Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Saying hello to child on school trip

84 replies

LuckyAmy1986 · 04/07/2018 09:35

I just saw my child out on a school trip and as I walked past him said hello to him and blew him a kiss and he got excited and said mummy then happily went on his way with the teachers and kids. I feel like I shouldn’t have said anything to him, maybe a safety thing? DH things there is nothing to worry about but I’m thinking I’ll get told off later!

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 04/07/2018 11:02

Personally I would make efforts to not be seen because I know my own 5 year old would struggle to see me and not be with me. Whenever I go to things at school she often becomes distressed as soon as she sees me. I have watched when she can’t see me and she is happy and having fun.

I would love to be able to call out and wave and know that we could all go about our business.

You know your child so you obviously know it wouldn’t disrupt events.

Juells · 04/07/2018 11:03

I just thought the teachers might later on say please can you not do that again etc

Why would that worry you? Genuine question. You must be a very sensitive person. Teachers giving out (which happened all the time :( ) was water off a duck's back to me 😁

Original poster
LuckyAmy1986 · 04/07/2018 11:07

No I knew for sure it wouldn’t upset him and he wouldn’t want to come with me, he’s a very independent child. Otherwise I definitely wouldn’t have. I am very sensitive and socially awkward! I’m not good with confrontation of any kind but I know you are right, even if they do say that it’s not a big deal.

OP posts:
purplerainpitcher · 04/07/2018 11:10

I always say hello to my daughter if I see her out with school. they quite often walk from the primary school to our local secondary school and to do that they have to walk past our front door. I always wave out the window is I see her walk past.

Juells · 04/07/2018 11:18

A teacher might give out to you. It helps to think 'so what?'. You then reply "I only waved to my child, it would have been hurtful if he'd seen me ignoring him". Next time you catastrophise (is that a word?) bring it on to the next stage, to how you will deal with it. Point out to yourself that other people don't give a shit if a teacher gives out to them, and nothing bad happens. They've been given out to, that's all.

drspouse · 04/07/2018 11:18

I spotted Reception from my DS school on a trip and said hello to the TA that I know!
Perfectly normal.

Original poster
LuckyAmy1986 · 04/07/2018 11:19

Thanks Juells, it really helps reading stuff like that

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 04/07/2018 11:22

Many, many, many years ago I had a Saturday job in a local shop. One morning after I had served a customer, the owner called me into the back room and said "Shatners, you really can't call older customers that, it's not on!"

I was perplexed and asked what she meant.

"That man just now, when you served him, you called him Gramps. You mustn't do that, it's rude!"

She was mortified when I pointed out that he was, actually, my grandfather, and was ridiculously apologetic (luckily for her, she'd said it all very nicely, otherwise might have ended up being a bigger deal).

Caribou58 · 04/07/2018 11:24

No problem at all. How weird would it have been to ignore your own son? Except a teenager, obviously.

Grin
AlonsoTigerHeart · 04/07/2018 11:26

Aww my sins go past my house to the local library once a week. I'm obliged to stand outside our door and wave, give a hug and lots of highfives, it's fineGrin

AlonsoTigerHeart · 04/07/2018 11:27

My son's not my sins, although me and his dad are not married so hes a little sin... cute one though

ShatnersWig · 04/07/2018 11:28

Alonso I tend to keep my sins at home....

AlonsoTigerHeart · 04/07/2018 11:28

My son's class*
I have typed before. Honest!

AlonsoTigerHeart · 04/07/2018 11:28

I've got tooooo many to contain shatners

DrDougieHowserMD · 04/07/2018 11:30

Our local school kids are always out and about round town, being involved in the community. I have three dc in the school and I chat to them all, their teachers and their classmates. Sometimes I tag along as well. It's quite normal and if the teachers mind they've never said in the 9 years we've been going there.

Juells · 04/07/2018 11:37

I really enjoyed a Rob Bryden sketch where he was (supposedly) playing golf with someone famous when his wife texted that she'd gone into labour. He said "When I'm faced with a moral dilemma I always think to myself "What would Rod Stewart do?"" That made me laugh, but it might be a useful exercise for you, OP. 😁

twoshedsjackson · 04/07/2018 11:39

Our school's Founders Day is celebrated at a church opposite my late mother's office, and as we trooped into church, I could guarantee a (discreet) wave from the window; even as a teenager, I didn't mind!
Later on, in my days as a teacher, however, I did find it a bit odd when parents "coincidentally" turned up near school journeys, especially when we were out of the UK.........

buddahbelly · 04/07/2018 11:40

I would have done the same, maybe not blown a kiss because hes 6 and im no longer the cool mum you run to in front of the friends it would appear!

But last year I dropped ds off at school, they were going on a trip to the zoo, I left and went and did some for shopping and as I was walking back home the bus was parked up outside and all the children were getting on board, I carried on walking through eh colder when my ds saw me and shouted out mum, so of course I stopped and said to him and his friend, hi, have a good time on your trip, be good ok, and off I went.

His TA pulled me over at home time and asked me not to do it again as they are trying to teach the children not to speak to strangers. I laughed so much that day and said you do realise thats my child and Ill talk to him whenever I want.

I wouldn't worry about it op, what you did is normal to your child, would be weirder if you'd ignored them all.

Original poster
LuckyAmy1986 · 04/07/2018 11:56

buddahbelly see i would never, as much as I wish I could, react how you did! I just don't have the balls. Although I might start trying Juells tip, that did make me laugh, I will try to imagine in my head what Rod Stewart would do, i.e. not give a!

OP posts:
bebanjo · 04/07/2018 22:47

Wishywashy, the lunch time supervisor had absolutely no idea who my DD was and what her relationship was to her friend, and she did not ask.

Grrrrrrrrrr3 · 05/07/2018 07:30

I did you not know where you dc was going on their school trip? How could you possibly 'happen' to be there?

Grrrrrrrrrr3 · 05/07/2018 07:31
  • 'How' did you not know! Not 'I'!!
OiWhoTookTheGoodNames · 05/07/2018 07:37

Ours are out and about all over the local area constantly - very easy to be going into Tesco or whatever and there to be a class of kids out on a walking outing going past to the park down the road or something.

AnneElliott · 05/07/2018 07:47

Don't worry op. DS best friend once charged across the station to give me a cuddle! Teacher was fine with that - he got told not to run off though.

Original poster
LuckyAmy1986 · 05/07/2018 07:55

Grrrrrr I didn’t happen to be anywhere! They were walking down the road outside the doctors as I was coming out. It wasn’t as if I caught a train to a theme park where they were having a day out and happened to walk past them! Don’t be silly. Why would I stalk my child’s school trip?!

OP posts: