To ask how to get this bloody child to sleep for longer??!!

[ColdFeetWarmHeart]

Or how I cope with sleep deprivation?!!!

I'm at my wits end. DD2 does not sleep through the night. A good night is being woken 3 times. A bad night is waking every 60-90 minutes.

She went to sleep just after 7 tonight. Already woken 3 times since. Had to feed her (she's still on breast) - attempted rocking but she started getting in a state, and if she gets too in a tizz it will take me hours to settle her to the point I can't even give her to DH for 5 mins so I can pee!!

I'm seriously so tired. I want to scream my head off and sob my eyes out I'm so tired. My marriage is greatly strained at the moment, and I'm extremely irritable with no patience.

DD2 won't take a dummy and she won't drink milk from a bottle. During the day she falls asleep feeding, in the car or in the pram. It's very rare she falls asleep on her own.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm not expecting miracles like her suddenly sleeping for 10 hrs straight, but 4hrs at a time would be heaven right now!!

How old is she?

How old is she?

We put DD in a big girl bed soon after she turned 2, she was dreadful, up 2-4 times a night. She’s pretty much slept through since. Dunno if she was cold or uncomfortable in cot but loads better now. I’m still breastfeeding (she’s 2 1/2) but at night if she asks for milk I say I haven’t got any and give her a hug and some water. Good luck, I know the pain

Ah thought you meant she is 2. Ignore me if she’s still a baby!

Oh love I haven't got any advice but I had a baby like this and it's so tough (and I only have the one!) I BF her to sleep until she was 20m and then rocked her to sleep for a few months beyond that.

In fact she's still quite a shit sleeper and often needs us to 'help' her go to sleep - she's 3.5 ffs

So have no advice as I've done all the wrong things but just sending love and understanding.

Every time I get fed up with her most nights I tell myself when she's 14 and hates me I'll look back at this age with fondness.
Sorry OP

Grrrrrrrrrr sorry, she's 9 months. Thought I'd put that in my OP. Sorry everyone

Ahh blimey.

I'd start some gentle sleep training. She needs to learn to settle herself.

If that's not something you can do, then what about cosleeping?

A lot of babies don’t sleep at all well around 8-10 months. My DD didn’t, I was shattered. It did improve and now at 12 months she only wakes once or twice.
We ended up bed sharing to get through it. for you, sleep deprivation is just awful.

Does she have a good day time routine? I know it’s diffi with an older sibling but routine is key to good sleeping.

We co-slept for a bit, and still do some nights (when I'm too tired to move) but I don't get much more rest when she's in with me. I can't go into a deep sleep with her in our bed and I normally wake up all stiff etc where I've slept in one position all night.

She’s probably too little to settle herself Dermymc.

We don't have a set daytime routine. Mornings are ok, she'll normally nap about 10:30/11 for 30-60 mins. But afternoons she tends to fall asleep in car on school run, and wakes once I get her out of the car so she only has about 10 mins there. Sometimes that means she falls asleep again later on and bedtime is then thrown out.

I feel your pain! DS got to a point where he would only sleep in my arms... The second I put him down he woke up. I was about to go back to work when he was 8 months & was dead on my feet so we did sleep training as a last resort. 4 nights later he was self settling in 10mins & sleeping through. I know it's contraversal, but it worked for us. I slept so was a much better mum & he came on leaps & bounds developmentally because he was also sleeping.

Maybe it's her age/growth spurt etc. Sleep was getting better. I had some nights where she only woke twice, was going 4hrs between feeds. Then we went on holiday. She started vomiting on our second full day there, couldn't keep down food so went back to breastmilk only. Sleep has really improved again since

If there is no improvement I'm considering sleep training once DD1 has broken up from school for the summer. I'd feel better putting myself in for a few shit nights if I know I don't have to drive anywhere the next day.

I'm due back at work just after summer holidays so this needs to get better. She also needs to learn to be away from me 😔

8-10 months was the absolute worst age for my dc1. She suddenly slept a lot better just after she turned 10mo. She also started walking around then, so think it was a leap of some kind. We co-slept, having never needed or wanted to do it when she was a newborn. It wasn’t a miracle cure, but she did go to sleep if I got in to bed beside her.

It’s horrible though. I swore never to have any more babies during that phase. We did though 🤪.

I really feel for parents who can't get their child to sleep. I was that baby. I never slept well. My mum would give me calpol to make me go to sleep or my grandfather would take me out for a long drive and I would fall asleep. 30 years later I still can stay awake in the car.

Is there anyone who could give you a few hours to sleep through the day until the sleeping situation improves.

Can't

OP in very sympathetic, I could have written your post. My lo is almost 1yo and we are still where you are - still feeding to sleep, waking up many times in the night, cosleeping moot helping much. We are starting nursery next month - desperately hoping that he will wear himself out, that there will be some change!

OK seeing your daytime routine she is probably hugely chronically over tired. When does she wake in the morning?
Try a 234 schedule.
Assuming she wakes at 7, then nap 2 hours later (force this to happen, pushchair car etc) then she's awake for 3 hours until the next nap, then following that nap she's awake for approx 4 hours til bed time.

Ideally she should be getting 15plus hours sleep in 24. 12 at night and 3 in the day. I spent a long time rocking mine in a pushchair so that when they stirred they dropped back off during the day. Its shit for a couple of weeks but worth it long term.

The fact she wakes so often implies she can't link her sleep cycles so wakes between each one. This is exacerbated in over tired babies.

I was once like you OP. With a focus on naps and linking sleep cycles suddenly my life improved.

Have you tried 'wake to sleep', I used this to help dc nap longer in the daytime but it also ended up helping night time sleep too

It's hot, she'll want to feed more. Neither of mine slept more than 2-3 hours until they were about 15 months. She's still so young.

I agree she sounds chronically overtime and with prioritising naps. If you can, put that above other daytime things for a couple of weeks. Even if it means skipping scheduled groups/ activities and/or walking around for an hour or two pushing the pram or with her in the sling to keep her asleep (good exercise - I lost all my baby weight after DD1 having to do this!)

So, e.g.
Up at 7.30
Nap 9.30 (when back from school run) for an hour
Nap at 1.30 for 2hrs. Awake in time for school pick up
Bed at 7.30

Rinse and repeat

I sleep trained about this time ......no controlled crying.....cracked it after 4 nights.......I was about to adopt

That's a good point dermy - I have often thought she just doesn't sleep enough in the day.
In the mornings she's wakes anywhere between 7 and 8. This morning was 7.45. I'd only just managed to get myself out the bed and couple of minutes before that! So then I had to get us 2 dressed, get DD1 ready for school (she dresses herself but obviously I have to do her hair, Suncream, make breakfast). We leave house at 8.30 so DD2 has her breakfast at 9 as soon as we get back home.

I will definitely try the 234 thing, thank you!! I will try and implementthat now before DD1's summer holidays. If we can follow that rule she might be able to get her see nap in before school run instead of falling asleep when on it.