Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best Friend vs England in Quarter finals - AIBU?

44 replies

Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:03

Hi - please lovely mumsnetters a sanity check if you will ? I love my best friend very much and about 2 months ago I promised I would be a stand in for her for 4 hours at her work (same profession , different workplace) as she had important things to do and none of her colleagues could cover and she was desperate. of course I said yes as I KNOW she would so the same for me . Of course , there is a rather important football match on at 3pm ...so I work away all week every week leaving DH in charge of house and 3 footie- loving boys. DH is very upset that I have to work on Saturday and will not be able to watch it with them - I have not been able to watch any of the England matches so far as have been away and he was especially looking forward to us all watching it together . I am gutted - but to me , a promise is a promise and I cannot let best friend down . DH cannot believe I would choose to work a few hours rather than watching this 'historic' match with the children ie am choosing work over the family. As I say , i am gutted but a promise is a promise. Who is BU ? Thank you in advance x

OP posts:
KateGrey · 04/07/2018 19:05

Er he is. You’ve promised your friend.

SoddingUnicorns · 04/07/2018 19:05

I can understand being gutted, but I’m with you OP, a promise is a promise.

Wellthisunexpected · 04/07/2018 19:05

You have to keep the agreement with your friend.

NellMangel · 04/07/2018 19:06

He is BU.

LordNibbler · 04/07/2018 19:06

You're not 'choosing to work' you're honouring a promise made to your best friend. I respect and admire you for that.

Andcake · 04/07/2018 19:10

He is being silly - it's football. Anyone willing to be upset about it just needs a bit of perspective. Tbh if he really cared when you first asked him he could have worked out the probability of an England game so could have raised it as an issue then.

We've adjusted things well in advance and most plans for World Cup time have come with caveats.

I hate football but compromise

Original poster
Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:12

Thank you so so much for replies - so fast too !! Already feel better - was turning over in my head since last night - I could have predicted how the phone conversation with DH was going to go - he cannot believe it.....poor kids...we will make plans without you then.....if I explained to her she could get an alternative arranged ..etc etc. She cannot otherwise she would not have asked me as a last resort - she knows I try to keep my weekends off as am away in the week . Sigh. He does not inderstand, and of course I feel very guilty. But that is life - promises are more important than football I think . Thanks everyone x

OP posts:
PurpleRobe · 04/07/2018 19:14

You've promised your friend. Stick to your promise x

BitOutOfPractice · 04/07/2018 19:15

You have to honour your promise. You know that though.

Your DH is being a bit of a drama llama isn't he?

BristolThenSome · 04/07/2018 19:15

Theyre not her hpurs anymore, theyre yours. Your not choosing bf over family. Youre working your hours unless you can get ypurself cover

ShatnersWig · 04/07/2018 19:17

Your DH is a bit of an arsehole.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:18

yes Bristol exactly ! and bit - yes he can be ! I posted a thread a few months ago when he was very upset and hurt when I joked that I loved the kids more than him ....we talked that one out in the end but it was a bit of a drama !!!! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:19

he had just text me to say don't worry about it - we are in different places on this so he will make arrangements without me .. !Hmm

OP posts:
FedUpLetDown · 04/07/2018 19:20

There’s nothing to get cross about, you’ve got to work. You’re not ‘choosing’ to work a few hours rather than watch the football. You’ve got to work so you have to miss the football. It’s not like you’ve decided you’d rather go to the gym or something, you’ve agreed to work a shift so you have to work it.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:23

exactly Fedup. Good point - in his head I have a choice, in my head i don't .

OP posts:
user546425732 · 04/07/2018 19:37

He's being unreasonable, you promised your friend and that's that.

PurpleDaisies · 04/07/2018 19:39

He’s acting like a child. You’re not being unreasonable at all.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:43

thanks all - really x it does help as I was wobbling and feeling bit caught up xx Flowers to u all ! feel calmer now xx

OP posts:
Bibesia · 04/07/2018 19:44

Promises to friends are clearly more important than watching a game of football. They'll still enjoy the match whether you're there or not.

FiestaThenSiesta · 04/07/2018 19:47

Well you prioritise you best friend and doing her a favour over spending time with your husband and your children when you’re away all week. I don’t think it’s him that’s the asshole in this scenario. If this was a reverse, you’d be called all sorts.

Wakemeuuuup · 04/07/2018 19:52

When did your friend ask you? I hope her important thing isn't watching the match herself

Original poster
Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:53

ok fiesta - thank you for your honesty - I appreciate it. DH was there when she phoned to ask me and was happy for me to say yes as I double checked with him again a couple of weeks ago . I don't want to work - obviously i would rather be at home watching it with them ! i understand where you are coming from and it is exactly that point that makes me feel a bit guilty x

OP posts:
DownTownAbbey · 04/07/2018 19:54

It's a semi final so hibu to make out it's 'historic'. It's not like it's the final (not that that would mean you should go back on your promise).

Original poster
Curtains77 · 04/07/2018 19:54

wake me up - about two months ago by text - she was really desperate but I did double double check with him first .

OP posts:
DownTownAbbey · 04/07/2018 19:55

OR is it a quarter final? Which makes it super unhistoric.

Swipe left for the next trending thread