How much cash for wedding gift?

[roka555]

Hi,

It's my besfriend wedding this weekend but I dont know how much money to give. They put a poem in the invitation, asking for money instead of gifts. The thing is I'm a student and I only work part time. My car just fell apart so I had to buy a new one so that was a lot of money gone in a day. I constantly drive them around and help them out. I planned and took the bride out for a hen 'day' as she gave birth 10 weeks ago so we couldnt really go out drinking. I was also contributing towards a gender reveal and a seperate baby shower. Whenever they need me I drive them around and I do not ask for petrol money unless offered but that didnt happen anyway. I really can not afford a lot but I dont want to look stingy either. Help please!

I wouldn't give them cash at all. You can't afford a lot, and probably don't want to give what you can afford, because it looks a bit silly. If you feel obliged to give them a gift, and I wouldn't, I would give them a nice card and buy them a bottle of 'different' sparkling wine, ie not cava, prosecco or champagne. Something like Cremant de Jura (less than a tenner, Aldi or Sainsburys are very good) or English Sparkling (Waitrose, about £20)

You also need to look at all these things you are doing for them and cut back a bit. As a skint student, you can't afford to be running people around without them contributing towards petrol and then some - remember petrol is only a small part of the cost of running a car.

Why don't they drive themselves around or use the money they are not spending on running a car to pay for taxis or public transport? They sound like cheeky fuckers to be honest.

They sound like rude greedy users.

I'd give yourself a gift, and ditch these people and find some new friends. But, if you do feel as though you need to give them something, just make it a bottle of cheap champagne and be done with it.

I was also contributing towards a gender reveal
WTH? Aside from the fact that gender reveals are tacky, self centred bollocks anyway, any costs involved need to be borne by the parents-to-be, not whomever else they can con into doing it. You really need to start saying 'no' to these CFs, or better yet, ditch them altogether.

If I invited a student to my wedding I’d be happy if they could afford to turn up and I’d expect no cash gift at all. Weddings are expensive days out before adding on a gift.

OP I really wouldn’t stress about this. Our wedding was very expensive and the cost was about 1k+ per person, and we were grateful to receive ANY GIFT at all, to the value of 20£ even. For friends who had travelled or ones with lower incomes we were thrilled with just a card - TBH it’s the effort more than anything which counts. Buying a card and writing a thoughtful message would be enough for me as a recipient. Cost of wedding mentioned to explain that I don’t think people need to equal the value of their meal at all!