AIBU to ask what the etiquette would be in this situation

[Thisismyhappyface101]

DD1 (11yo) is going away for the weekend with her best friend and her parents. They've been given a caravan for free for a couple of days so it's a 'free' holiday as such but obviously there will be costs involved in terms of petrol, food, ice cream, treats etc.

I want to give the parents some money to cover such costs but I'm not sure how much would be a acceptable to give them? They are going tomorrow night and coming back on Sunday. How much do you think I should offer? Also, how much spending money should I give DD1 for 2 days?

I would feel pretty awkward about receiving cash under these circumstances, so I'd probably think twice about giving any. I'd prefer a gift as a token of appreciation, like a bottle of wine and/or some nice chocolates or something like that.

We're taking dd's friend away with us this year and wouldn't expect her to pay for anything.
We are going if she came or not - no difference in cost for petrol or for the accommodation (particularly as it is free in this case).
If they were taking her for a week, I'd give her enough to cover a meal out or something, but if you offer to take a friend, you would expect to treat them, unless there were a conversation in the first instance, about "I don't mind being responsible for X, but if you'd like them to come then we are expecting it to cost £Y for food, drink, and entertainment for the holiday".
In this circumstance, I'd buy the parents a bottle of wine as a thank you.

They are going anyway so I wouldn't give petrol money - they offered to take her. I would say £20 for her and an extra tenner to buy everyone an ice cream and a nice bottle of wine to say thanks on her return. And don;t accept money when you take their child out for a day trip in return.

I’d give your dd and her friend some spending money each. And maybe get a bottle of wine for the parents.

I would think it a bit akward to offer money, but giving your DD and her friend both some spending money is a nice way round it. £20 each is plenty I would say.

£40 or £50 would be a reasonable amount to offer.

The trouble with Brownies is that they are very noisy and keep doing handstands for no reason whatsoever.

I have a holiday home and have taken several children there for weekends/activities/festivals and never been offered money at all
It pisses me off if they don't have money for ice creams/food at festivals but otherwise never crossed my mind I should get cash for hol/petrol/normal breakfast or lunch
Maybe I should have taken your DC !

• a nice thank you note? Flowers?

Yeah it’s free to them but taking another child on days out with treats etc does cost.

I agree with Imogen , the first post. That sounds reasonable to me

When DD been away in same circs, she's been given money to buy a meal for all out

but taking another child on days out with treats etc does cost.

but they are only going for the weekend - not a week's worth of visitn places. In this weather they are likely to be playing on the beach. Send her with a £20note to get the ice creams in for everyone and Bob's your Uncle.

The trouble with Brownies is that they are very noisy and keep doing handstands for no reason whatsoever. this made me laugh far more than it should have

Thanks for all the responses. They're going about 2hrs drive from us and the plan is to spend all weekend on the beach I think so admission fees etc. I like the idea of giving the friend some spending money to go as well. Maybe I'll do that

When I was about 14 I went on holiday in a caravan (their caravan) to Cornwall with a friend and her parents. We ate in the caravan each day so sandwiches, pasta etc. I only found out a few years ago that my parents offered to give hers some money to cover food etc and they asked for £300!! Naturally my mother has neither forgotten or forgiven but I think they did pay up

The trouble with Brownies is that they are very noisy and keep doing handstands for no reason whatsoever.

😂😂😂 love this!

For a weekend, I think paying cash is a bit odd. I’d check if any trips out and pay for that, plus spending money for ice creams etc. but otherwise Id just give some wine and chocolates and make a cake. There’s no way I would accept cash if I was hosting.

Best friend? Are you sure they're expecting you to pay anything?

£20 for your daughter to buy herself some things, and £20 to the parents for ice-creams and treats, plus a nice bottle of wine for them to enjoy in the evening.

This would honestly be plenty.

£40-£50 in an envelope for parents. £20 for dd. That sounds about right. I'd also include a small gift, say worth about £20, and a nice bottle or crate of beer to hand over when they get back.

It does depend to an extent on how well you know them too. If you've had their dd a lot and this is a kind of return from them, then perhaps drop either the gift or the booze. If you know them really well, then just ask them.