To ask more experienced parents about girls playing with “boys’ toys” at nursery

[StupidNurseryQuestion]

DD(3) is about to start nursery. It’s attached to the school that we hope she’ll go to in the future too.

My secret midnight worry about nursery is that she is simply not interested in traditionally “girly” toys at all. She has a toy box full of cars and a ride on car; a road map and a garage; and DP’s 30 year old brio, and that’s what she plays with. Dolls gather dust and the Belle dress she swore blind she wanted from Tesco hangs in the wardrobe with the tags still on it! When she watches tv, she only wants Thomas or Blaze and the Monster Machines.

Now I don’t care what she likes/plays with, so long as she’s having fun and learning, but I DO want her to be happy at nursery. I’ve taken her for several play dates recently where the other little girls have dollhouses and fairy wings etc, and DD just looks blank and asks where their cars are. Meanwhile when they came to us, they clearly had zero interest in the cars that DD really wanted to show them One of them wanted to play “Frozen”, because she’s Elsa mad, and I realised DD had never seen it. Tried to show her - she wouldn’t even watch the opening scene before demanding Blaze again (I was quite disappointed as I’ve never seen it either!).

So my question - is this likely to cause any issues at nursery? I don’t want her not to have little friends or anyone to play with because she’s not interested in the same sort of toys/games. Am I overthinking it? She is PFB - as if you couldn’t tell ! - and I just have this image of her being left alone in the playground. Do lots of other little girls like trains and cars? Do the kids all just play together in a big group? Please say they do and that I’ve just been unlucky with the play dates so far!

Loads of girls like trains and cars. She’s also allowed to play with boys too, isn’t she?

Ask one of the boys round instead!

It's a nursery. They will have a large variety of toys that all the kids play with.
She can also be friends with boys.
Stop worrying.

My experiences of nurseries is that the kids all play together - they don't mind at all whether they playmates are boys or girls. So even if the girls aren't interested in the same things she is, she will still have lots of friends!

I don't think a nursery has boys toys and girls toys? They just have toys.

I have never heard brio described as a boys toy.

Well, of course it will depend on the nursery, but as the mother of a little boy often referred to as ‘not the rough-and-tumble type’, I say it will be fine. DS took a little while to make friends but he now has a little group that he always plays with - both girls and boys, who like the same sort of play he does.
IME children don’t think so much in terms of boys and girls toys unless the adults around lead them into it, hence my comment about it depending on the type of nursery.
I’m sure your DD will find her tribe too.

Won't make any difference at all at nursery. My little boy loves pushing a pram around with the other boys in his pre-school class.

Sorry I meant to add - of course she can play with boys, but just the way the cookie has crumbled, most of my friends with children the same age had girls, and the nursery group will be nearly all girls.

I am so glad everyone immediately thinks it won’t be an issue. It’s been pecking away at me in the middle of the night since the last rather disastrous play date!!

You’re being daft, she’ll make friends .

Our nursery is really good, generally the kids just play with whatever they want to.

Lots of painting, playing with water or in the sandpit, riding the bikes etc. There are all sorts of toys inside, and the staff certainly don't police who plays with what.

Nurseries and cms are not allowed to have girls/boys toys they just have toys all the kids access.

My 2 dds both after 4 boys hated dolls and loved cars etc. Also anything arty crafty and boisterous.

She will be fine

She will be fine at nursery, they mix them all up and they will find friends with similar interests. Do not overthink it, go with the flow :)

My sons nursery seems to discourage super girly toys. Same for super boyish. Most of it is just brightly coloured cars, blocks, baby dolls, plates and utensils, paints etc. Children seem to play with all of it together.

A nursery should not be defining toys by their 'intended' player. The boys will probably want to play with the prams as they like pushing things and girls will be more than welcome to play with whatever they like.

Sexualisation and stereotyping is starting earlier and earlier. The degree will depend on the nursery staff, and I looked at several before finding one that best suited DD. Unfortunatly you may want to think about how you dress her to give out the right messages,

You may also find that if the girls are praised for being caring when playing with dolls, and not when playing with trains that her preferences will change.

I love trains

I think all the kids play with everything at nursery. They do at ours anyway - some days my son comes back saying he’s been playing with Barbies or tea sets, some days it’s cars and dinosaurs. Don’t overthink it, it’ll be fine!

You’re all brilliant thanks.

Never has an OP been so glad to be told she is BU!

I always liked "boys things" still do tbh . Shame we have to split toys into boy/ girl categories.

She'l be fine ! Not done me any harm I'm cool as fuck to be honest

Luckily, she's too young to understand the ridiculous concept of gendered toys. Leave her be.

My oldest daughter was similar, her best friends at nursery happened to be 2 boys and she was happy there.
Shes in reception now and her best friend is a girl, 2 other best friends are boys, and she is now getting more interested in girly things and does play with the other girls as she says they play more interesting games now and that the boys always play the same things and are rough sometimes.

(Before anyone comments on stereotypes being wrong, this is just her words and experience friends wise. Not saying all schools or children are like that!)

Name change fail op.

I work in a preschool. All toys are just toys it's a total non issue.
Also mum of a girl who is what's traditionally called a tomboy. It's Ace, she's popular, I always have a house full of her friends and yes they're all boys. They just accept her as one of them.

You're totally over thinking...it will be fine!

If it's a good nursery the toys will encourage open-ended play, not be filled with lots of plastic crap.

It won't be an issue at all, your DD will make friends with like-minded children and play all sorts of different games. Don't worry.

She sounds exactly like my dd at 3. She is still doing her own thing at 6, and all her friends are boys. She is friendly with girls, but the children she talks about avd has Home for tea etc are all boys. About 2 weeks after starting school she announced that groups of girls were silly. Age has also refused to ever watch Frozen, (but has limited tolerance of Brave). She has lots of soft toys, but doesn’t play with dolls as such. I am rather proud of her for picking her own route.