First 'proper' date

[lottsco]

Supposed to be going on a evening out tomorrow with a guy I've been seeing. We've had a tough couple of months, mainly due to him not treating me right.
We planned to go out, for him to treat me, and jut basically do something together away from all the crap and give things a go.

He's now messaged me saying can he go out for an hour with some guy who's left his job. They worked together for a year, never had a night out before, and he's gave him a gift and said goodbye on the guys last day of work.

Am I being unreasonable to feel really upset. The tough couple of months we had was regarding another woman he kept lying about so my self esteem is already pretty low.

He says I'm being silly because he still wants to go, just wants to pick me up at half 9 in the evening.

Yup, run. Words and crying are easy for a sociopath, as are apologies and more tears.

All this focus recently on narcissists, who can't apologise and can't cry on cue, has meant sociopaths slip under the wire.

Trust actions, not words.

And the reason he changed his mind? Cos you were saying you were done. So he knew he'd pushed that boundary a bit much at this point. But don't worry, he'll bide his time, fish you in some more, subtly erode your confidence some more, and next time he does this, you'll just be glad he's seeing you at all.

Leave now. Don't waste years of your life like I did xx

Oh, and the concert thing? Yup, all a game. Everything is a game with a socio, and you can only win by not playing.

I would just ignore his messages and ghost him.

Let us know if you go tonight and how it goes. I would be very pleased to hear that you had told him you've had a better offer and sacked him off but have a feeling you haven't done that.

So you’ve been seeing him for a few months, but he is yet to take you on a date? What has he been doing?

I couldn’t be bothered with this OP. Just don’t reply to the texts.

I did go guys, it was obvious I was going to because I'm a mug. But it was clear he would have rather have been with his friends.
I'm done. It was boring as shit anyway.

Barely spoke in the car, went to the cinema so he's limited to what he can talk about/do in there. Came out and he took me to McDonald's ......and he was on the phone to his friend who was on the night out , about some drama that had happened. Came back to mine and then this morning he was messaging some guy about the night, and then the last straw was him joining in in a group chat about the night out.
So I just told him to leave.

It was blatantly obvious that was where he wanted to be.
I know I'm worth more than this. I can do and deserve so much better.

Oh and also, he turned up with flowers. A typical man response when he knows he's been an arse but cba to stop being an arse.
I like flowers but these are going straight in the bin.

McDonald's, as a treat? I'd bin him for that alone!

That's what I'm worth apparently. No to be honest, it's not about the money someone spends....I just know though if he'd have gone out he'd have spent more buying his 'friends' rounds of drinks.

I just wish I'd have not gone, so he couldn't throw it in my face that he spent the evening with me. It just looks as if I'm being petty now as it was only messaging them. But coupled with the fact that he'd already tried to bin me off for it. He won't think he's in the wrong. But they never do do they?

Who cares what he thinks? So glad you’re going to bin him off OP, nice one! McDonalds ffs

McDonald's is where you take the kids when you can't be bothered to cook or you're on a road trip, it's not a "date".

Sorry you had such a crap time with him, but it was worth it if you're now really ready to be shut of him. Block his phone number and email address and refocus.

And no, the real jerks never think they're wrong.

Dad thing is, part of it was nice. And when it was nice it was really nice.

Then it would all spoil. Which is what always happens with him. Another posted said yesterday that the goods should outweigh the bads. And it really doesn't. For everyone one good (normal?!) thing, there is about 10 bad. And that's not right.
I wonder if I ever find a man that's perfect for me. Doubt it as I don't go anywhere anymore.

The title of your thread says it all for me: 'First Proper Date'.

The last thing I was expecting to read, was that you had been going out for a length of time already. And yet it's only now that you are having a first proper date. And even that has gone to shit.

Please don't be such a pushover, and start expecting better for yourself. Unless you do some work on your poor self-esteem and boundaries, than you are giving every worthless prick like this carte blanche to walk all over you.

And now he's telling me to fuxk off and go speak to other men because I've told him it's over I've not spoke to any other man. I've been too busy feeling sick I'm not good enough for him let alone speak to another man

God he sounds absolutely awful, and so so immature as well. Please stay strong, you've broken it off now. Believe me you DO deserve better. Don't let him wheedle his was back in with a sob story or because you're feeling low. He is not the right man for you. He's treating you like shit! Words are cheap, he's manipulating you with tears and now lashing out like a toddler. I know it feels shit now but move on from him, soon you'll feel like you've well and truly dodged a bullet x

He's an absolute and utter fucking shit OP. Look at what he's doing to you and how he's making you feel. He's treating you like dirt and as second best, as a plaything to pick up when he chooses.
Block him NOW and don't have anything more to do with him. He's not ever going to change.

And he's gone home and told his mam I'm psychotic. why can't I just be left alone

He's saying it's me though. What if it is me? Was there anything wrong with him wanting to go out with them first. And him talking in the group chat when he was in bed with me. And talking to the boy all morning when he was in bed with me.

Looking at it , if he's told his mam I asked him to leave over that, it does look like I'm being unreasonable. But it's no just that! It's everything. And now I'm sat here crying again, in anger because he's told half a story.

This is ridiculous isn't it.

He is a very dangerous person. Stay away from him. He is making you lose confidence, lose hope, lose happiness.

I know it's very very hard when people make it out like you are in the wrong, but if you stay with him you will live the rest of your life with him making out you are in the wrong. Always. Ignore him. Even if he wasn't doing that, it sounds to me like he really only wants a friend with benefits and is stringing you along. But besides that I think he is emotionally abusive and manipulative.

It’s not you it’s him but even if it was you, so what? You still don’t have to be with him. You don’t even have to have a reason.

Like you said, it was boring as shit and he was also disrespectful to you texting other people so much.

Stop giving him so much headspace!

You'll tear yourself up into pieces if you continue like this.

You've dumped him so block him your phone and social media. Make the break.

Go and have a nice day out on your own or with a friend and don't give him any more headspace. You made a mistake in your choice, so forgive yourself and move on.

It's over.