Cut My Nose To Spite My Face Now Miserable and Lonely

[WokeUpWithAHeadache]

I posted a while ago (under a different name) about DP asking for lift so he could meet & have lunch with his sister while I waited outside for a few hours.

We ended up having an argument about something else which resulted in me shouting ‘ BTW I never changed my name to UBER find your own way to your lunch ‘ - not my finest moment.

He realised his mistake & said he never intended to make me feel like that.

The lunch is/was today and his Dsis changed the plans to them playing a sport they both enjoy this afternoon and then a BBQ this evening to watch the football. I could drive over for the BBQ.
I said no.
It was never about him spending time with her (which I encourage) it was sitting in the car & waiting whilst they got pissed.

He left this morning. I’m bored now.

AIBU to have a Magnum & glass of rose now to console myself?

It’s glorious

I was on your other thread. Crikey i wish my life was that easy. I have a lot more difficult issues than being bored. Miserable because you turned down a bbq with them. Really? It’s too hot to be a snowflake op. Yes absolutely. And give your head a good wobble.

I read your other thread. Try not to make a mountain over a molehill like with the other thread. All you had to do was talk to him about it.
I think you need to learn to communicate with him and not just blurt out things.

Ahh; I know a few people who work from home and struggle like this...

Do you rely on him to be your company? That's easy to do if he's your only companionship during the day; the only adult you see for any real conversation - but it's not a good thing. Branch out and see other people! You'll feel much freer for it.

Why were you supposed to wait in the car? Why couldn’t you join them for lunch? That’s the bit I find odd.

Why were you supposed to wait in the car? Why couldn’t you join them for lunch? That’s the bit I find odd.

*I don't think you sound like hard work. I'd be really insulted if I was asked to give DH a lift somewhere and whilst they had food and drinks I had to wait outside. I'd feeling really really used.

Yes you said no to the bbq but I would have felt the same, like second best and wouldn't want a pity invite*

Absolutely agree 100% with what geology said.

YABU to wallow though. Home alone is a glorious thing! Have all your favourite things, completely unwind... ahh.

Have a spa style bath/eat a bucket of ice cream/order a takeaway/have a posh G&T/ play your favourite music/watch your favourite things/read a book/mumsnet whatever.... sigh

I quite liked your “I never changed my name to Uber” quip and it obviously got the message across!

Just enjoy the peace, they sound weird anyway

But I do agree with others - the title makes it sound like you LTB and now miserable and lonely “4eva” rather than for one evening. I’m sure you’ll cope (single parent here sonlo

@Mummyoflittledragon

You have no idea concerning the difficulties I am facing in my life.
How lonely I feel.
How my 16 yo son is going to be homeless in a week which I am desperately trying to rectify
Yes I do feel miserable & alone
No I’m not a snowflake
Every single damn day is a day I don’t want to get up

FFS now it posts!

(Single parent here so low threshold for people moaning about being lonely when their OH is away for a day )

FFS now it posts!

(Single parent here so low threshold for moaning about being lonely when your OH is away for a day!)

I’m sorry for that outburst - it was unnecessary I’m just feeling down

Sorry

He was clearly BU about waiting in the car, but saw your point of view (when you told him, admittedly) and has since apologised and changed plans to avoid that situation

Do you want to go to the BBQ? If so, surely all you need to do is message and say that the weather is still looking good, so you'd like to join them after all and what can you bring with you? not double caramel magnums, they are too good to share

Or enjoy the me time

Ah sorry x-post.

I’m sorry you feel that way. It seems like this was an incident that hit you all the harder because of how you feel generally. Does your DP know you’re struggling?

That’s ok. I was trying to cheer you up. The grin means its tongue in cheek. Sorry you’re going through a hard time. This is what you need to post about. If you’re going through all of that your dp was an inconsider arse to expect you to wait in the car so he could get pissed.

I remember your previous thread OP, thought him and his DS had a cheek to be fair. That was a great line you gave him.

Better to be alone with wine and a Magnum than sitting outside a restaurant while he gets pissed.

Do you have enough outside interests? essential when you work from home. Any friends you could join for the match?

I remember your previous post. I thought you discussed the issue with him and showed him the thread full of comments calling him a twat for expecting you to drive him and then sit in a car by yourself while he got pissed with his sister.

Was that not how it went down?

Cross post. Does your son live with you OP, that's very young to be homeless?

Thank you all. Again sorry I’m being a blubbering emotional mess.

My son chose to live with his Dad when we split because he didn’t want him to be on his own (again I’ve posted about this before but name changed) & his Dad announced a few weeks ago he was moving to Tanzania with his GF.
It’s just very stressful . Ex messaged me last night that I need to find a home for the dog & 25 years of furniture within the week as well as by beloved DS.
DP & I moved to a completely new town so we could be within commutable distance to both our DCs

I don't think you cut off your nose etc etc. You stood up for yourself and made the decision NOT to do something you didn't want to do. You're not a taxi service and if you have to miss a BBQ to make the point, so what?

Frankly, I treasure my 'me days' when DH goes off to do his hobby. I know that it's hard sometimes to be alone when you have a lot on your mind. But it can also refresh you or even give you time to think quietly about your problems with a 'new eye' and come up with solutions you hadn't thought of.

Not sure why you agreed to the lift in the first place? Surely you’d just say you couldn’t do it because it would mean you hanging around for hours?

Is your DP against your DS living with you? why is it your job to find a home for the furniture and the dog, were they yours in the past?

What a hard time you're going through OP.

The furniture & dog were ours but he chose to take everything when he left.
DS doesn’t want to move in with me as I am an hour away from his home town & friends.
I didn’t have a choice about where I lived at the time as I went into a hostel

OP what type of takeaway will you go for?

Can you still go? Be nice for you to spend time with his sister esp if shes not here very often