be in and out but not constantly in, and never away more than a couple of minutes. they were usually so noisy anyway it wasn't really a worry.
2. Be alone in the house? Around age 10yo for short periods. I'd say about age 12 for longer periods, or where you can't get back within 5-10 minutes.
3. To go out on their own to play? Again mine were about age 10yo. Ds did go out a few times when younger, but only very local and I could still hear him.
4. To drink alcohol - moderately in the home? Moderately? Mine have had little bits from about 10yo. I'm talking about 1/2 a small glass of cider or a small goblet of fizzy wine. Dd1 (17yo)quite likes fizzy wine, dd2 doesn't like any, ds has about a mouthful of cider if we're having it-sometimes diluted with apple juice.
5. To walk themselves to school? Year 6
6. To cook using the oven / hob? About age 12yo. Dd1 doesn't like doing it, but dd2 can cook a few meals and has done for a couple of years.

Bath? By school age
At home? 10 maybe although I left ds1 in charge of ds2 from when they were 13&8
Out to play? Gradually building up from school age where I live, but know this is unusual in other places
Walk from school? P2 with an older sibling, p4 on their own
Alcohol? Ds(16) has the very occasional drink now, but wouldn’t encourage it regularly or much younger.
Cook? Building up to do it independently by high school age