Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Aibu or is this classed as threat to kill?

46 replies

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 20:08

Hi, new to mumsnet, I just wanted to know what other options are on this. So basically a lot of history with me and this other lady, she harrasses me ect the police are involved but tonight she came to my house, and she told me '' enjoy my life while I still have it'' I have caught her saying this on video. Now aibu to think she's threatening to do something to me? I'm too afraid to leave the house alone as she is so vile and just screams in my face whenever she sees me. Thank you

OP posts:

QueenOfMyWorld · 05/07/2018 20:11

Yes i would say that's a threat.Give the video to the police

HeGotManFlu · 05/07/2018 20:11

Sounds very frightening, have you called the police.

Oddcat · 05/07/2018 20:12

If the police are already involved I'd give them have the evidence and let them deal with it . I doubt very much if she will actually kill you but there are certainly some weirdos out there.

BettaSplenden · 05/07/2018 20:14

Yes I would show that to the police.

Thebrothers · 05/07/2018 20:21

Assault is classed as an action that causes you fear of harm... or something like that. So yes I would say that is a serious threat. Take it to the police, these people need to realise their actions have consequences.

glintandglide · 05/07/2018 20:22

Just tell the police, it doesn’t matter what people here think, they won’t know

Original poster

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 20:23

Thank you so much for your lovely replies! Nervous posting for first time! We have called the police but unfortunately where I'm from they take days to follow up on 101 but if she returns I will be calling 999. She has attacked me in the past but apparently not enough evidence, this is why I video her everytime now. She is twice my age also, and a lot bigger than me which is very intimidating. I just totally ignored her the whole time she was screaming in front of my children also, the more I was ignoring her the worse she was getting. Honestly this woman has made my life hell, she rang social services saying I have mental health issues and I harm myself (which is totally untrue) luckily they saw straight through the report and could see it was a false claim

OP posts:

HeGotManFlu · 05/07/2018 20:31

I would call 999, this is harassment, could you get a restraining order. You don't open the door to her anymore. Do you have a partner at home with you.

NewYearNewMe18 · 05/07/2018 20:34

I'm nosey, so I'll ask, what's the back story? (Irrelevant of course but Im just nosey)

Original poster

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 20:52

Basically our littles boys who are 4 were friends in school, i found this parents full on but thought she was just overly nice, we started to get closer through school activities, she used to ask for my little boy to go over her house a lot and have a sleep over which she kept on about, personally at the age of 4 I felt he was too young and has only ever slept at either my mums house or my boyfriend (his father's) parents house, so I nicely declined this offer, which she questioned me on. Skip forward a few weeks she tells me 2 of her ex parents are known sex offenders, now in no way is this a reflection on her but I just felt so uncomfortable and I started to distance myself from her, I wasn't doing it in a way that I was rude I just declined more play dates and didn't let my child out alone with her, but she was happy with this and confronted me on my way to school with my 2 children, she grabbed hold of my pram causing it to tip, she had hold of my arm and was screaming in my face to why I wasn't spending time with her, I simply said I'd speak to her about ir later without the children and when she had calmed down. She wasn't happy with this and grabbed my baby (4 months) foot and wouldnt let us go. I went to the police but unfortunately they didn't have enough evidence and it was her word against mine. Every day when I went to the school she would shout abuse at me in front of all the other parents, it became so bad I've had to move my little boy schools so I didn't have to see her. She's been warned so many times to stay away from us, but she follows us around and tonight she really kicked off, luckily I had my phone to hand to record her, not that she cared that I was doing so, I just hope this is enough evidence for the police this time

OP posts:

Original poster

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 20:53

Unfortunately she had followed us home in the car from our local retain park and blocked the drivers side of the car with her car then she came around and opened my door

OP posts:

MatildaTheCat · 05/07/2018 20:55

Ask for a restraining order. She sounds batshit.

Original poster

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 21:00

Hopefully I can ask the police for one after this incident again, I have tried in the past with little success, I'm just glad I'm not over reacting with the situation

OP posts:

balljuggla · 05/07/2018 21:07

You poor thing I would second the advice about getting a restraining order xx

OverByYer · 05/07/2018 21:18

It’s not really a threat to kill, but it is threatening / harassing behaviour.
For it to be a Threat to Kill, you have to be in fear that she would kill you.
Police will prob deal with her under Public order or Harrassment.
A restraining order can only be granted on conviction.
You can seek a civil order through a solicitor.

Sleepyslops · 05/07/2018 21:22

Keep a record of times, dates and what has been said. Report them on 101 everytime. Unless she is actually there and you are in fear - then 999.

Original poster

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 21:24

Thank you all for your advice, its really helpful because I don't really know how the whole justice system works xx

OP posts:

Stopitjuststopit2018 · 05/07/2018 21:27

OP she sounds dangerous and I wouldn’t feel safe around her. Report the video to the police ASAP and tell them you want a court order for her to stay away from you and your children.

OverByYer · 05/07/2018 21:27

Yes to keeping a record.
Also if you live in social housing seek advice from housing support officers

dimplesmccutie · 05/07/2018 21:36

dimplesmccutie · 05/07/2018 21:37

this is by the by but is she from a travelling family... i may know of a similar story.

Dragongirl10 · 05/07/2018 21:44

OH op you are not over reacting at all she sounds truly terrifying!

Please call the police every time, log all the abuse and try to be very clever about avoiding her.

Original poster

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 21:49

Thanks for all your responses I was expecting them to be so supportive. I'm not in social housing but I have made my neighbours aware of whats going on incase they hear the things that she is shouting. I wish I could post the video of her. She also said that my son is going to have mental health issues due to '' my mental health issues '' which is the part that upsets me the most when she brings my children into it. Will definitely be pushing for some sort of order in place, youve all given me the confidence to do so :) xx

OP posts:

Hellbentwellwent · 05/07/2018 21:50

Well it just goes to prove your instincts were right and that she was not an appropriate person to let your little boy be in the care off. She sounds totally irrational and potentially violent with a temper in her.

rollingonariver · 05/07/2018 22:19

She doesn't sound stable to be looking after her own son

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread