To want to throw myself off our hotel balcony?

[Cisforcat]

We are on holiday with our normally reasonably behaved 3 yr old and 4 yr old and in our second week.

First week one set of grandparents were here and there were a few tantrums but nothing too major which we put down to tiredness from heat and being active all day.

They normally sleep 7-7 so as they are going to bed at around 9.30 ish we have enforced a 2 hr afternoon nap so getting reasonable amounts of sleep as they aren't waking until around 8-8.30 am.

The last few days we have had tantrums galore. Defiance at EVERYTHING , back chatting and general feral behaviour. It was my birthday one day and I didn't get any dinner as had to remove one feral animal from the dining area for absolutely unacceptable behaviour and a full on tantrum on the floor where literally everyone was watching. Queue me ending my birthday in tears and at my wits end. That's not to mention the toilet accidents they have seemed to have everyday. No idea where that has come from!

AIBU to feel like my children are the only ones to behave so unusually badly and never want to go on holiday again?
I'm embarrassed but most importantly so disappointed that they are ruining the one event I look forward to every year where I don't have to wash/cook/ clean and work on top of spending quality time with my family.

You’ve given me a good idea, we have a balcony...
We are on holiday in Austria with DS age 21 months and the in-laws. We came last year and had a lovely time. This year we are in a different apartment up 2 flights of stairs and so dark it’s like a cave, it has rained constantly and now the toddler has a sickness bug.
He threw up all over both him and me when we got in after the days activities sadly DH didn’t witness this so once I’d managed to do an approximate clear up and wash clothes in the bathroom sink (thanks MIL for providing the travel wash!) DH fed DS a packet of breadsticks and when he hadn’t been sick 15 mintutes later insisted it was just he’d had off milk and we were fine to go out to dinner. Where of course DS was sick again... Fortunately restaurant was empty aside from us (see earlier comment about constant rain..!) and DH brought DS home and has done the next clean up and put him to bed.
Right now I’d much rather be at home where it’s a sunny 25 degrees I have a garden, a washing machine and an endless supply of towels...

Always suspected this would be the likely outcome hence caravan holidays in Norfolk/Devon/Cornwall for donkey's years. Not the most exciting but at least we hadn't forked out £££ for enduring the random hissies.

We finally risked taking them abroad when youngest was about 10 and even then it was another 'van albeit one with a theme parke and water palace attached

park!

I think the icing on the cake for me was when they were absolute shits in Disneyworld. It was costing us what worked out to about £1k a day. I figured that if they couldn't behave well and be happy in Disneyworld, then they would not behave well and be happy anywhere.

Was having a lovely holiday with our 2 and half year old, except that she came down with hand foot and mouth half way through. Couldn’t eat anything -as her mouth and lips were covered in ulcers, hated the medicine we bought there and woke up every half hour in the night with a 40 degree temp. The plane journey home was horrific. She fell asleep immediately as she was so tired from not sleeping the night before, but an announcement woke her up and she was just hysterical - beyond a tantrum. I had never seen her like it. We were both in tears and I didn’t know what to do. Ended up spending 2 hours of the flight in the toilet where I finally managed to calm her down. We didn’t go away the following year

But we managed a long haul flight and 2 week all inclusive when she was 4 and youngest 8 months. They were amazing on the flight and we had a fab holiday. So next time might be better!

SIngle Dad here. Didn’t take my son on many long holidays until 4 years ago, when he was 6 years old. We have travelled to Asia, the USA, Africa, the Middle East and Europe together and never had a problem, with the exception of him being a little rude on occasion (mainly with him forgetting his Ps and Qs).

We usually go abroad about 5-6 times a year and will be going on a 20 day driving holiday in France starting on Sunday. Needless to say I am not anticipating any issues, but he is 10 years old now.

I suspect that only having one child it makes it much easier than having more. Maybe only one parent also changes the dynamics.

I'm sorry but your sense of humour it's just so funny.
I'm glad the prospect of jumping of a balcony hasn't affected your wit.
I don't have any experience but sounds like your kids are a bit young for so many new experiences.
What an absolute shame to spend money and feel so miserable.
Would have been nice if grandparents had taken the little ferrals.
Hang in there nearly over.

Holidays with kids are shit until they're about 8

and then soon after they turn into teens and spend the whole sodding holiday moping because they miss their boyfriend, or because there's only wifi in the hotel reception, or because you've told them that you'd like them to spend 5 minutes enjoying the holiday rather than being on their bloody phone the entire time

Can you tell that I speak from bitter experience?

I have a lot of photos of DH and I gritting our teeth smiling alongside mental granny while one or all of the kids have been spitting nails and looking like some sort of beetroot flambe.
The Algarve. EuroDisney. French countryside. Croatian beachside bar. Name the holiday hotspot, we've been there with kids either melting down and/or puking and/or setting fire to everyone's peace of mind within a 5 mile radius.

The best was last year. We stopped in at an M&S in Paris and reduced it to a quagmire of insanity within 5 minutes.
Only it wasn't the kids throwing a tantrum. No. Not this time. It was granny. It took an hour and a half to remove her from the premises. Two of the employees commented to each other in French that we were English.. as if this were some sort of explanation for everything.

Op, you have listed the exact reason why my oh refuses to take the kids away. We did Spain, oh hated every minute moment and I was constantly plastered with a fake smile trying to make everyone have a good time.

The plus side was we got our money back as the flight back was so delayed then cancelled without warning, we made a claim.

I do feel for you op. X

Poor you! Hope it improves. My daughter is flying to Spain tomorrow with a four year old and two year old. She's currently sat in an airport hotel room trying to get them to sleep. I've told her it will get better and I really hope it does as she deserves to have a lovely holiday, as does everyone with small children to look after. She's definitely braver than me as I didn't dare take her and her brother on holiday until they were 6 and 8!

Sounds horrendous!

Our holiday abroad with our then 2 year old was tricky. My lasting memory is of her escaping from the restaurant table (completely unexpected), running outside and down the road with DH and FIL chasing after her. We really got a fright!

4 years later we've not been abroad again. We now also have a 3 year old torag who’s a wee shit at times (and so full of character). We’re doing the Uk again this year. Possibly next year but we’ll see.

We did cottage holidays in the UK until the kids were older for this reason. We all have our own bedrooms. Weather same as home. Can take all toys we need. Food the same.

It worked well.

Started going abroad when younger dc was 7. Villas, though, not hotels (because I don’t want to holiday in a hotel).

British seaside worked best for us when they were small. Buckets and spades, ice cream and fishing in rock pools. The worse was a city break with three between 10- 14. They were usually great at holidays by that age but the memories of their whingeing and fighting still sticks in my mind now.

I've always had ridiculously easy holidays with my DC because my parents live abroad, so we always go to them, and so I have at least one other pair of hands to help - not to mention the fact that my parents always buy/rent everything the DC could possibly need or want.

It still didn't stop meltdowns, tantrums, toilet (or lack of) accidents, sleep disruption, general awfulness, and me seriously considering booking an early flight home. The worst one ever was DS (then 3yo) having a screaming hairy fit in the middle of a packed restaurant so awful I had to carry him out with everyone staring. After he'd punched my dad smack in the eye.

They were usually pretty well behaved, and are now that they're older it is so much easier. But my GOD those early years were hard. Of course the DC remember those holidays as absolutely perfect...

The new environment can unsettle them. Also, kids can be demons when they fancy it.

I'm sorry you're having a shit holiday. We had one terrible one a few years ago. Husband and I had the shock of our life. It was grueling. Keep expectations low. It helps.

We’ve travelled with DS since he was a tiny baby and I think it makes a difference. However, now he’s three he does get unsettled by the enormity of it all.

Flights, no problem, he knows what to expect. Lounge beforehand (and I mean BA room where they have a children’s room with computers etc.) he was whingey last time. Go figure.

Day at the beach, theme park, even queuing for TWO HOURS for a ride he wanted to go on, fine. Restaurant that night with his favourite foods, not a happy chappy.

Who knows. We’ll keep doing it because the good times well outweigh the bad, but we only have one DC.

My advice is to start them young travelling/flying though. At least that is a doddle for us now, as his ability to sleep anywhere.

Truly feel your pain. Boring point here OP but as I live in a hot country with my two dc who we're toders when we moved here I'm keen to know if they've become dehydrated. I know from experience that if mine were dehydrated they would tantrum or be angry/out of character and in the summer it can creep up on you. Do check, it would explain toilet accidents too if their usual bladder routine is off. My daughter would total melt down after preschool when she was like that but you don't pick up on it when they go in the pool so keep falsely cool/wet. Sorry for dull post!!

It's a complete waste of time having holidays when they are little as it isn't a holiday.
The kids are in a strange place and a whole new routine. They are behaving how you would expect considering the circumstances.

they are ruining the one event I look forward to every year where I don't have to wash/cook/ clean and work on top of spending quality time with my family

I'm sorry, but when you have kids you have to forgo some of the things you would like. I take it you are well rested from your lack of cooking, washing and cleaning. I think 2 weeks off this with small children is the best you can hope for.

I've had great holidays with my lot since they were little, but my expectations were very low. I let them stay up till all hours and sleep in the pushchair in restaurants.
Some days we did pretty much nothing, just hang out together. Lots of paper and crayons were used. I never read the books I took with me. Most quiet time I got was in the shower. Still it was all fun.

God, pack them off to your (or DH's parents) next time and go on your own! I'd be gutted to have a lovely AI ruined.

We haven't been on holiday for 4 years but we went to a UK holiday lodge for 4-5 days earlier in the year to see how we got on! it was fine. We are going self-catering UK next time.I can't bear the thought of going abroad.

You've decided to inflict your idea of a holiday on your DC and they are telling you what they think of it.

Blimey - am I the only person to have actually enjoyed holidays with my dcs? I would never have stayed in a hotel with them at that age though - they are far too young to appreciate it or for you to get any benefit. Self-catering is much more relaxing all round. Plenty of time for hotels when they are old enough to enjoy it. I agree with others who have said the rock pooling, sandcastle building, paddling and crabbing stage is too short to bypass - when an ice cream and a game of crazy golf (or a ride on the roundabout if in France) is their idea of the best day ever. It’s pretty inevitable with little kids that holidays will involve a lot of the same routine in a different place, but it’s for such a short time - gone in the blink of an eye. I’m approaching the time when my teens won’t want to come on holiday with us anymore and although I’m looking forward to some romantic breaks with just the two of us I’m secretly hoping they’ll still be up for the odd family holiday because they are such good company.