to think that this was a really fucking weird thing to say to a pregnant woman?

[LoopyGreen]

In Tesco this morning and bumped in to someone I knew a very long time ago. She commented that I was pregnant and congratulated me. Asked me who my partner was (we all went to school together years ago) and she was a bit shocked to say the least by my choice of partner. Anyway. I'm mixed race so half black/half white but fairly pale, and DP is white with super fair features. Never really crossed my mind but she felt it appropriate to blurt our 'you know your baby will probably look white...' (like that's a bad thing ). I was absolutely stunned! What a weird, weird thing to say.... AIBU to think that her head isn't screwed on right?

Some people speak as they find and have no hiker tbh

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It is weird. Sounds like a real foot-in-mouth moment. Do you think she meant any malaise?

• malice

Yep they do lala, and in many circumstances including this one they are weird / rude.

I'm sat on a train and the man next to me has a weird accent which I can't place and oddly ginger eyelashes but I have no need to tell him this, I'll keep it to myself because I am a polite and vaguely well brought up member of society

It was weird but unless she's awful I bet she spends kicking herself for it. Sometimes the mouth works before the brain engages and this sounds like one of those times.

Such a bizarre comment. I’d probably laugh at that and say ‘why? Is that a bad thing?’. Genuinely curious what her answer to that would be.

Could she be referring to your partners super fair features?
Definitely a foot in mouth moment-I’ll bet she regretted when she blurted it out.

I was really stunned by it and still am to be honest! Is that what people think when they look at a mixed couple? What colour their kid will be lol? Bizarre! Even me and DP haven't thought about this. Made me very uncomfortable. Like it'd be a bad thing that my child would be a different colour to me!

Maybe a foot in the mouth sort of thing. I don't think what she said is inherently weird or awful or negative. I'm the product of a union like yours and your partner and some of my siblings look white and others look 'mixed'.

@VladmirsPoutine really? I think it's really weird... maybe not for a close friend, but for someone you haven't seen in a very long time... who knows. Maybe she just felt incredibly awkward and said the first thing that came in to her head...

Is your old ‘friend’ white?

@mulberrymelody definitely more of an acquaintance than a friend as I never associated with her much, but yes she is white.

not just weird to say to a pregnant woman, just plain weird!

You clearly had good taste in friends at school if you decided not to be hers OP.

@Sarahjconnor - as long as they're healthy I couldn't care less! The annoying thing is it actually made me wonder what colour my baby would be!

@dueanotherchange haha! Never disliked her but never really spoke to her either. She was popular. I was nerdy. The two don't really match up well in high school...

sounds like a real foot in mouth moment...
but having said that, I really like tracing family resemblances, like if you see a family of 4 and the dad and son have a huge nose etc... I just like noticing those things

Totally weird and inappropriate thing for her to voice out loud to you. Perhaps not totally weird to think - I have a mixed race friend (single, no kids) who has said to me that she would ideally want to have children with someone else who with a similar ethnic background because she found it hard growing up looking so different to both of her parents and their families.

You in the grand scheme of things it’s not a bad comment I had 8 years fertility treatment and was told in many occasions
By the time it takes you to have a baby I’d of had 100 by now and oh it’s not your husbands fault it’s def yours
Then when I had my longed for baby I was told I’m fat I need to lose weight I was a size 14

It’s life we live in a society where people think it’s ikay to say what they like you just got to ignore the pointless comments and forget them

Foot in gob moment and she may be wincing as we speak.

Forget it

Unfortunately OP you are going to get weird comments constantly due to a) being pregnant and b) having a mixed race child. Comments like that made by your friend are commonplace I have found, people think nothing of asking intrusive questions about

Yanbu, that is a bit of a weird comment . Like you can do anything about your baby looking white . Have to assume it was a foot in mouth comment, but still a very rude one.

@Linky, I love accents! I don’t think I could resist asking him. Wouldn’t mention the eyelashes though...

Is that what people think when they look at a mixed couple? What colour their kid will be lol?

If it helps, Loopy, I'm from a mixed family (in that all of us are different colours, not that we're all mixed-race, if you see what I mean) and we all entered into relationships with people of a different colour, and we were all endlessly fascinated by what colours our babies turned out to be! It's a family joke that all the grandchildren are approaching the same colour, but from different directions.

It hasn't caused many problems, expect that one time when I was accused of being my own child's nanny when I took him to an attraction with my membership card. (They assumed my son's "real" mother must have lent me her own membership card, which is against the rules...)