to ask with your help re how to respond to questions? (Complicated pregnancy)

[MichiganSparkles]

I'm currently awaiting test results which could give an indication as to whether my baby is ok or not. It's all extremely stressful and I'm not coping with it very well.

I've had a bit of time off work due to anxiety. I've never had time off work before and they've been extremely supportive of me (even if my manager is a bit awkward talking about pregnancy stuff!).

I'm back to work for the first day today, and expecting lots of questions about how I'm doing, how baby is, what's been going on etc. As far as everyone else is concerned I've been on leave the past week and a half (I asked for this to be put on the calendar as I am quite private and don't like people knowing something is wrong).

How do I respond to these questions at this highly emotional time without giving away that there might be something seriously wrong? Without bursting in to tears?

I understand people are trying to be nice and I don't want to lose my cool with anyone, but I don't think I'll cope well with the intrusive questions. I have a terrible poker face and people will know something is not right.

AIBU to ask for your advice? Not really an AIBU but lots of traffic (and honesty!) on this thread...

I've been having a difficult time about something completely different but have also found it really hard to keep it together in public. I had one person at work who knew and she encouraged me to tell someone else. Between the two of them they kept me going by being kind but not too kind, bringing me tea and keeping the others at bay, hiding me in a corner when difficult people were approaching. Is there anyone at all you could tell who could look out for you?

It's such a horrible feeling, isn't it, when you just want to stop crying and act normal for a short period of time but you just can't. I kept giving myself this mental talking to "come on, stop crying just for an hour, you're being ridiculous" sort of thing but it didn't help me at the time.

Hope your results are better than you are expecting and arrive soon.

Im really sorry you are going through this. I had a similar experience and found it easier to tell people the truth. People wont ask much as its so sad and awful but it will explain why you may be a little off.

I just figured sooner or lated people will find out whatever the outcome. My son had PFFD which resulted in a very significant physical disability. It's also very rare.

I'm so sorry you are going through this and that you have to be at work due to shit sick pay.

Thanks everyone. I have a go to person at work but she is on leave! Typical. Spoke to antenatal and it wasn't them who called. My heart was racing when I called them. Absolutely convinced we are both going to be positive carriers. I just have this weird gut feeling. Praying I am wrong.

@aurynne I think I messaged you back. Trying to work mn out! Thank you x

for you and your baby op x

Thank you @ZigZagIntoTheBlue x

What are the chances of the hospital getting back to me about results after 15:40 on a Tuesday? they said I would probably have them today. Wish they hadn't have said that as I've been on tenterhooks all day!

Any news yet?

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way

@LotToLose nothing today. Was meant to receive CF results today but they didn't come for some reason. Praying that they'll be here tomorrow. My heart is in my throat. I feel sick...

I'll be sure to update either way. Whether I'll be sharing happy news or asking for further support I have no idea!

Thank you xx

Sosks ☹️

Fingers toes and everything crossed today 🤞🏽

Thinking of you OP

Keeping everything crossed for you. I was in your position two years ago and I couldn’t go to work whilst waiting for various results (this took 6 weeks!) as I was like you, bursting into tears at the thought of a baby. It was a dark time. Our pregnancy sadly ended and I was off sick for about a month afterwards, and on return my employers asked my permission to send an all users telling everyone that I had just had a loss and they asked everyone to be mindful around me when I returned. I thought this was really good as I didn’t have to pretend that I was ok when I wasn’t, and no one asked me any questions, which was great.

Thinking of you today OP. I hope you get good news!

Ive seen your threads and I'm wishing you the best news possible.

Fingers/toes/eyes crossed for you xx

Just wanted to pop on and send my best wishes and positive vibes - i had an issue found at my 20 week scan last year which ended in a termination for medical reasons - completely different issue to yours though - so I know first hand how hard the waiting period can be. In fact, it’s the absolute worst as it’s all you can think about.
I really hope you have a positive outcome, and are doing okay. I sent an email
to a few choice coworkers just saying I hope you don’t mind my emailing but I find it really difficult to talk about, this is happening, so i’m
really distracted, upset and not
myself at the moment.
They were really good, left me be but talked if I wanted to.
Keeping absolutely everything crossed for you OP. xxx

Thanks everyone. @WonderTweek @mmmgoats I'm so sorry you both had to go through that. You'd think it'd make you feel better knowing that other people had been through similar and that you're not alone but actually it just makes me feel sad. Nobody should have to lose a baby so late on in their pregnancy. So sorry. & thank you kindly for your well wishes. I've never been such a mess in my life.

Work was ok yesterday. A few people asked how the baby was, and I just responded by telling them 'I hope they're ok but you never really know do you' - very vague but enough for them to not ask any more questions. It's tough. Thankfully they're all very kind and supportive.

Thanks again

Hope you get some good news today OP

Fingers crossed for you today .

Not too similar but I lost a baby at 20 weeks last year and I asked my manager to let others know. I couldn't speak about it without crying and once I started crying I couldn't stop so anyone asking questions or having to explain would have been difficult.

Really hope everything works out for you x

Thanks everybody.

@Fairylightsandwine I know almost nothing about CF and haven't done much googling so it's nice to hear from someone who has experienced it. My friend died of CF, but that was years ago and he was 19 so born in a time where treatment wasn't quite like it is now.

It's a confusing time for me and DP. Still haven't heard anything yet. Going a bit nuts!

Didn't want to read and run for you OP. I'm so sorry to hear about everything but glad yesterday wasn't too bad to face. Hope you get some results back today.

My friend has a CF baby but you would never guess looking at him. He's just recently turned 8 and is one of the most joyful boys you will ever meet. I do think treatments are much better now so there are more options for you.

I know it's hard but try to enjoy each kick.another friend's three babies were all born between 25 and 30 weeks. All now adorable and the youngest going into high school. She used to cherish each kick for positive memories not knowing whether any of her three would be born safely. She started contractions at 22 weeks with the youngest and the hospital did everything they could to avoid him being born too early. He was the one born at 25 weeks and you'd never know there were ever any fears at the time of birth.

They're not quite the same as you but I wanted to give some positives stories. Cherish those kicks and I really hope you get some results today.

Just wanted to say I understand waiting for results and I hope you get a positive outcome

Neither of us are CF carriers! Just heard from hospital and no CF gene found. Now just have to wait for the infection screen results and chromosomal NIPT. 1 down 2 to go...

Dont know much about it but hope that is good news and brings some sort of relief.