Really concerned about my friend

[causeimunderyourspell]

This is really outing so I hope she isn't on Mumsnet but here goes. Don't want to drip feed but her DH is just a vile narcissistic pig who has caused my friend no end of stress. His most recent being having an emotional affair with a work colleague.

My friend forgave him but today had a gut feeling and asked him if she could see his phone. lo and behold he was back to his usual tricks. They had an argument, she told him to pack his bags and leave then went upstairs to let him carry on. Next minute she hears a commotion, runs downstairs WARNING MAY BE UPSETTING

...to find him battering their dog. She pulled him away and the dog is ok. But now her DH will not leave. He says it's her fault he beat the dog up cause she hasn't trained him to behave. And he's saying he's not going anywhere as it's his home and marriage. She says he's going from being vile nasty to asking if she wants him to cook her some food. He thinks it will all blow over and she'll forgive like last time but obviously that's not going to happen again.

The house is both of theirs, how the fuck can she get him to leave?

Are you serious?

If she feels in danger then she should call the police. Other than that, I don't think she can make him leave his house. Someone more knowledgable than me will be along soon though

Call the police. Hitting the dog is horrific. She may well be next.

If your friend is on mumsnet. PHONE THE POLICE.

If she's not reading this... please, you as her friend, phone for her. He's been violent already, could easily be again toward your friend.

Call the police. Explain the situation and report he beat the dog. While he's out under arrest she can have time to either pack some things and go to a refuge or at least get some legal advice.

She needs to call police and let them know she fears for her safety - if he’s battering the dog she’ll be next!

The police would want to know about this so they can make sure she's safe. Beating up the dog is one step from beating her up.

He's proved he cannot control his anger.

People who commit cruelty to animals are the scum of the earth.

As are the people who let them get away with it.

If I caught anyone battering a dog I'd bloody kill them, what an evil bastard he must be. Is it wrong that I feel more sorry for the dog than anyone else In this situation?
I'd ring the police.

The police would take this seriously op.

Tell her to call the police to report him fir animal cruelty and also to tell them that she fears that she will be his next victim. While he us gone tell her to leave. A house isn't worth potentially getting very badly hurt over.

Report it to the police, although I doubt they'll get involved. Move out, and take the dog. Maybe stay with DM or friends short term, and if he really won't leave, go and rent somewhere just her and the dog. (No mention of any DC?) She won't be able to afford to pay towards house, so he'll have to do it on his own until she applies to the court for an order for sale

She needs to either call the police or get herself and that poor dog out of there, it's not safe for either of them to stay there with him.

Another call the police op. You do it for her.

Phone the police. She is in danger even if she thinks she isn't.

Phone the police, especially for that poor dog who couldn't defend himself.

She could also be next, if he can do that to a dog, he can do that to her and there's no one else to stop him. She isn't safe.

That poor dog I agree you should be worried for your friend but someone needs to get him away from that dog because your friend has a choice to stay or go but the dog does not.

@dontbesillyhenry yes deadly serious unfortunately

She has said she's scared to phone the police in case they get the rspca to take the dog away. Would they do that?

No, they won't do that. Police, now

I would have thought they are more likely to take the dog away if this happens again and they find out he wasn't reported.

She couldn't prevent his actions but she can do something about them and that's how I would have thought the RSPCA would see it but I'm not expert.

Call the police. What he did is illegal and is abuse. For her sake please be brave. The fact that he refuses to leave is terrifying. I had an ex that did that and then tried to murder me. He also was cruel to my cat. This rings huge alarm bells. Please act.

You need to take action here OP, if your friend won't. Only truly vile, dangerous people batter a defenceless creature.

If you don't act on this how will you feel if it happens again? Because I can guarantee this will not be the only time he does it.

If your friend declines to report him to the police and the RSPCA she may as well be condoning his behaviour. If my DH touched our dog I would report him myself, that is absolutely unforgivable.

She has two options. 1. Leave. Permanently. Taking the dog with her and never allowing her H back into their lives or 2. Report him and let him face the consequences.

I don't think they necessarily would take the dog away and certainly they wouldn't take it from her if she can agree that they will live separately, but he needs to deal with the repercussions of such a horrendous act or chances are he will do it again.

If your friend refuses to act OP, you must. Someone needs to be a voice for the poor dog.

Is there anywhere she and the dog could go just for now OP? I honestly think this situation is dangerous enough that she just needs to get herself and the dog out of there and worry about sorting out belongings and the house etc later.