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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really worried about this person’s psychopathic tendencies (trigger warni

84 replies

SpoilsburyToastGirl · 03/07/2018 22:49

Please be gentle. I know a young person aged 17 who I’m related to distantly via marriage, his mum told me today that he had deliberately killed a cat in a really violent way that I don’t really want to type as it’s so upsetting. It was a very personal way to do it though and they admitted it made them feel ‘excited.’ There was no obvious prelude that led to this, although they are under CAHMS for mental health issues.

I’m so upset, and their mum has no idea what to do. Do we report this to the police? What will happen to the young person? I have known this person since they were 2 and they have had a good upbringing and no abuse that I’m aware of. How the hell can we come back from this? I don’t want them near my small children or my cat and I’m so sad for that poor animal that died in such a horrific way.

OP posts:
FissionChips · 03/07/2018 22:52

How awful. I used to know a man who had killed a cat by putting it in the tumble dryer and laughed. He wasn’t a psychopath, just very very ill.

His mother should contact his MH team and tell them what happened.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 03/07/2018 22:54

Not to drip feed but I encouraged mum to ring CAHMS today. Unfortunately his key worker is on leave and they said there was nothing they could do as he wasn’t a risk to himself or others at the present time (this incident happened 2 days ago), I wonder if we should have rung the police. I’m terrified that he might do this again, or worse.

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Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 04/07/2018 08:21

Any advice? We genuinely don't know what to do

OP posts:
GrumpyInsomniac · 04/07/2018 08:29

I'd call 101. It's a clear case of animal cruelty and, in combination with the mental health problems, a serious cause for concern. They may tell you to call the RSPCA, but I'd want this logged so that any future incidents where he is not so forthcoming about his acts will allow them to knock on the right door.

headinhands · 04/07/2018 08:37

Yes, agencies need to know to put safeguarding in place to protect HIM as well as others.

Phosphorus · 04/07/2018 08:47

Be aware that if you contact the RSPCA, they will prosecute.

I have no idea how/if that would affect the person's mental health issues and your relationship with the person's family.

All you can do otherwise is push for more intensive/private psychiatric care, or wait for their keyworker.

FlyingElbows · 04/07/2018 09:00

How can his mother possibly have "no idea what to do"? Seriously. What she does is, at the very least, inform the mental health service providers. If she's got any spine at all she'll also inform the police and let the nasty little fucker face the consequences of his actions mental health issues or none. I have absolutely zero respect for parents who enable appalling behaviour in their children. Mh issues are not a get out of jail free card to behave whatever way you like. His mother needs to take some responsibility for actually addressing this kid's problems.

Paie · 04/07/2018 09:37

How awful. I used to know a man who had killed a cat by putting it in the tumble dryer and laughed. He wasn’t a psychopath, just very very ill

There are some messed up minds in this world.
My DM once accidentally tumble dried the cat, but realised after a few minutes and the lucky bugger survived with no lasting injuries.

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/07/2018 09:45

Call police. This is animal cruelty.

Two days ago it was a cat. Tomorrow it could be you.

NewYearNewMe18 · 04/07/2018 10:07

MH services would be of more use if he is under CAMHs.

Seriously what do you think the police will achieve ? Fuck all. Apart from exacerbate the situation. Do you think he needs sectioning?

upsideup · 04/07/2018 10:13

Does he feel bad and regret it now? What does he think he needs?

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/07/2018 10:16

MH or not he has committed a crime.

I would definitely think he needs sectioning if he has gone as far as killing.

FissionChips · 04/07/2018 10:22

The police won’t help matters, he needs urgent mental health care.

Tomatoesrock · 04/07/2018 10:23

Has he shown any remorse. I once knew guy who kicked a cat around, later in life he would kick his GF with as much meanness. I do not know if it was karma but he was killed a few years after, he was a psychopath.

I would back to CAMHS. It needs to be logged with the police, they need to be aware of a budding psychopath in their area.

GrumpyInsomniac · 04/07/2018 10:24

CAMHS have done precisely nothing after being notified. Whether that's because the mother minimised the incident in the retelling, or because they're simply overwhelmed with cases and not enough resources to deal with them, he has committed an act punishable with up to five years in prison.

Given his mental health issues, I think sectioning him on the grounds he may be a danger to other people and animals may well be an appropriate course and lead to him getting clinical help. What's not acceptable is shrugging and leaving him to do it again. I agree the prison system is not the place for him, but I do think he needs urgent intervention from mental health professionals if he's not to escalate or repeat.

daffodillament · 04/07/2018 10:30

Bloody hell, what an upsetting read. What happened to the cat after ? Evidence might be needed. This needs to be officially logged now.

Phosphorus · 04/07/2018 10:31

No one is going to be sectioned because they've killed a cat.

You can kill a person and not be sectioned.

MH services have already decided the young person isn't an immediate danger to anyone.

daffodillament · 04/07/2018 10:34

Definitely call 101 for advice. Be interested to know what they say but I don't think this thread will last long due to the upsetting content.

SugarIsAmazing · 04/07/2018 10:35

There is a cat killer called the M25 cat killer. He/she behead the cats and leaves them on the owner's doorstep.
The police are aware and the case is called 'Operation Takehe".
Is this your relative?

BarbarianMum · 04/07/2018 10:38

His mum could speak to his GP and ask for advice. I'd be wary of him being deemed as being "no danger to himself and others" until a properly qualified person evaluates him face to face.

That said, there have been cases of mentally ill people turning up at hospitals begging for help because they have the urge to kill (people, not animals), being turned away and then, yep, killing someone. So there may be no help out there. Sad Angry

Flyawaypeterflyawaypaul · 04/07/2018 10:40

Oh my goodnesss the mother doesn’t know what to do.
Is this what she will be saying when he’s moved on to torturing a two year old?
Op The police need to be contacted, if it’s genuine mental health then he may not be prosecuted, but a forensic team need to work closely with him and Camhs to address his needs and make sure he doesn’t reoffend.
You have a duty to other animals (and perhaps small children) to keep them safe.

SugarIsAmazing · 04/07/2018 10:41

What he needs is to bump into a few cat lovers in an alley way...

FissionChips · 04/07/2018 10:46

What are his MH issues? The man I know who did that terrible thing suffered very badly from schizophrenia and ended up in Rampton (not because of the cat incident!).

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 04/07/2018 10:46

FlyingElbows, read the full thread, she has notified CAHMS and asked them what to do but they're not being very helpful.

She certainly hasn't minimised this, I was there when she made the phone call. We are all devastated. We both wanted to ring the police but we want to get his mental health assessed. He needs help or treatment or something surely?!

He isn't sorry from what I've heard. He actually said he didn't feel anything at all.

He isn't the M25 cat killer, we're at the other end of the country.

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Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 04/07/2018 10:51

Flyawaypeterflyawaypaul no, no she doesn't know what to do for fucks sake, would you? Does it make me a monster for saying so?!

She rang CAHMS first because he has a keyworker there and we thought they would report it to the police (which they are doing). She's disgusted and terrified of him too. She has another DC who is 6 and living in the same house. And a cat.

I'm the biggest cat lover going and have young children, all of whom he has been around and spend time with. I'm fucking terrified.

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