To think you should watch your own child!

[notmycircusnotmyjob]

NC for this.

Took DD to a new stay and play this morning.
All was fine and DD was quite happy playing with a little trough of sand.
Another girl came along and started to shove my DD and not share, the girl then pushed my DD hard and my DD pushed her back and got sand on her.

The girl ran off to her mum and said she had had sand thrown in her eyes I said that wasn't what happened and that she had pushed my DD and so my DD had pushed her back.
The mum asked if this was the case and the girl said it was true.

The mum then looked at me and loudly said "well the polite thing to do would have been to come and tell me what happened wouldn't it, because I wasn't watching."

I replied that I had just stood there and told her what had happened and that I was watching and there was nothing else to tell her.
I then said that if she was watching her child then she would have known anyway.

AIBU to think that you should watch your own child and not expect others so report to you?

Forgot to add that the mum was just sat on the grass drinking coffee chatting with her friends.

“I’m sorry, you must be under the mistaken impression that it is literally anyone else’s job to watch your child.”

Yanbu

Zoe
Exactly! I was a bit gobsmacked by her response!

You sound smug op.

How the does OP sound smug???

Did you also reprimand your DD for pushing back? I sometimes find exaggeratedly teaching my own child lessons in politeness is an excellent way of further irritating people like this.

Smug?

Because I was watching my child and she wasn't watching hers?

Not my job to watch other people's kids is it? Certainly isn't my job to report to other mums what their kids are doing.

Rosy
Yes I did, I was about to tell her to say sorry when the mum said what she did.
Didn't bother after that.

You Dd did fine, she shoved a kid who shoved her first, good lesson it not getting walked all over once she starts school. Maybe the other little girl will be a bit more reluctant to shove others to get her way.
I also agree, not your job to watch the other kid. Her Mum needs to do her own job.

Yes you watch your own child, tbh I'd probably of asked the other child to play nice the first time she shoved mine but this other woman was BU you should always keep an eye on your own children no matter where you are

Yes, tell us how you reprimanded your kid for pushing?

Why didn’t you step in after the first shove?

YANBU. I would just scoop her out and tell her to go to mummy.

You don't need to justify your actions to a parent not watching their dc.

Did you also reprimand your DD for pushing back?

No, I think it's fine for OP's DD to push back. Kids should defend themselves.

I sometimes find exaggeratedly teaching my own child lessons in politeness is an excellent way of further irritating people like this.

But the other girl's mum wasn't around when the pushing happened so who would OP be irritating if she reprimanded her own DD?

You sound smug op

Is this the new " cancel the cheque " or what?

Ridiculous response. OP Yanbu. The other woman should have been watching her child.

You sound smug op.

Translates as: 'I'm envious that you are more assertive than me.'

yes something like that.

Assertive......oh OK.

Isn't it funny how those who can't be arsed to watch their own kid always seem to come back with an answer about the other adult being in the wrong.

I told her it wasn't nice to shove, if she was the one who shoved first I would have told her off more.
I was bullied at school because I didn't stand up for myself and I don't want that to happen to her.
It's also why I don't allow other adults put me down either.

What lesson would I be teaching my DD if I let people speak like that to me and not say anything back?

It's not being smug, it's not being a walkover.

You don’t sound smug at all job
I think you handled it well

Yanbu o.p soft play is a pain for it too

Do you even know what smug actually means Myheartbelongsto? Because your accusation doesn't fit here.

YANBU. I'd have done the same. Your DD pushed back. That's what kids do. Her DD lied about it and her DM reprimanded you! Not the same at all.

Just to clarify, if my DD had in face thrown sand in the girls eyes she would have been in serious trouble for that.
The girl may have got sand on her but it would have been tiny bits that were on my DDs hand at the time.

She certainly didn't throw it at her like she made out!

I think she was more upset that somebody had actually stood up to her, the same as her DM!