Manners don’t cost a thing?

[awomensworkisneverdone]

So grabbed a few bits at my local b&m today and left incredibly upset and a little annoyed. Usually the staff are super friendly and lovely but unfortunately I was served by the most rudest woman Iv ever met!
When I was next I noticed she didn’t greet me even though I said hi.
She then began to scan my items very quickly pretty much throwing them at me 😳 and then finally spoke no eye contact “14.53”
I have her my money.
She then slammed the till gave me my change and turned away.
I mean bloody hell I know it’s hot and the end of the day but really?
I then asked if staff would usually use manners or a Thankyou or any kind of engagement with the person spending their money in the shop that your representing? She then replied VERY sarcastically
“ oh I’m sorry Thankyou very very much” I said wow and left
But Na... I felt like I had to go back in. I asked the cashier to please call for a manager which she did.

And then told the manager in front of customers and me
“”SHE would like to make a complaint about me whilst smiling”
I told the manager. But of course he just shrugged it off. And I left
Now I’m not all smiles and rainbows but this woman was extremely rude ! And should not be working in retail as far as I’m concerned!
What’s happened to manners ?
They just don’t exists.
Awful customer service ! I won’t be using this branch again.
Aibu to think there is no such thing as manners anymore?

Seriously?!?! It upset you THAT much that you had to call her manager ?!?! She’s working on a till, in heat. She may have had an awful day. She may be depressed. Yes, she could have been more polite, but to call her manager says more about you than her. You should have just let it go and gone about your day

Well in general yanbu, but I would just make you aware that B&M are one of the UKs best employers for people with additional needs. They employed my ex BIL who has serious brain damage and would prob have asked if you knew your BMI if you were a bit chunky etc (he did this to me haha) I think that some people with additional needs don't have the social skills you'd expect, but I still think B&M should be commended for employing these harder fit people. I can understand you finding it rude, but just try and see if you can see it from their side too?

Actually you will find that manners cost you as a consumer. If you want good customer service you have to pay for it sadly.

I think you ridiculously over-reacted.

Yes, some people are rude, but she wasn't offensive or threatening. Most customers would barely notice.

Next time, just pretend she is fighting back tears because she is in the middle of a miscarriage or just learn someone close has a terminal illness. It makes your own day easier if you don't take irrelevant things personally.

No offence but this women did not have special needs. She’s was around 18-20 heavily made up and seemed to know exactly what she was doing as I got a lovely response from her.. and as for people saying I was rude to call her manager I think if she hasn’t of responded the way she did I would of left it. Where I’m from if someone said hi to me I would definitely not ignore them an not even look up !

It must be very grating to put on a cheery chatty persona for 8hours. I know I'd struggle. When I was a teen I worked in call centres and it made me hate people. Definitely was not suited to the job. I imagine hiring and retaining good staff at such low wages isn't an easy task. Vote with your feet and shop elsewhere from now on.

and then finally spoke no eye contact

Op, are YOU so socially inept that you didn't pick up on this ^^

B&M employ many people with learning disabilities, a whole spectrum of unseen disabilities. Of which not making eye contact is a marker for some of those disabilities/syndromes/conditions.

I'm so glad you can tell what is going on in someone's life just by looking at them.
Have you thought of working for MI5 ?

Op, how do you know she didn’t?!?! You can’t diagnose from make up. Even if she didn’t did it honestly upset you that much you had to call her manager. Do you not have better things to do with your time ?

Ok. So majority seem to think she has learning difficulties ? Because rude people don’t exists no?

No majority think you over reacted.

Ok.

Really you got nothing better to do that argue with a cashier and call her manager

'What’s happened to manners ?
They just don’t exists.'

I hear you OP. You don't expect the red carpet to be rolled out, just a bit of eye contact, a greeting, a thank you and not to have your change flung at you. I cannot bear rudeness. I know that working on a till is bloody hard, and a lot of customers are twerps, but that's no excuse. I would have been very rattled by this too OP.

I'm not saying she did have learning difficulties. I'm saying she might have, or she might have a horrible private life or many different things. And if she did have SEN please remember not all are visible! Basically I was trying to say nicely "it's not all about you. Kindly show others some empathy and consideration. It's not like she swore/ abused you etc"

Op, are YOU so socially inept that you didn't pick up on this

So, rudeness doesn't exist and every instance of someone being impolite should be interpreted as them having learning difficulties etc? Riiiiiiight.

If that had been the case in this instance, don't you think the manager would have given that as an explanation?

I can still remember the time, over 20 years ago, when a shop assistant in Boots (I even remember which branch) managed to conduct the entire transaction without even turning her head to look in my direction while she was serving me, including giving me change.

I admire you OP!

Op YANBU to expect basic courtesy from a person employed in a customer facing role.

You bought items. She took the money. Yeah it wasn't quite the appreciation you wanted from a minimum wage employee but she'll work that out or not.

The narcissism of many MN posters still astonishes me though.

I didn't have the experience I wanted, nothing bad actually happened in fact but I'm upset so I'll complain to her and to her manager.

And complain again on MN! because MY unsatisfactory experience is SO important.

Yabu. You over reacted big time.

Actually, on reflection, threads like this please me immensely. Why? Because the OP has had this experience, gone home and written about it , so this must be the worst thing that's happening to her ? Which means the OPs life must be good.

You went and got the manager? And wanted what exactly? For her to be sacked, publicly bollocked?

Fucking hell OP, given that this all started over the manners you felt you were denied I find your response incredibly hypocritical.

We all have bad days, and you humiliated a member of staff because you felt you hadn’t had the respect you deserved?

Try shopping there tomorrow, I guarantee it’ll be worse!

Oh dear lord gotta love Mumsnet. No actually I wrote a post because I’m sick of rude people. It’s common curtesy to respond or engage. Or is it just suddenly ok to be rude?
Iv worked in retail as a teen and wouldn’t dream of being so rude. I wasn’t bought up to be that way.
Anyways feel better now it’s off my chest Thankyou for responses.

You have no idea what is going on in her life, and majorly overreacted to an absolutely tiny slight.

Op - the point is that 1) some people CAN’T engage 2) there are more important things to worry about 3) it’s courtesy

OP, were rude.