Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what the etiquette would be in this situation

44 replies

Thisismyhappyface101 · 05/07/2018 22:25

DD1 (11yo) is going away for the weekend with her best friend and her parents. They've been given a caravan for free for a couple of days so it's a 'free' holiday as such but obviously there will be costs involved in terms of petrol, food, ice cream, treats etc.

I want to give the parents some money to cover such costs but I'm not sure how much would be a acceptable to give them? They are going tomorrow night and coming back on Sunday. How much do you think I should offer? Also, how much spending money should I give DD1 for 2 days?

OP posts:
ImogenTubbs · 05/07/2018 22:27

£40 to the family plus £20 spending money for DD so she can buy a few bits. Does that sound about right?

mummmy2017 · 05/07/2018 22:32

Ask the mum if they intend to eat out much.. But the amount above would please me as the person taking her on Holiday.
Mind you I would just use the 40 to treat the pair to something nice.

Wallissimpson2 · 05/07/2018 22:33

Think About what you’re actually paying for, a weekend away for you would cost a couple of hundred quid. I would put £100 in an envelope and give your daughter £20

OlennasWimple · 05/07/2018 22:34

Ask what they're planning to do (visit somewhere with admission charges?)

Vicky1990 · 05/07/2018 22:35

I was going to say £50, but the above looks good.

Vicky1990 · 05/07/2018 22:37

What Imogen said.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/07/2018 22:37

Agree with Wallis. They may refuse to take it, btw, but definitely give your dd enough cash to treat the others if they do.

KinkyAfro · 05/07/2018 22:38

£100 is too much, the accommodation is free.

honeyishrunkthekid · 05/07/2018 22:38

£50 and spending money for daughter

Nectarines · 05/07/2018 22:41

Agree with £40-50 for parents and some spending money for your daughter

AJPTaylor · 05/07/2018 22:45

when dd went away mon to fri i offered 60 quid to the parents, a nice bottle of red and white and gave dd 20.
most importantly dd was grateful and said thank you frequently.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 05/07/2018 22:50

I think the amount you contribute depends a little bit on how far they are driving, as some of the money is sort of attributable to petrol money. Are they going a long way? If they aren't going very far, I would suggest £40 for her expenses, £20 spending money for dd and a bottle of wine and nice thank you note from dd afterwards.

cariadlet · 05/07/2018 22:51

We took dd's friend on holiday with us a couple of years ago. It was helping us out as dd is an only child so it made the holiday more fun for her and gave us a bit of a break.
We covered the costs and said that we'd do this when we asked the friends parents if she could come with us.

They gave her spending money for ice-creams and souvenirs (which she mostly spent on presents for her family). They also gave her enough money to treat us all to dinner one evening which we hadn't expected, but appreciated and accepted.

zzzzz · 05/07/2018 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whiteroseredrose · 05/07/2018 22:55

DD is camping with a friend's family this weekend but as she's veggie we're sending her food for her. We're sending Brownies for the trip and flowers after.

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 05/07/2018 22:59

I’d say £50 to cover food and petrol costs and £30 spending for your daughter.

ItscominghomeItscominghome · 05/07/2018 22:59

We're sending Brownies for the trip and flowers after.

Why are you sending Brownies?

zzzzz · 05/07/2018 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairypiggy · 05/07/2018 23:06

Brownies might be messy if they are travelling by car!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/07/2018 23:07

Not everyone thinks brownies are yummy Confused. Are they for the kids?

bargainbin · 05/07/2018 23:13

Who doesn't think brownies are yummy??

Allthewaves · 05/07/2018 23:13

I must be cheap. I was going to say £20 plus dd spending money.

zzzzz · 05/07/2018 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 05/07/2018 23:13

The trouble with Brownies is that they are very noisy and keep doing handstands for no reason whatsoever.

5foot5 · 05/07/2018 23:14

I don't want to sound mean but, if the caravan is free and the family would be driving there anyway, the extra expenditure from taking your DD will surely be minimal, so offers of £50 or even £100 sound embarrassingly large.

Of course it does depend a bit on what they are planning to do. If trips to attractions like theme parks or water parks are likely to be on the cards then it would be appropriate to offer something to cover that. If it's more likely to be days on the beach or going for walks or something maybe just cake, bottle of wine and a bit of spending money.