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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nursery were a bit tactless

74 replies

BlueKarou · 03/07/2018 00:17

This is probably an over reaction due to the heat and general life stresses, hormones, all that sort of thing.

My two year old goes to nursery one morning a week. He loves it there. It's all I can afford until he's 3, as I'm a single mum working 4 days a week and ending most months in my overdraft after mortgage and bills and all that. I am, for these reasons, probably quite touchy about money things.

I got an email this evening from nursery saying that for the next 2 weeks they will have a theme of 'around the world', and could we please bring 'a photo or a selection of photos' from a recent holiday so they can 'can share with all the children the different places around the world that we can all travel to and learn from.'

I get that they're picking something topical for the end of term, but in the last two years I have been worse off financially than ever before, and the thought of taking my son on a holiday, abroad or not, has been so low on the priorities list. We have done one daytrip to the sea, and that's about it.

He won't care if he's not able to bring a photo in, but I'm feeling more than a little bit shit about it. I give him everything I can, and I will be forever indebted to my mother for helping me out with childcare, and she does spoil him so he's not wanting for much, yet this casual email about holidays has left me feeling all these inadequacies I wasn't aware I felt.

Sorry - I've rambled on and lost the AIBU!

Is there anything I could/should say to nursery? Or do I just keep my head down and hope no one mentions it? I don't know any of the other parents, so I don't know whether they're all jetsetters or whether there's anyone else in a similar boat to me.

OP posts:
Cadencia · 03/07/2018 10:06

Don't worry OP. The reason why nursery are doing this is that one of the Early Learning Goals is 'Understanding the World'. This is just a box ticking exercise!

Serin · 03/07/2018 10:07

Yes that is insensitive. I love the idea of photo shopping him into glamorous locations or just send a picture of him eating an ice cream/on a donkey at the beach.

musicinthe00ssucks · 03/07/2018 10:08

Hi OP. Don't worry, I highly doubt many of the children will have been abroad on holiday. My two went to nursery in an affluent area and honestly I can count on one hand how many of their classmates had been abroad.

StealthPolarBear · 03/07/2018 10:08

Do you have family or friends abroad? Could they send a few photos and facts?

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 03/07/2018 10:10

My 4 and almost 2 yo have never been abroad, the thought of taking them on a plane even if I could afford it fills me with dread.

I always email in photos to nursery when they ask. If I remember.

You are doing your best for your boy, please don’t feel bad.

flamingofridays · 03/07/2018 10:12

op don't worry about it, my 2yo has never been abroad either! I am not sure many 2 year olds will have been abroad and if they have its not like they will remember it so don't feel badly about it.

I do understand though Flowers

dentydown · 03/07/2018 10:15

I wouldn’t worry about it, it is probably to go In Their early years folder.
Can you take him to a local wood and pretend you are in the jungle, take photos there? Imaginary tigers and lions and the like?

Tinlegs · 03/07/2018 10:16

What about a photo montage of "eating around the world"? Our food is so brilliant now, from so many places - bananas, Thai food, pizza, etc. He could get involved in looking for things he eats regularly.

Scrumptiousbears · 03/07/2018 10:26

They did this at my nursery and it made me laugh as it just bought out the worst in people. It was announced on the nursery FB Page and then in came the comments "heres little Jonny on his holiday in Spain", "oh here's Jane on her holiday in Crete" "oh we are taking Ben to Dubai soon". It just got into a competition fest. Amusing to sit back and what the huns in competition.

Racecardriver · 03/07/2018 10:29

We've taken only travelling with children to visit family. If I didn't have family abroad we wouldn't bother.

OwlBeThere · 03/07/2018 10:36

my children's first holiday abroad was when they were 8, 10 and 12. their first ever holiday anywhere was when dd2 was a toddler so they'd have been almost 2, 4 and 5.and that was about 30 mins down the road on the welsh coast (which by the way, is spectacularly beautiful and competes with any sea side in the world imo). don't feel bad. I think on the nursery's part...it isn't insensitive, its just a theme to get some pictures up and to build activities round.

Brunsdon1 · 03/07/2018 10:36

I get it OP I really do

I would feel the same...yeah it's a case of battling through and just sending some photos from a day in the garden or something but it can make you feel crap

I've had a he'll of a two years and holidays did and sort of still do seem a mystical concept that happen to other people....he won't feel deprived I promise

The love and care and the metaphorical kicking up the butt to clean his teeth or put his socks on (no dear on your feet not your hands) means far more in the long run than any holiday

MrsPreston11 · 03/07/2018 10:38

Does he like Go Jetters?

My youngest really enjoys it and then will want to get a book about that place from the library etc.

Can tell you all about India, China, Peru etc etc. And trust me we won't be travelling to those places with young kids!

So you could maybe do it from that angle?

Surely if people do it holiday all you're gonna learn about is the Med anyway? Seems a silly way to word what they're after.

icelollycraving · 03/07/2018 10:41

Go Jetters is a brilliant idea!

NoProbLlama78 · 03/07/2018 10:50

I know its not the point of the thread but as a single mum aren't you eligible for 15 hours at nursery? Have you looked into claiming tax credits to help with childcare?

I'm not taking DD out of the country for a few years I agree with other posters. It's an odd request. I think a more appropriate one would be to ask other people to send your child a post card.

TheVanguardSix · 03/07/2018 10:57

Yours and the majority of nursery children will not have been on a fancy holiday.
If you have a photo of him in a splashpool or a weekend away at Nana's or something, that'll be fine!

You learn to wing it/fake it a bit during the school years. You're just finding out sooner rather than later. Flowers

butteriesplease · 03/07/2018 10:59

Iwould say that at this age, kids are more thinking about 'I went to the beach and got an icecream' rather than 'I went to a swanky resort on the other side of the globe'.

Nursery are idiots. My kids haven't had that kind of holiday either - they visit family or we go camping here. they enjoy it. I would focus on activities you've done, rather than locations.

Could just email them some pics of ice cream, generic beaches and nice parks?

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 03/07/2018 11:01

Are you not entitled to 15 free hours?

ScattyCharly · 03/07/2018 11:05

A printed out beach pic labelled “seaside” will be fine
Neither of mine had been on holiday aged 2
Don’t worry about it

montenuit · 03/07/2018 11:07

Firstly very few children at age 3 will have been on a long haul flight (unless their parents are nuts).
They may have family abroad they have visited.
They may be from a different country and have come from / visited there.

Also remember the nursery nurses are generally on minimum wage. no one is looking down on you.

Cath2907 · 03/07/2018 11:07

We aren't particularly short of money but have never taken DD (aged 7) out of the country. She is more than happy in our caravan somewhere in the UK!

Oysterbabe · 03/07/2018 11:11

I honestly think my 2 year old would enjoy softplay more than any other experience it's possible to have anywhere in the world. She asks to go to softplay about 19 times an hour.

viques · 03/07/2018 11:12

I love the idea of Photoshopping him at the Taj, preferably sitting next to princess Di . "I sat on a bench , there was a lady pretending to be sad" The nursery staff will love you forever!

likeacrow · 03/07/2018 11:16

YANBU. They were more than a bit tactless.

Our family holiday this year is 3 nights in Blackpool ☺

likeacrow · 03/07/2018 11:18

PS if you don't find it too embarrassing I prob would mention something to the nursery tbh.