To announce arrival of child on special guardianship order into our family on social media ?

[fatbottomgirl12]

That's it really. We are due a final hearing shortly and are extremely excited to be welcoming a much wanted and loved child to our family. We have previously put the arrival of birth children on social media.

My friends are foster parents and last year adopted four of their foster children who were siblings (two sets of twins). They did announce it on social media, but had previously included all the foster children on social media updates, not just the ones they adopted. I was a little surprised but the social worker was fine with it apparently as it helped the children to feel part of the family.

But adopted children / those joining the family on SGO aren't the same as birth children, so what you did for them isn't always going to be appropriate for your new LO. And you need to learn that ASAP

Arum

I DID read the rest of the paragraph. I quoted the bit that matters. The important part is the child, right now, not how the bloody parents may feel in many years time. What an utterly bizarre way to make decisions.

There's so many factors to consider in this. No one here knows you/your child's story so I would make the decision with people that do.

@gekiort Then you don't understand what Special Guardianship is. It's not just about "right now". There are huge differences between the needs of a child on an SGO, and birth children. Thinking ahead, and preserving/promoting other relationships, is very much a part of it. It's not an adoption.

Arum absolutely right. There will be an aim to preserve some kind of relationship with the birth parents, and possibly build on it in the future.

Additionally, the birth parents may well be relatives of the OP, and therefore in contact on social media. There may be siblings who are still with the birth parents who may be in contact with the OP on social media.

SS will be putting the child first in all this, but part of that may be some kind of on going contact with the BPs, if it is in the child's best interests.

Of course we don't know the individual circumstances here, but these are all things to be considered.

Good luck OP with welcoming your new LO into your family

I have friends and family with adoptive children and not one of them have been allowed to have the children's names or photos anywhere on social media - I'm not sure why your case would be any different? Some of the children have been with their families for upwards of 4 years now and it's still the same.

My cousin only posts pictures of the child's feet on her Facebook (which is very cute) and never, ever refers to her by name.

Of course they're part of your family, just the same as a birth child, but it doesn't mean they need to be on the internet either. There's massive safeguarding implications.

If you've asked social services, I'm not sure why you're asking here though.

Why are you asking strangers who know nothing about the situation?

If SS who do know the details say it's OK use your own judgement to take it from there

Why are you asking strangers who know nothing about the situation?

Eh?
Straw poll at a guess. Do you as that in every aibu thread?

Sweat does the child think? Is there contact with parents?

What's best for the child?

I was adopted at 8 months old with my brother who was 15 months old. My parents when they adopted us put an announcement in the paper and had a big party with friends and family. The child you are adopting is your child, do what you want OP. Granted social media wasn’t around 20 years ago but if anything I think that would make the child feel more included. Birth parents aren’t allowed contact with the child until they reach 18 anyway, I myself never had any inclination to meet my birth parents, so my advice treat your new child as you would your other child/children x

There is no upside to this, why would you?

If social services have said its okay then something along the lines of "Delighted to welcome x into our family".

There is no upside to this, why would you?

Top of my head:

• child feels included, treated the same as other children
• takes away the ‘taboo’ from the conversation, invites congratulating messages
• let’s friends and extended family know quickly, cheaply and efficiently that your family has grown by one
• saves the well meaning but repetitive and tedious “oh and who is this, now?” conversations for the next however many months - usually in front of child. Changing it to, “oh! And you must be... it’s great to meet you!”

Ninja a SGO is different from adoption, the BPs retain parental responsibility, and the child remains part of their family, although the OP will also have parental responsibility and will be able to make the majority of decisions without consulting the BPs. There will likely be some sort of contact with the BPs.

When friends adopted they went blank on social media.for a bit and then announced the adoption. This was after regular adoption progress up dates. They now post photos and comments as much as others do.

T

The child is not being adopted.

And no not all adopted teens search for their parents either!

I have a friend who only ever refers to her adopted child as "B" and the only photos she puts on social media are the child's backview or feet. I have another friend who has 2 adopted children and puts pictures of them up all the time.

Congrats on this op and I am glad you are happy. We went through special guardianship proceedings and believe me, they are not generally ordered in happy circumstances. It is often due to sad and neglectful circumstances. To me, it is a private family matter - no-one else's business.

I would sometimes be asked about our boy's circumstances at school, not in a hostile manner I hasten to add, and I would generally say that I dont discuss the boys' circumstances to protect their privacy - no-one ever took issue. Whilst I appreciate your elation, it is a sensitive matter.

We don't 'do' SM. When we adopted we sent out announcement cards like people (used to) do for babies 'Announcing the arrival of ...'. Including birthdates to ensure they got cards/presents from relatives.

In the case of a SGO announcement on SM, I think it depends on so many different things that only the OP really has the answer.

I just don't think it's necessary, surely the people who need to know / people who are important to you and your family will already know. But then I don't "do" announcements on social media anyway, not even when my dc was born.

If you SW is happy with this and you want to do it, why are you questioning wether you should or not?

lostfrequencies I knew from your first sentence that you didn’t do sm. Which is fine, but op obviously does.

As a pp said they were announced in the local newspaper many years ago. Living in a community, one does often announce their happy (and sad) family events. SM is just the latest way to do so.

I think it’s wonderful, so long as there are no safeguarding issues - which op has already confirmed. Why is there still such a taboo around adoption and the likes?

Are you doing it for a pat on the back I wonder.

Also, I'd have a little respect for the child and not post their business on social media.

How old is the child?