Okay, so as not to drip-feed, here's the backstory:
My sister approached me a few months back, she said she was desperate to throw a shower for me as my baby will be the first for our sibling group and she wanted to be as involved as possible. But the problem she had was that she couldn't afford it, so could I pay?
I was planning on asking my close family and friends out for a meal to thank them for their support during My pregnancy anyways so I thought if I gave that money to my sister and just thanked everyone there then I could keep everyone happy, but honestly I would have preferred the meal-I hate receiving gifts and I much prefer events to have a nice clean end time (i.e. Once the bill is paid I can leave and not worry about being rude) but she'd already looked into everything and priced it up so I thought well, what's the harm in it? She gets to enjoy herself and I get to see all my friends and family and thank them in person, and have a nice time.
Today we were shopping for unrelated things with my mum and my sister picked up a pack of those cheap prepackaged shots teens tend to drink and said "is it okay to drink at your baby shower?" To which I said no, Mum said yes and my sister said "of course it is" all at the same time. Then they both looked at me like I had two heads.
For context, my mum drinks at least 4 cans every night and I've had to put up with her being pissed for my whole life. The night before my GCSE maths exam (years ago, but as an example) I had to help her upstairs and into bed at 4 am. I do not like the rude and upsetting person she becomes after drinking a small amount and I hate the sound of her slurring her words. My sister is not much of a drinker usually but when she does drink she always misunderstands her limits and gets drunk. She's also a massive lightweight.
I am not much of a drinker myself and do not enjoy being the only sober person in the room. I will actively avoid staying long enough to parent drunk people because I hate it that much, but at my own shower I obviously cannot leave early. I really do not like the idea of people drinking, it will upset me and stress me out. Both my mum and my sister smoke weed and I know they will definitely do this at my party whether they drink or not.
Is it wrong of me to expect one night where my friends and family dont drink? I'm absolutely not against a single glass of wine each to celebrate but when I suggested that both of them shot the idea down. I'm worried they will go too far and I will end up babysitting them!