AIBU to have a baby for this reason?

[Brokenhaart]

I'm 25 and been in a happy relationship for five years. We both still live at his DMs with a plan to get a house next year. My DM was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago and was told at the time it was not curable. Her latest results show new cancer growth and been told that there aren't really any options to hold it back any more and she's looking at 14 months left. The thought of getting married and my mum not ever meeting a grand child makes me so upset. Myself and DP would look to have children in two years once we have our own place and have seen more of the world, but part of me thinks do it now so I get to share some of the experience with mum. We have two homes we can live at worst comes to worst and surely we can do it if teenagers manage? We both have stable, full time jobs. AIBU to rush having a baby because of this reason? My head is scrambled at the moment with trying to accept the diagnoses but I can't imagine not sharing these moments with mum.

OP
Glad to read your update that you’re feeling calmer and this thread has been helpful so far

I think it’s a very good idea to have more discussions about marriage with your DP. You don’t have to decide straight away but do keep talking it over and talk through any concerns he might have. Of course a baby is a much bigger commitment than marriage, it’s bringing a new person into the world, you can’t undo that in the way that you can get a divorce, and you will be coparents forever! Please also consider that marriage provides some legal and financial protection which is particularly important if one of you (usually the woman) takes a career break and/or reduces working hours in order to have a child.

Personally I think it’s more meaningful to have the actual legal ceremony, but if you want to do that later and do a non-legal ceremony, you could do whatever you like really. Maybe look into humanist weddings, they are not legally binding in the uk and many people have a humanist ceremony after they have done the legal bit.

That's an unfair and extremely defensive rant WellFuck. How long have you been waiting for the chance to let that one rip?

Sorry I should have said they are not legally binding in England. You can have a humanist wedding in Scotland which is legally binding I believe.

Hugs OP. Be kind to yourself at this tough time. We're here for you.

I am so incredibly sad and sympathetic to read what you are going through- and although it's not the same thing at all, I went through a lot of stress and heartbreak during my pregnancy and this caused lots of complications, including what I think was the cause of a premature birth. So not only is there the risk of you not having a smooth and stress free pregnancy(obviously wouldn't happen to everyone) but I spent a lot of time in hospital and I'm just thinking how much time this could take you away from your mother when you need to be spending as much time as you can with her. X x

Sorry have just realised I may have made this sound like a sob story for me- I just don't want anyone else to go through it when it's supposed to be such a happy time x