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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or is this classed as threat to kill?

46 replies

Mammaof · 05/07/2018 20:08

Hi, new to mumsnet, I just wanted to know what other options are on this. So basically a lot of history with me and this other lady, she harrasses me ect the police are involved but tonight she came to my house, and she told me '' enjoy my life while I still have it'' I have caught her saying this on video. Now aibu to think she's threatening to do something to me? I'm too afraid to leave the house alone as she is so vile and just screams in my face whenever she sees me. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammaof · 05/07/2018 22:23

@rollingonariver I totally agree, but I would never ring social services and put her through that, hopefully the police will alert them as her son was sitting in the back of the car with the window down while all this was going on, I was trying to get mine out of the car ASAP so they didn't witness the horrible things she was saying, such as I don't deserve to have my children and I'm not capable of looking after them. Not nice things for a 4 year old to hear xx

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rollingonariver · 05/07/2018 22:25

It must be so scary op. I do think you should report to SS though, it's not a 'nasty' thing to do in retaliation, it's a genuine concern. If there's nothing for them to worry about then they won't act but SS are there to Help, they do obviously remove children but before doing so they would try and get her all the help she clearly needs.

Original poster
Mammaof · 05/07/2018 22:28

@rollingonariver you are right about ss, but I didn't want them thinking it was a retaliation to get back at her as I would never put another child or parent through that. After all the things she's done to us I've never done anything to her or even said anything to her when she's screaming as that would make me just as bad as her, but it's hard when nothing seems to be getting done about her

OP posts:
Mookie81 · 05/07/2018 22:30

Is this Softzilla? Blush

Original poster
Mammaof · 05/07/2018 22:43

@mookie81 I'm not sure what you mean sorry, this is my first post just wanted advice on a situation that happened this evening x

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Cyw2018 · 05/07/2018 23:01

You need to go to the police and make them take your concerns seriously. If you aren't confident dealing with the police (and being pushy) could you take a friend or relative with you?

A colleague of mine was the main witness in a murder trial when she overheard a neighbour threatening to burn down another neighbours flat. Obviously it is very rare for people to escalate a threat to actual arson/murder, but it does happen and needs to be taken seriously.

Original poster
Mammaof · 05/07/2018 23:05

Thank you @cyw2018 everytime something happens they tell me oh we will go around and speak to her, or once they told me if it carries on then we can do something. It seems they don't want to do anything that's why I felt maybe I was wasting their time. It's been 7 hours since ringing the police nones been in touch, I doubt they will for days

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Mookie81 · 05/07/2018 23:30

Ignore me OP, referring to another poster.
Flowers

rollingonariver · 06/07/2018 07:32

Hope you're okay op Thanks

Original poster
Mammaof · 06/07/2018 07:44

@rollingonariver thank you for checking up, I didn't sleep much last night wondering what she's going to do next!! I just hope the police come round today xx

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Snowysky20009 · 06/07/2018 08:00

No advice that hasn't been said. Just take care today and try not to let it get to you, but I know that's easier said than done X

CoraPirbright · 06/07/2018 08:18

Don’t wait for the police to come around, esp if you say that in the past they havent turned up for ages! Get yourself down to the station with that evidence!! Cyw makes a good suggestion - take a friend or relative with you to give you a boost of confidence. You must push for the police to take you seriously!

Original poster
Mammaof · 06/07/2018 10:26

Just an update, I have been to the police station unfortunately its only open between 2-4 so will have to go back then xx

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CoraPirbright · 06/07/2018 18:24

Did you go back to the police station OP?

Original poster
Mammaof · 06/07/2018 18:36

They came around at 12 this afternoon, took a statement and taking it all the way, that is if the cps agree too. I have emailed over the videos that I had of her, I just hope that they do! They did say that it could take weeks even to get her into interview at the moment as they are so busy xx

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rollingonariver · 06/07/2018 18:59

It's so good they're taking it seriously op! No one should have to feel unsafe in their own home, especially with young children.
I feel so bad for her little boy 😓

HeGotManFlu · 06/07/2018 19:34

Good for you, if it happens again just keep calling the police and ask for a restraining order.

Original poster
Mammaof · 06/07/2018 19:37

Unfortunately I can't have a restraining order until its gone to court as there has been previous apparently, police did at first want to go and have a 'chat' with her but I made it clear I wanted more done. I just hope she leaves me alone in the mean time and doesn't report us to any more agencies, as we haven't done anything wrong but people from the agency's don't know us and have to check everything out x

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HeGotManFlu · 06/07/2018 19:46

Has she had restraining order before with other people. Could you go to social services yourself and tell them what the police are doing.

smudgedlipstick · 16/07/2018 10:43

How are you op? Has it all calmed down?

Original poster
Mammaof · 16/07/2018 11:07

Hi @smudgedlipstick I haven't heard anything from her thank god, haven't heard anything from the police either, they did say it could take a while as they are really busy x

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