Aibu to be cross at his teacher?

[nettynoodle]

My son is 9. He had decided he wants to grow his hair into a ponytail like his dad use to have.
Who am I to argue as long as he washes and brushes it. That’s the deal.
So it’s at an annoying length right now. Just sweeping across one eye in the fringe bit.
So my aibu is.... today his teacher put a hair clip in it. Not because he asked just because it annoys her being in his face.
Now I’ve tried to tie it up but it looks daft having just the fringe in a top knot with the back so long (but not long enough to tie up)
Now I think she should have spoken to me and said noodles childs hair is getting in his face can you please see if you can find a way to sort this out. Rather than taking matters into her own hands.
So am I aibu to be annoyed?

Was he upset or distressed by it?

Unless it was getting on his nerves and preventing him from working, YANBU.

I wouldn't touch one of my pupil's hair unless they asked me to.

You are being unreasonable.

Not because he asked just because it annoys her being in his face.

Or, more likely, because he couldn't see his work.

Was it in the way of him doing his work?
Was your son having to keep moving it away?
Is there a rule at the school about not having hair dangling and loose?

We do hand out elastics and clips to children who have long hair and it is annoying them, and insist on longer hair being tied back for PE. In older years, most schools also insist on this for other practical lessons such as art and science.

Was your son bothered by it?

I would recommend a hairband of some form, whilst his fringe is growing out, just like I do for any child in that situation, girl or boy.

What do school rules say about acceptable bots haircuts? I would have done the same as the teacher tbh. If the hairs in his eyes, he can't follow whatever they were reading or writing

It will take a while to grow and by the time next term comes he might want it cut, but have you checked how this hair style fits into school policy? I'm sure it will be fine, especially now a days when there is more 'equality' in girls and boys being allowed same hair and clothing uniform wise. But just incase? I don't think my schools would have allowed it when I was at school

YABU. Children shouldn't have hair in their face at school. You are actually lucky that they let him grow it at all. Just gel it back from now on.

Is it a school rule that hair needs to be tied up out of the eyes and out of the way? YABU for allowing your child to have a hairstyle that gets in the way of him seeing. Teacher probably thought if you were capable of sorting it out, you would have done.
But that is the problem when staff are made responsible for all the stuff parents used to do. Where do you draw the line?

I think she should have given your son a clip to use, rather than doing it herself. I think I would be a bit upset, too, OP.

Most schools have rules about hair which would include it covering eyes.

You either need to cut the fringe or find a way of keeping it out of his face.

bramble what exactly would upset you about it?

Yab totally unreasonable from the information you have given us

YABU - as a teacher, it is hard to communicate effectively with a child that has their eyes covered by hair. Students tend to hide behind their fringe to avoid making eye contact.

My son is doing same and is also at the awkward stage. I send him in with hair clips and Alice bands and I know it's driving his teacher nuts (he takes the clips out and I find them in his bag), because he tells me she's spoken to him about it. I've told him that if he won't behave sensibly to keep his hair off his face then he either has it cut or sucks it up when he gets a bollocking. Not long left of the term and then hopefully by September it will be long enough to tuck behind his ears.

In short, DS' hair is his responsibility; either he wears a clip or puts up with it when the teacher puts one in.

Which bit of it upsets you?

Why on earth would it upset you?

He needs to wear a band or clip to keep his hair out of his eyes at school. For P.E. and practical sessions such as Art presumably longer hair has to be tied up as well.

Presumably the teacher was fed up with waiting for a parent to sort out this for your DS, having seen him flick his hair out of his eyes every 2 minutes during the school day.

OP is BVU.

Presumably you can take the clip out at the end of the day - she didn't weld it to his head?

Unless there's a massive drip feed, I don't see the issue. Personally, I'd hand the clip to the student for them to use.

If it was in his eyes, making it harder to read/write, he was having to continually flick it etc then the teacher is more than reasonable.

I could understand you being upset if his hair was cut but a clip... seriously?!

If it was a girl I would’ve done the same.

If a child’s hair is in their face and stopping them working (sounds to me like he may have been distracting others/was distracted himself/couldn’t see - you do say it’s annoying yourself) then a hair clip/band etc is nec.

Now he’s 9 and no 9 year old I know just let’s someone put something in their hair. It’s not like she’s pinned him down, eh?

I think you’re being unreasonable and I think you’re more annoyed that you knew you should’ve sorted it, not the teacher.

YABU

hair shouldn’t be in a child’s face when they’re at school, male or female. Presumably the teacher felt it was affecting his concentration and learning, she gave him an easy, temporary solution to the problem since you hadn’t bothered to

I am a teacher and have done this. I would do the same to a girl so feel it was only fair to do it to a boy. The boy was a super cool 8 year old who did not mind at all. He was then able to see his work. He later asked me if I could bring him in a hairband the next day. I would never for one minute have done it if I felt this would upset the child. I regularly tie girls hair up if they come to school with it lose. It is a school rule for all to follow.