to ask with your help re how to respond to questions? (Complicated pregnancy)

[MichiganSparkles]

I'm currently awaiting test results which could give an indication as to whether my baby is ok or not. It's all extremely stressful and I'm not coping with it very well.

I've had a bit of time off work due to anxiety. I've never had time off work before and they've been extremely supportive of me (even if my manager is a bit awkward talking about pregnancy stuff!).

I'm back to work for the first day today, and expecting lots of questions about how I'm doing, how baby is, what's been going on etc. As far as everyone else is concerned I've been on leave the past week and a half (I asked for this to be put on the calendar as I am quite private and don't like people knowing something is wrong).

How do I respond to these questions at this highly emotional time without giving away that there might be something seriously wrong? Without bursting in to tears?

I understand people are trying to be nice and I don't want to lose my cool with anyone, but I don't think I'll cope well with the intrusive questions. I have a terrible poker face and people will know something is not right.

AIBU to ask for your advice? Not really an AIBU but lots of traffic (and honesty!) on this thread...

Sending you lots of love and luck

When I was 28 weeks pregnant with my youngest, some concerning markers came up at a growth scan. We had 4 torturous weeks of waiting for results from various tests for infections and genetic disorders - I am happy to say they all came back clear and he is now a healthy 2 year old.

Not to trivialise what you are going through or offer pointless anecdotal evidence - just to reassure that I was almost unable to function I was so scared and so certain something was wrong, but it wasn’t.

Keeping everything crossed you get the same outcome.

Good news for you on the cf front op (I've been spending too much time in aibu as I initially read cf as cheeky fucker ) best of luck for the rest of the results, I hope they get back to you quickly so you can at least know what's happening

Great news for you on the C.F. front, OP. So happy for you. Hoping the others come back soon for you.

I've been spending too much time in aibu as I initially read cf as cheeky fucker

Same here! Took me a few posts to click what it stood for!

Fantasric news about the Cystic Fibrosis!

LOL at MNetters worrying about whether their babies will have the cheeky fuckery gene

That's fantastic on the CF, hoping all comes back clear and you can breathe again.

I guess if things don't look good for whatever reason, firstly I would recommend the work email from boss, my DH had to do this and the employee was very grateful for the pressure to be taken off telling everyone.

For strangers/acquaintances, just say some statement that isn't a lie, but you can say without breaking down... how is your pregnancy going? "getting bigger every day it seems" or "I'm feeling great thanks" "baby has been kicking me under the ribs today" Even if these are people that you will see again, not telling them the truth is like a protective shell, if you need that space to deal with it privately, then that's what you do, they aren't owed the truth - if you need that distance to cope, then give yourself that permission to gloss past the truth. Or even give yourself permission to lie "going great thanks, how is this weather/change of topic".

Best of luck through this very stressful time.

Chromosomal tests all came back low risk. Now just waiting on CMV and toxoplasmosis. Hoping and praying 🤞🏽

Hi- just to say I am going through the same thing and am having the same problems at work with well meaning enquiries about my 20 week scan. I'm now 22+4 and fingers crossed for NIPT test (also paid privately for to avoid amnio) and CF screen coming back tomorrow. It's such an awful posit8on to be in- waiting and not knowing how little one is doing in there. At first I just cried if people asked- but after a couple of days I could manage to give a straight-forward answer explaining that the scan didn't go smoothly and we're waiting on some important test results right now and it's a bit of a stressful time. People are generally sympathetic and don't ask any more questions. I think it's filtered around work a bit now so people are being sensitive. I honestly don't know how I'll cope if the test results come back without good news though. I will have to take time off, since I've only just been holding it together as it is. I got a bit upset again on Friday as I was hoping to get results before the weekend...

I'm so pleased your results have all been reassuring so far. Take care of yourself.