To think that if you are too ill to feed dc

[Horridhenry88]

Than you should be applying for pip and blue badge
Background . Dh works 9 to 5 in office environment. We have 3 dds from 13 to 5. I work erratically but as a result do pretty much all childcare and housework etc etc .

So today dd1 had an activity in the town where dh works. I drove all 3 dds there after school. Dh took younger two home and I stayed with dd1. All good.
Told dh that dd2 and 3 needed dinner.
Got home at 7.30pm and dh told me that he that dd2 and 3 still needed feeding.
Now I was livid but accepted it as he is ill right. But surely if you are so I'll that you can't pip a pizza in the oven than you should apply for support.
Aibu to think that he should apply for pip etc or if not actually parent.

Did your DH know what you were all eating that night or was he supposed to go home and think of something all would eat, did he know what was in the fridge or freezer in order to make a meal. It makes all the difference if he just has to pull a pie or bake from the fridge and whack in the oven for 30 mins as opposed to chopping and stirring etc.

And OP, your eldest is 13, they are old enough to prepare a simple meal or put something in the oven. Or you could have prepared something before you left.

I have bad days and the thing I find most difficult is when the kids follow me to the kitchen and start talking, asking questions and wanting to help. It's lovely, but I find it confusing and distracting as I want to get out the kitchen to sit down as soon as possible.

Eldest wasn’t there, as I read it.

Surely he could have at least called fora deliveroo or dominoes or something?

I'm torn tbh. On the one hand you don't work so have time to rest, so comparing him to you seems irrelevant. Is he normally lazy? As if he may well have exhausted his resources working full time when ill. If he is normally a good husband and father I would assume he was genuinely struggling and as you don't work, would help find ways to support him.

But you are healthy, work very little

No she's not, read her posts. She has her own health issues but she has to carry on.

It's interesting that a poster comments that OP needs a plan. I think her DH needs a plan of what food to have in the house for the days he has to feed the kids when he's knackered/in pain.

I live with two other adults and expect no-one else to be responsible for my food needs when I'm too exhausted to cook.

Are I do work. Not regular hours but this week I am doing school about 5 hours during the day and a couple of hours work in the evening. I am frazzled to be honest. Alongside all the housework, cooking, school stuff etc.
I had prepped food. All that was needed was to put it in the oven. Dd2 could have done it but is quite anxious about it so wouldn't.
Tbh I was more annoyed that he didn't tell me till I got home. I stopped for food for me and dd1 and could have done the same if I had known.
I appreciate your responses. If helps to get perspective. I guess I am one of these just get on with it. Certainly I had no help post section and had to care following procedure involving sedation etc.
I can see his condition is getting worse and I try to be supportive and accept that as a rule he has to rest on the bed all evening. However he could have ordered a pizza or something this time.

O and I always have plenty of bung in the oven food in the freezer ready for days when I am too tired to cook. Dh has a cooked meal lunch time so he snacks in the evening.
I sometimes think that because he doesn't eat regulary it just doesn't occur to him to feed the kids. Although on this occasion I did specify that they hadn't eaten and that there was a pizza good to go in the freezer.
For example when I work at weekends I am still the one sorting breakfast etc.

OP, it sounds as if you did as much as you could, it's a shitty situation and he should have considered the needs of the children more.

Really hope you have a support network around you as day-to-day life sounds particularly tough for both you and your husband.

Thank you. Sadly we don't have much in the way of a support network. Things will be better next week when I will be working less hours so I get some free time. Just got to get Saturday over with and things will ease off. This week I have had none.
He'll I have been feeding the kids off freezer food as I can't even do z big shop as car off road. Dh helped one evening taking dd to a club as I have no car. He went to the supermarket to get some bits he wanted and didn't think to ask me.

If I needed anything.