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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? School says sports day on Saturday is compulsory

457 replies

weekendsareforfamily · 03/07/2018 14:55

My son is in year one, so second sports day now. Last year it was scheduled on a Saturday but the weather was bad so was cancelled and rearranged for a Tuesday afternoon. This year it is planned for this coming Saturday. My boy has a swimming lesson from 09:30, the children have to be in school for 09:00.
On the FB group chat someone has asked whether they have to go as they are working and cannot get the child to school. The receptionist has replied saying yes as its a compulsory day and we have all known about this since September last year.
Now I was planning on popping into the reception to say my boy wouldn't make it because he's swimming but now I am worried I will be told tough and that I knew about this so should be bringing him in. I am worried I will be fined if he doesn't attend but it's a Saturday?! Do I tell the truth and risk a fine? Do I lie and make up another reason? Do I lose out on the money I have already paid for his swimming lessons (we have already lost out on two from going away at last half term)? Arrrgh
WWYD? Thanks

OP posts:
TorviBrightspear · 03/07/2018 18:26

So some of you seem to think that supporting the school means school events take precedence over everything else?

I give up many hours of my time, and money from my pocket (which as a single parent is carefully spent) for the school. How is that "unsupportive"? I have a regular Saturday commitment to my disabled parents. Sorry, not going to be saying to them "sorry, sports day, can't help".

My DCs school has the right idea; sports day is on normal school days and no parents involved.

Many parents, and many DCs have Saturday commitments, precisely because it's not a school day.

lifeisabeachsometimes · 03/07/2018 18:30

Support you child's sports day over a swimming class of course, as he will be letting down the team and house he is in. If HE doesn't want to go and has a problem with it then that is a different story (I wouldn't force any child into sports day)

I think you need to show your support for school and house unless there is a good reason to do otherwise.

lifeisabeachsometimes · 03/07/2018 18:31

Sports day is once a year, hardly a sacrifice.

NotAgainYoda · 03/07/2018 18:32

The "good reason" is in the OP. He's got a swimming lesson. Paid for.I thought that is what the thread was about Confused

FermatsTheorem · 03/07/2018 18:33

Hmm, feeling that sunnyshades may have jumped the shark just a tad in terms of believability here.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, my vote's for "sod off" too. (I do actually bend over backwards to get time off to go to things like DS's class assembly, sports day, football tournaments, plays... but then feel royally pissed off when they move stuff around with very little notice which is a total arse for parents with commitments elsewhere. And Saturday? Just no. No way.)

Racecardriver · 03/07/2018 18:37

As PP have mentioned Saturday activities are normal in many schools. It's a bit Hmm that so many parents have no willingness to engage with the school outside of school ours instead of being grateful that the school is offering a better standard of education.

This is one Saturday a year OP. It really isn't a big deal. If your child is young enough for you to tell them what yo do you should be encouraging them to follows school rules because school rules represent obligations. When children follow arbitrary rules at school they are practicing for when they grow up and start making contacts of their own. Fulfilling obligations is important.

SunnyShades · 03/07/2018 18:42

Fully agree with the attitude from
@Racecardriver.

For a school to be successful, you have to have parents and staff working together rather than against each other, as seems to be the case with many parents on this thread.

Even a few parents behaving like this can really damage the ethos and atmosphere of a school. Which is why they have to be taken out.

NotAgainYoda · 03/07/2018 18:44

Racecar

  1. Not normal in this school
  2. He has a prior obligation to complete his swimming course and learn to swim
  3. I'd say an inflexible obsession with arbirtrary rules at age 6, given the conditions 1) and 2) may result in a highly anxious child. I mean I don't know that but one could argue it, and it sounds good.
NotAgainYoda · 03/07/2018 18:45

hahahaha "taken out"

Now you are just teasing us Grin

mrsm43s · 03/07/2018 18:47

The thing is, this is next Saturday, right? And you've known about it since September?

The time to contact the school and ask if your child could be excused/could attend late, was before you booked the block of swimming lessons.

TBH, I would think that most schools would be happy for a child to be an hour or so late to a primary school sports day, because of a swimming lesson. But that should have been discussed/arranged ages ago. To try to pull out at the eleventh hour, for such a flimsy excuse does send a very strong message to the school that you don't support them, don't care about letting them down. It just does.

I'd contact them, and ask for him to attend late, and explain why. They may be huffy, because you've had nearly a whole year to sort this, or talk to them about it, and you're choosing to do it just 4 days before!

It's for the good of your child for you to work with your child's school, not against them.

my2bundles · 03/07/2018 18:47

No Sunny, being a successfull school means supporting the most vulnerable children, children who's parents don't support their schooling and helping those children and parents get the support they need. Example one of my kids has a severe disability and school supported me to get the level is education she needed and even helped get her respite to give me a break and help me have time for my other children. That is what a successfull school is about, it us not about how many parents you can get to a sports day and threatening to remove them from school.

GameOfMinges · 03/07/2018 18:48

OP hasn't actually said anything about him being in a team or house lifeisabeach, and given that this is a Year 1 child in a state school that can't be assumed. Could just as easily be a few sack, egg and spoon etc races where everyone gets a sweetie for taking part.

And boomboom, if parents are incorrectly being told that attendance is compulsory, there can't really not be anyone in the school on a power trip. Granted, it's possible the receptionist is on a frolic of her own, but even if that's the case, she's power tripping alright.

GameOfMinges · 03/07/2018 18:52

The time to contact the school and ask if your child could be excused/could attend late, was before you booked the block of swimming lessons.

Incorrect. There is no time when OP needs to ask for anything re Saturday attendance. The time to be asking for permission is never. She simply needs to decide whether her child would be better off at sports day or the swimming lesson and act accordingly, with possibly a courtesy call to let the school know if she decides against sports day.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 03/07/2018 18:53

How little confidence do you have to have in the quality of your staff that you can’t get results in primary without managing out unsupportive parents. Particularly if you think not attending one Saturday sports day counts as unsupportive.

You are doing an excellent job in advertising the dangers of academies though.

AlexanderHamilton · 03/07/2018 18:55

There is no way either of my two would have gone. During primary school dd did musical theatre on Saturday mornings. I worked there and a Saturday in July would likely either be the dress rehearsal or actual end of term performance.

DiegoMadonna · 03/07/2018 18:55

If you or your child doesn't want to go, or you have other commitments that are more important, then I see no problem with not going. Everyone is free to make their own decision on that. As has been pointed out, it's obviously not compulsory.

Having said that, the "shock, horror!" attitude of so many people on this thread is pretty over the top in my opinion. Like, OMG how DARE the school take away your free time?! Do me a favour. You've known about it all year and it's just one Saturday morning –don't most of us do vaguely uninteresting stuff with our kids all the time on Saturday/Sunday mornings, just to give them something fun to do?

I know I don't take them to soft play / other kids birthday parties / the cinema to watch some dull disney cartoon because I'm in love with doing those things. I just like giving my children something different to do that they enjoy.

So yeah, unless your child specifically doesn't want to do it, I don't see the big deal.

DaphneDiligaf · 03/07/2018 18:56

Swimming lessons may not be a block but an on going commitment with no option to change times or classes. At least they are in two of the biggest Leisure companies in the country.

Terri84 · 03/07/2018 18:59

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SunnyShades · 03/07/2018 18:59

Aw, diddums, your DC has a swimming lesson or 'musical performance'. So what?

This event has been promoted a year in advance, so there should be no excuses really. There certainly wouldn't be at my place.

BishopBrennansArse · 03/07/2018 18:59

@Bibesia I had to go for an academy as they had the only specialist base for my kids' Sen there. The academy chain tried to shut down the base despite the LA funding it, ended up being made to keep it then made the post of base lead redundant and relocated it to a broom cupboard. LA couldn't do a thing as the base still existed in name. Scary.

BishopBrennansArse · 03/07/2018 19:01

Quite, @GingerIvy sounds like a shit school, doesn't it?

my2bundles · 03/07/2018 19:02

Sunny your posts are full f you will do as the school say or you are out. Not once have you commented on how your imaginary school supports children. Not once have you mentioned how your school supports parents who struggle yo support their children. Well shame on you, you have completely overlooked the main reason children go to school, for the school to support THEM and give THEM the education they need.

GameOfMinges · 03/07/2018 19:02

Sunny is Miss Trunchbull and I claim my £5.

TheClitterati · 03/07/2018 19:03

What does your son want to do? My DC love sports day and wouldn't want to miss out.

BishopBrennansArse · 03/07/2018 19:05

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