To want to throw myself off our hotel balcony?

[Cisforcat]

We are on holiday with our normally reasonably behaved 3 yr old and 4 yr old and in our second week.

First week one set of grandparents were here and there were a few tantrums but nothing too major which we put down to tiredness from heat and being active all day.

They normally sleep 7-7 so as they are going to bed at around 9.30 ish we have enforced a 2 hr afternoon nap so getting reasonable amounts of sleep as they aren't waking until around 8-8.30 am.

The last few days we have had tantrums galore. Defiance at EVERYTHING , back chatting and general feral behaviour. It was my birthday one day and I didn't get any dinner as had to remove one feral animal from the dining area for absolutely unacceptable behaviour and a full on tantrum on the floor where literally everyone was watching. Queue me ending my birthday in tears and at my wits end. That's not to mention the toilet accidents they have seemed to have everyday. No idea where that has come from!

AIBU to feel like my children are the only ones to behave so unusually badly and never want to go on holiday again?
I'm embarrassed but most importantly so disappointed that they are ruining the one event I look forward to every year where I don't have to wash/cook/ clean and work on top of spending quality time with my family.

i think its just all the newness and changes.its like seeing a whole new world,whole routine changes,different people.mum and dad act differently on holiday so do all around them.the scenery is different,i think with little ones it beomes a sensory overload.
take every moment you can and relax.it doesn't last forever nor does it mean that just because one holiday is like this they all will be.
keep trying little weekend away too we found helpful.to make sure they could always no routine changes and change in location and holidays were ok and the norm

Agree that holidays with young dc are hard work but seeing as youve got to take some time off and attempt down time might as well go somewhere nice.

I have developed some rules.

Shorthall. Minimal flight time.

Reduce expectations. Is this your first holiday abroad with dc? Its hard reconciling getting up at 7am and chasing a toddler round a pool and being on duty constantly with holidays pre-dc.

We holiday SC in home from home (plus pool) type places. Plenty of meals at home more chilled than eating out every single night but still getting out to restaurants sometimes.

We took in laws a lot of the time so we could have a night off or a day trip out to do things just the two of us. (This is a double edged sword).

I think your big mistake was going for 2 weeks. Its too long with young dc. Dh wont do 2 weeks but im not willing to go through packing and flying for one week only. We compromise on 9-10 days. I push it to 11 or 12 and he gets tetchy.

It helps if you are somewhere the kids can play and you can sit. Villas with enclosed garden (away from pool) are great. Of course a 2yo requires constant attendance. Ruins a holiday, that said i'd rather be in sunny lovely abroad holiday place than hoping for nice weather after 6 hour drive to devon (or longer!).

Unfortunately children like and need routine. I guess very few young children can cope well with different routines. I never had problems taking mine on holiday but we didn’t try to keep them up late and kept it all centred on what they needed. Don’t stop going on holiday!

I never bothered with holidays with my kids when they were small as I knew it would be a nightmare. Even now they aren't great as the kids are at an age where they don't get on that well (13 and 11). The best holidays we've had are camping with a big group of friends or sharing a caravan with my BF and her kids.

It's not just your kids OP. Change in routine, different activities, different food/bedrooms etc, it creates over stimulation and they lose the little emotional self-regulation that they've acquired.

When mine was little I loathed and feared holidays so much due to the kind of behaviour you describe that I even refused to go on holiday altogether one year. It was so stressful and made me exhausted and resentful.

They will grow out of it as they get older, promise.

Bit late to say this, but I worked out that ours were real menaces if they'd had too much sugar. It;s so easy on holiday to give them a treat of a sweet drink and an icecream but just those two are enough to turn normal children into hysterical wildebeest. When I cut out the sugar and gave them toy tat from market stalls as holiday treats instead, the tantrums vanished.

We didn't even dare take our two abroad until they were 8 or 9. You're brave OP. You deserve a second birthday when you get home.

That's not to mention the toilet accidents they have seemed to have everyday.

DP's son did that when we a big gang of us went on holiday when he was 2. Peed his pants every goddamn day, sometimes twice. They were convinced he was potty trained before we went, he'd been dry in the daytime for a couple of months.

We were staying in Ireland in a friend's family home, it rained at least twice a day, nothing in the house worked and getting washing dry was a nightmare. One memorable day, he was in his last set of clean dry clothes and he went out into the yard and sat in a puddle. His mother cried with sheer exasperation.

We decided it was protest pissing, because he didn't want to be away from home. He'd been a complete little fucker on their caravan holiday a year earlier, and they'd come home early.

Probably not a popular solution of Mumsnet, but we used to take MIL along too! Having a higher adult to child ratio was helpful.

It does get better.

Our essentials for holiday with 2 and 4 year old.

Hotel- apartment with a 2 bedroom apartment at least half board. I do not cook on holiday. 2 year old in bedroom, 4 year old on sofa bed, is in bedroom. Can put 2 year old to bed first if tired. 4 year old stays up for the show. We actually get sleep as no kids in room.

Kids pool (paddling height so you don’t have to actually get in) ideally with a pirate ship / slide thing to entertain them and things to throw so they can go fetch them. Watering can for 2 year old, hours of fun getting water, getting out and watering your feet whilst you sit on sunbed by pool.

Playground - kids get fed up of pool after a while.

Kids club - if they will be left there (woo hoo!) if not just one parent stays and plays. Other rests. They like a break from physical stuff to do bit of colouring or whatever kids club activities are on.

Mini - disco. They love it. You can sit down hand drink. It tires them out.

Evening show (ditto to above).
My kids love watching a show again we can rest! Late to bed also means a lie in!

Close transfer from hotel to airport. Book your own transfer - do not go on coach!! Another hour waiting for people fannying around. And on way back time your taxi so you get them before / after coach drop offs so you’re not in huge queue.

Do not think you will have fun all the time. Have couple of hours off each a day and don’t feel guilty about it. It doesn’t need two of you to parent all day. Don’t start day too early if you can. Take time out for kids to chill. Let them have iPads at meals if it means you can chance to eat and they eat.

I honestly think 2 weeks is too long. 2 weeks sitting round a pool is dull, the heat ends up being uncomfortable. They get tired, out of routine.

For me, as an adult 2 weeks somewhere hot, in an all inclusive situation, and I get really really fed up and bored, I get a bit sunburnt and fed up of being wet and of having no real base. I start to get fed up of hotel food and I just feel a bit bleh. As an adult i can control my emotions, as a child I can easily see I could end up tantruming.

I think when you have young children you've just got to accept that you aren't going to be having foreign holidays in the same way you could pre DC. It's one of the things that happens when you have DC. I personally think villas and things are easier because you can stick to the routine, they've got somewhere to relax and escape from the heat. You can still eat out every night if you want but you've also got the option of not if things are really going wrong. Buy in some alcohol so you can still drink etc. If it's your thing I honestly think UK holidays are better with young children because there's more for them to do, and less over-stimulation from the weather, different food, strange hotel.

Not being funny, are they drinking plenty of water?

We've done holidays abroad with DD when she was under 3. DS is 3 now and there's no way I'd take him anywhere like that. We're holidaying in the UK in the PIL's caravan this summer and might also go away with our tent. In both cases the holiday accommodation is either free or cheap so I will absolutely turn around and come home early if necessary (with or without the children )

Not being funny, are they drinking plenty of water

I was wondering if the chlorine in the swimming pool might have something to do with it.

First of all we need a new word for holiday with children because it doesn’t even bear a passing resemblance to a holiday. If the eskimos can have words for different types of snow surely we can find something to capture the unique combination of torture, crushed expectations, exhaustion, embarrassment and staggering expense cos holiday doesn’t cut it.

On a practical level self catering is miles easier with dc than full board. Dragging kids around restaurants every day at set times is not worth the break from cooking. Keeping on top of kids in a restaurant is a massive amount of work. I get loads of sympathy from family and friends about our holidays but the worst holiday we ever had with the dc was the one where we had full board. I would never do it again. With self catering we have much more flexibility and can respond to the ebb and flow of the dc more easily.

Any chance they are constipated? dS age 4 gets like this every year on holiday without fail and is a whiny brat until he has a good poo a couple of days later

Just because you are on holiday, does not mean that your children's routine goes out of the window.
You need to step up and set the boundaries/expectations.

I refused to do ‘my life in a foreign country’ until the kids were older for this reason. It’s hard enough at home with a change in routine without adding a whole new world for them in too.
It’s not just you.

We’ve been doing two holidays abroad since my kids were newborns. And you can bet your bottom dollar we also bring along my parents and my MIL. Everyone gets along exceptionally well, and we do evenings out in rotation. All the grandparents are hands-on playing with the kids, and we alternate between day trips and hanging at the beach/pool.

I would try really hard to convince them to go to kids club, maybe try a party one? My dc age 5 loves them but is always really reluctant to begin with

Could you drop the naps and instead of waiting for the restaurant to open just give them whatever snacks you can at 5pm (the places I stay at means hotdog, chips, burgers, pizzas ) and put them to bed at 7pm or are you sharing a room?

We had one day of DD being awful on holiday last year. She wasn't allowed to watch the kids entertainment. She behaved the next day (although almost certainly due to the early night rather than the threat of no mini disco).

I'm completely relying on dd being willing to go to kids club this year, even if it's just one 2 hour session. I'll be gutted if she doesn't go.....

Maybe 2 weeks is a bit too much when they are young. Certainly was for our two.

I'm so glad I found this thread. I'm itching to book a last minute summer holiday, all of which are astronomical and not exactly what we'd want at this late stage, but this thread has reminded me of all the horrible holidays we've had with our DC before now. In fact I'm currently hiding in my bedroom because they are behaving like arseholes and I have 'the fear' because our schools finish tomorrow. Thanks OP.

Can I offer a suggestion? Go to the beach where they can dig, collect pebbles, shells etc., rather than the pool which is boring for a child.

Oh I have found my people!

We have 5 kids . we used to spend a fortune paying to stay somewhere not half as nice as home.

No more.