To ask the silliest things people have said to you. (Title edited by MNHQ)

[Mightymelon]

Mine’s just told me that when DH and I have a daughter (not anytime soon it would seem) I will have to stop dying my hair as it sets a bad example but it would be fine if we had sons.
She has a daughter, and has been dying her hair since 1972... 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🙄

Does anyone else’s Mil say rediculous things you have no idea how to respond to or just mine?

Regale me with strange MIL stories so I don’t feel so weirded out 😂😂

After meeting her for the first time, told my DH that I had a nice face but needed to lose about 2 stone . TBH goodness knows why my DH thought he should repeat that to me ??
I’ve just about forgiven her after 10 years!

^PLEASE STOP BEING OFFENDED
I LOVE MY MIL. She was just being weird.
I’ve reported the post. I’m sorry^

Don't let yourself be bullied by idiots, OP. They get a thrill from shutting perfectly harmless people up.

Hidee Hi campers!
A lovely lady from HQ Has removed all trace of mil from the title.
Encore.

Let’s have some fun! Hilarious and silly things.

No offence intended

My MIL is lovely, it's like having a mum again (mine died 8 years ago).

The only time I've heard her say something stupid was the morning after the Brexit referendum when she was over the moon because "We've got our country back".

Oh, and she believes the moon landings never really happened.

My ex h used to say 'pourquoi' as if it meant 'for you'. He did this all the time despite me telling him it didn't mean that at all. He's not the brightest tool in the box.

His mother is similar.

My MIL told me it was illegal to go on holiday and not book through s travel agent, that we would be arrested at the airport.

Newborns should not only sleep through from birth but sleep until 11am.
There was no reason for me to be tired.

My mil told me that after the baby was born ‘as long as the baby is ok that’s all that matters’ I had a horrific forceps delivery, episiotomy and nearly died of blood loss, then went on to develop ptsd. But yeah as long as the baby is ok that’s all that matters.

She also asked if he was sleeping through the night when he was a week old. It took all the strength i could muster to not scream ‘OF COURSE HE FUCKING ISNT’ at her

After fracturing my spine which has left me with chronic pain, my MIL told me that pain doesn't exist.
She pulled a muscle in her back many years ago and every morning for a week she told herself that she didnt have pain and miraculously her pain began to lessen.
The fact that her muscle strain would have healed anyway is nothing to do with it.

Apparently my dc caught thread worms from our dog. Nothing to do with being at primary school.

Ex h actually believed her (also
On many other matters, hence ex).

elfycat my dad made the same comment! And then go to genuinely offended when I hadn't run out and had my hair cut the next time he saw me.

Not my current MIL (who is amazing) but my ex boyfriends mum once told me off for using a pint glass to drink some water.

My reasoning was I was super thirsty. I asked why I shouldn’t use it.

‘It’s just not very nice.’

It’s a drinking glass?!?

It’s been nearly a decade and I’m still constantly wondering what the issue with that was.

Does anyone agree with her who can enlighten me?? Would love to know!

When I got pregnant with DS MIL visited, I hadn't told DD 8 about the pregnancy so she hadn't been able to openly congratulate me. I thought she might have given me a knowing look or discreet squeeze but no. When DD went upstairs I said how excited we were and how hard it was to hide the pregnancy from DD. The conversation went like this .....

Me: we're so excited, tough to keep it a secret though

MIL: excited about what?

Me: The pregnancy

MIL: well there's no point telling DD, you're an older mum so you don't know how this will turn out

My own DM, babysitting for DS as DH and I were setting off for a weekend break in a hotel - I was about 8 and a half months pregnant with DD at the time...

"Have a lovely time. But don't go, you know - MESSING ABOUT..."

Mil when me and DH (then DP) moved in together
As a backstory she moved to this country 35 years ago and is convinced that the weather here gives everyone “a bad chest”, which can mostly be cured by wearing a vest.
She phoned me to ask me if DH was wearing a vest, I said I didn’t think so, she asked why I wasn’t making sure he did. I said he was perfectly capable of choosing whether to wear a vest or not. She shot back
“If it was one of your cats you would make sure”

For the record, I have never checked my cats wear vests before they go out - and no, there’s is no language barrier

My own mum says more annoying things than MIL. She gave me a voucher once and reminded me a few times not to lose it. I find that really annoying.

Mine used come out with some belters :-

It was chos in Sheffield market today, she meant chaos.

She'd packed her 'boyfriend' in, because she didn't want to become part of a international triangle, meant eternal triangle, she was 70, he was 80.

Had a telephone voice like the Queen but couldn't keep it up.

I miss her dreadfully

Random stranger saw me walking our Great Pyrenees dog who was flamingo pink because we added red food colouring to her shampoo for fun (all my family dyed our hair rainbow shades for summer)... stranger says "Ooh, is that her natural colour?"

@cathena,apparently it's not 'machine's to drinks pints!☺,obviously your mil took that to include water....

Ffs!!ladylike not machine's

For the record, I have never checked my cats wear vests before they go out

Told my mum I'm pregnant.
Her: Oh you're exactly like a dog I used to have. She had puppies way too late in life as well.

I'm 36.

On safari, spotted some lions. Guide mentions they are apex predators.

Man (interrupting and looking around smugly): "What about elephants?"

Guide: "Elephants?"

Man: "They eat lions."

Guide: (looking flummoxed) "Elephants are herbivores. They don't eat lions."

Man blusters : "Fuck off, have you seen the size of those things? You don't get that big eating LEAVES." Guide explains what elephants eat and why they are the size they are. Man sits silent fuming then tuts at the lions as if it was somehow their fault that he was a massively bellend!

@KarmaStar looool at machines! Who knew her objection was I was not robotic enough!

It could well have been that it wasn’t ladylike, but she wasn’t exactly super feminine so a weird thing for her to care about!

I'd had an awkward fall and fractured my wrists during a degree (penultimate year).

The number of people who saw me and said, "It's just as well it didn't happen next year".

My ex-boss used to hold team meetings outside when the weather was nice. My colleague politely asked if we could stay in as she gets terrible hay fever. Ex-boss said, "I don't believe in allergies", and the meetings continued outside, will colleague swelling up and sneezing throughout.
This was in a pharmaceutical company with a focus on allergy and immunity.