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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sports day, trans, so many mumsnet flash points!

57 replies

Jorah · 07/07/2018 06:58

Dds school sports day is supposed to be an inclusive day, so there are five option blocks and you choose one from each group. One is dance, yoga based, one has things like mindfulness and Wii sports (!). She's chosen athletics in one and rounders in another.

But the last block has either football for boys or netball for girls.

Dd doesn't enjoy netball but is very good at football. She's in a local team and loves it.

She asked if she could play football - a definite no.

But a girl in year 10 has recently come out as trans. So he's a boy. He now has a boys name although still uses the girls toilets and changing rooms. Of course, he can play football, not netball. Dd (year 7) is angry about this.

AIBU to think ridiculous sex stereotypes like this (boys football girls netball) is what makes the idea of being trans more appealing?!

OP posts:

CosmicCanary · 07/07/2018 07:01

YANBU.

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 07/07/2018 07:03

She asked if she could play football - a definite no.
Why?? So wrong!

It makes me so sad and angry to see schools reinforcing stereotypes!

SporadicSpartacus · 07/07/2018 07:06

Could she identify as a boy for the day? Obviously the desire to play football rather than appropriately feminine netball is evidence of a male soul.

Cismyass · 07/07/2018 07:07

Fucksake OP. Give the headteacher a massive boot up the arse-might land him or her in the correct decade.

Urbanbeetler · 07/07/2018 07:07

Our school would never stop either sex from doing either sport. That’s ridiculous. Maybe a strong worded letter for future sports days?

crayoladreamz · 07/07/2018 07:08

Yanbu. It’s things like this that make kids think they must be trans “I like football therefore....”

GlacindaTheTroll · 07/07/2018 07:12

When it's a one-off sports day, then I think everyone should have the choice of participating in any sport.

Then arrange the groups of players by age/size/previous experience (as proxies for prowess and athleticism) to minimise risk of injury and maximise chances of the teams working together reasonably well as a team.

Original poster

Jorah · 07/07/2018 07:12

There are loads of girls who play football out of school!

Something like this happened a few months ago, a sports thing where girls = netball and boys = football. When dd queried it she was told it was due to numbers.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jorah · 07/07/2018 07:13

I've already sent an email as they only took boys to a recent swim gala and athletics match, despite both being for girls and boys. makes me so cross.

Really don't want to be THAT parent!!

OP posts:

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 07/07/2018 07:14

I’d push the school on this one.

MarshaBradyo · 07/07/2018 07:15

Yanbu
Why are things so rigid, I thought we’d passed this
At a single sex school the headmaster was talking about how good it was for boys to feel the full spectrum of activities was for them
Why we’re not moving on with this kind of thinking is madness

DeadGood · 07/07/2018 07:15

I’m stunned that the school think they will get away with that.

Babdoc · 07/07/2018 07:15

On the contrary, the trans activists are trying to REINFORCE outdated gender stereotypes. If you have male genitals and male chromosomes, the only way you can simulate “womanness” is by modelling all the feminine crap used by the patriarchy to oppress and belittle women, including high heels, make up, suitably girly sports such as netball, punk frilly princess nonsense and a failure to understand maths or science. It’s all they’ve got, but it’s sickening that they’re trying to push that agenda onto real women, along with trying to invade our safe spaces such as refuges, changing rooms and toilets. If they manage to push through self ID, any rapist, pervert or paedophile man can simply walk into a girls changing room by pretending to be trans and claiming to ID as a woman- and if you challenge them you’ll be arrested for transphobic hate crime.
This is what feminists are campaigning against.

IAmLurkacus · 07/07/2018 07:19

The school needs to read the equality act and then write lines on it afterwards. Soooo many, many things wrong with this. I does not surprise me the rapid increase in home education.

Original poster

Jorah · 07/07/2018 07:21

Just to add fuel to the fire, dd got told off for saying to the PE teacher that she was going to find some boys who wanted to play netball so she could swap. TOLD OFF!!!

OP posts:

Teggun · 07/07/2018 07:23

WTF?? That is outrageous.

annandale · 07/07/2018 07:24

I would like to see netball consigned to the pit of fire I can imagine that after year 7 this gets harder for the school as the boys get bigger - my yr 9 ds is man-sized and I wouldn't want him tackling all the yr 9 girls. It's going to be pretty dangerous if there are lots of transitioned children in that situation.

A girls' football team would seem the solution?
I would write a letter to the head but I wouldn't push beyond that. Your dd is encountering sexism. Would she like to ask for at least a girl's football club? I bet the pe teachers would support her.

Original poster

Jorah · 07/07/2018 07:25

I only have dds side of this and a mum whose dd is in the same class as the transboy. I think I am going to actually go in rather than email just in case I have the wrong end of the stick. I can't quite believe any of it.

OP posts:

daimbars · 07/07/2018 07:26

I can't quite believe any of it.

Me neither OP. Unbelievable.

MrsSpenserGregson · 07/07/2018 07:26

I like the sound of your DD, OP

Ffs. I can't believe this crap is still happening

Original poster

Jorah · 07/07/2018 07:26

They had a girls football team for two terms but the teacher left and nothing else has been arranged. Yes a girls football team would be good. Perhaps I can use that as a positive way into this tricky conversation

OP posts:

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 07/07/2018 07:30

I would absolutely not worry about being THAT parent and kick up a fuss until they cave.

It’s this kind of nonsensical gendered divide that has led to the shitshow we’re currently in. Where so many girls are trying to transition out of the restrictions and lower status of being female.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 07/07/2018 07:33

School need to be named and shamed tbh

Ionlylookatthepictures · 07/07/2018 07:41

Op I totally agree that it is the enforcement of gender polarisation that causes children to transition.

Up until the age of ten, dd2 was sure she wanted to be a boy because she gravitated towards playing with boys’ toys, wearing boys clothes and playing with boys. I insisted that at a girl she could do all of that because she was [dd2’s name] and it didn’t matter whether she was a boy or a girl. But it stays young, with overtly gender used clothes and toys. A boys’ aisle in the supermarket full of black red and blue and a girls’ aisle filled with pink and pastels.

When I was growing up in the 70s and 80s I was dressed in neutral colours, and only had to wear a dress for church and school. My toys were a mix of Lego, dolls, bikes, Star Wars figures, dinosaurs, Care Bears, cars etc. I played with boys and girls outside of school. I never once felt defined by gender.

Ionlylookatthepictures · 07/07/2018 07:42

*statts young with overtly gender-biased

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